Do you still get financial help/treats from your parents?

[littlepieces]

Lots of people I know have everything from bills to holidays paid for by their families. I'm fascinated by this and wondered how common it is? I'm 35 and my parents haven't given me a penny since the day I left home (which is of course totally fine) and they don't really do gifts.

One friend, 32; her parents' paid for her car, the insurance and maintenance when she was at uni, have continued to pay for this throughout her adult life, so she has a mode of transport and can visit them. Quite a few friends in late 20s and 30s still have their phone contracts paid for by parents too.

Another friend, 40, gets her credit card bill paid for by her mum each month, (£30-40) and if she needs furniture or something for her flat, 9 times out of 10 her mum just buys it for her. Her mum also gave her £5,000 to get her bathroom done.

A colleague, 31, (pre pandemic) regularly had holidays paid for by her parents/grandparents because she 'deserved a break', and we're talking big trips to Tanzania, Cuba, Thailand, etc.

Yes, my parents are very kind and I feel very lucky. My dad would give my sisters and I £200 a month when we went to university. Now he still gives us each £100 a month in a fund. He has just retired and I told him off for still giving us money and he begrudgingly agreed to stop 😄
My mum is very generous and will often pay for clothes/shoes when out shopping. Happens maybe a couple times a year as we live in different countries. My mum is always very generous with my daughter and has bought her a lot of good quality, expensive clothes like winter coats and suits, paid £500 towards her pram etc

I've never had a penny from either of my parents, ever !. Not even for my wedding.

Mum gives me about £300 for my birthday each year. Other than that, no.

My dad died when I was in my 20s and I had inherited money to help me buy my a house as a result though.

Zero financial help from the moment I left home and that suits me fine. If they tried to offer me any money, I would refuse it.

They want to give me a few hundred quid for my 50th next year, because they did that with my brother. I'm not keen at all.

After uni mine didn't in general although they did put £1500 towards a second hand car for me in my 20s because they had given my sister their "spare car" when she left home at that time.

They also put £1000 towards my wedding and paid for the cake. They seemed surprised that £1k wouldn't pay for the whole wedding!

When I had my first child they bought a cot and changing table.

Those were the only big gifts for many years. However recently (I'm now 47) they gave me £6k towards our new driveway. I hadn't asked or hinted and its not as if we couldn't afford to budget for it. However they are in their late 70s and I think suddenly getting spooked about IHT. My mum's parents died when mum was mid 60s so she actually has quite a chunk of inherited money sitting around, and a big paid off house.

They've never paid regular treats or top up sums. It was drummed into us when we were young that they'd fund a good education so we could get qualifications and good jobs and stand on our own two feet.

My husband's parents are dead now but they handed out some huge sums to his feckless siblings (I'm talking houses, cars and private school for his sister's child; they are still feckless by the way so I don'tthink it did them any favours). H also had quite a bit of "help" as a young adult but not after getting a proper job. They did buy quite a lot of premium bonds for our children and gave us £3k for a wedding gift. They were quite well off though.

Nope, I’m my 40s and regularly pay for little things for my mum, who has never had much money.

We give our adult kids a regular allowance. None of them need it as they all have decent jobs and don't have kids etc. Regular gifts that are given out of income can be exempt from inheritance tax so it's a sensible way of giving money to them.

We've also helped with house deposits and bought them cars etc.

We give them money because we have high pensions and savings. We don't go short at all. We had final salary pensions. 🤷🏻‍♀️.
It's not made any of them lazy or greedy and all of them are careful with their money and all work hard.
I think it's normal for parents to help out with deposits where we live

Nothing
Left home at 18 I'm now 50
Get a bday cheque ...£25
Xmas...similar

I have two adult daughters...both loving independently living away from home
Now and then I'll see a bar choc or sweets I know they like and buy them ,I might send a little something via amazon a couple times a year...treat them to coffee n cake when we meet up ...we helped eldest to pay for wedding ..gifted a couple 1000 and will do same for other daughter.
Up to now that about it
We both work in low paid jobs so don't have much spare cash so can't give big amounts etc
Spend about £60 each at Xmas plus similar for bday .

@BillyJoe111 your story is very familiar. Everything was squirrelled away and enjoyment/pleasure frowned upon. Turns out all that money means fuck all when you spend 5 years bed-bound. The purse strings have loosened since my mum died and I asked my dad to pay for my removals this year - and he did happily. But I never ask - too used to being told no when I was desperate. He filled my tank last month unexpectedly and little things like that make a huge difference.

We have more spare money than our parents do (and we don't have a lot). None of them (possibly my dad but he doesn't offer...) have any disposable income really, they can barely afford their own bills.

It's always sort of depressing to hear that other people get handouts etc when we are scrimping and saving just to go home and visit them occasionally!

No nothing, but I have a much younger sibling so I wouldn't expect it as they still have him at home. However as of last week me and ds are staying with them during the week while dp stays at our house whilst we wait for the sale/purchase to go through (because of distance/school etc!) So in a way, yes. But before this week, nope.

They did until I was married (my husband earned far more than my parents). I got married at 40. My parents gave me the deposit for my first flat (I was mid 20s), help pay for an extension (about £5000) at another house in my 30s and if I was flying to see them at Christmas (they lived in another country) might pay for my plane ticket since my late teens til about 30, and once they treated me and my sisters to a family holiday when we were all over 30. If we ever went out to dinner my parents always paid.
But once I married it seemed silly as we could well afford to pay ourselves, though if me and my mother went out for lunch just the two of us, for example, I think she always paid.
I do have friends whose parents treat the families to holidays abroad or pay their kids school fees. But it's more that if they didn't the family couldn't afford to themselves. But I can't help think it is a bit embarrassing that your parents or in laws pay for your three kids to go to private school for example - that's a fair chunk of cash. I'd only be asking for that kind of help if something like the roof was in desperate need of repair and I just didn't have the money, not for them to pay for something when there's an alternative.

No, maybe a tenner to get the kids icecream if we are going on holiday. I earn more than they ever did so it would feel weird to accept money (if they even had it to give!).

@DaphneduM you sound like the perfect mum/MIL.

Genuinely lovely

In laws gave us a very generous deposit for our house. They have also loaned us money for other things over the years which we have always paid back.

My parents however, no help at all. They just don't have it to give. We have helped them hugely though. Which feels a little weird but there we are!

On a regular basis no. Especially not now I am in my 40s and dad is retired. I almost certainly have more disposable cash than him although he might have more assets.

If we go out together he might buy the meal or he might get me a present just because he wants to or I might do the same for him. I definitely think his financial responsibility for me is long ended.
I would never ask him for money and I never ever have done since leaving uni.

When I was in my 20s my parents gave us money for our wedding and a house deposit that they had saved up for those purposes. I think 5,000 or so each time or might have been less but not more. These were gifts they freely made we didn't ask. If we went on holiday together I would pay my and my families way with the exception that they paid for a big family holiday for us all as the last one before my mum died for a special memory.
Since I've had kids they give regular 'pocket money' to them for their savings not to me which is the way I think it should be really.

For my own kids I would not want to encourage them to rely on me financially. I think they need to pay their own way as adults so post uni I am not planning on keeping up some regular allowance. If I did then I think I would want it to go in a savings account or even a pension not to pay for credit cards or holidays
I do plan on saving to give them money on getting married/ having kids/ house deposit and I do plan on starting regular savings for any grandkids.

To be honest with care costs the way they are I would encourage dad to keep any money he has not give it to me as I want him to be able to afford great care if he ever needs it and I see first hand at work how having money really makes a difference to quality of care.

My parents gave the kids £20 and me £50 this week. They pay for the kids mobile bills too. My Dad regularly bungs me £50

My DF would buy me a big thing I needed for christmas sometimes like a dryer and he paid for meals out. He was always very generous to DS.

My DM would post the odd £10 each.

I really needed financial support when I was a student but only my DF did.

I pay for meals out, holidays and incidental things for my DS. I will help him as much as I can.

None since I left home. They separated shortly afterwards and don’t have a great financial situation since. Myself and dh find ourselves paying for them rather than the other way around (meals out etc).

They also don’t help a great deal with childcare or anything else although one tries more than the other.

Some of my friends receive a fair amount of financial help. One has had about £100k over the past 10 years and another at least £50k.

Dh’s dm is more generous than my parents and will treat our dc often.

My parents both worked past retirement age but were utterly feckless (DM spent irresponsibly, DF buried his head in the sand) so weren't in a position to be generous with money. I helped/treated them. DF was generous with his time and would help with me with car/DIY stuff.

No, we don't other than than say £100 for Xmas/birthday present from my Dad.
I'd say the vast majority of my friends, whoa re 30s/40s have had and continue to have financial support including weddings paid for and house deposits and cars, and then regularly purchases such as furniture, clothing etc etc

How old are you if you don’t mind me asking?

This thread is from 2021.