Do you still get financial help/treats from your parents?

[littlepieces]

Lots of people I know have everything from bills to holidays paid for by their families. I'm fascinated by this and wondered how common it is? I'm 35 and my parents haven't given me a penny since the day I left home (which is of course totally fine) and they don't really do gifts.

One friend, 32; her parents' paid for her car, the insurance and maintenance when she was at uni, have continued to pay for this throughout her adult life, so she has a mode of transport and can visit them. Quite a few friends in late 20s and 30s still have their phone contracts paid for by parents too.

Another friend, 40, gets her credit card bill paid for by her mum each month, (£30-40) and if she needs furniture or something for her flat, 9 times out of 10 her mum just buys it for her. Her mum also gave her £5,000 to get her bathroom done.

A colleague, 31, (pre pandemic) regularly had holidays paid for by her parents/grandparents because she 'deserved a break', and we're talking big trips to Tanzania, Cuba, Thailand, etc.

No, nothing.

I will help mine with first cars and insurance whilst they remain in education until they enter their career. We will also help them with house deposits as long as it’s still possible to ring fence the deposit by a deed of trust so it’s not taken by a partner etc.

Yup I'm 59 and 84 year-old Dad still picks up the bill in restaurants if he's quick enough! They have done all their inheritance planning now I think but about 8 years ago gave me and my two brothers £40000 each. They still give large Christmas gifts. They have it to give so are happy to do so. We just gave 26 year old DS £25000 towards a deposit and still pay his phone contract. He pays our Netflix. And on it goes. Hopefully in the future he will be able to loan/give to his children or young cousins. We are very lucky. But better to give it than sit on it surely?

This thread reinforces what I knew...that Loads of people get help. Our friends all seem better off than us and I told dh it's because their parents help thdm...It's so alien to him. His mum gives him nothing but has plenty of money. I think it's disgusting. If never watch my own dc struggle if I could help them

Not since I got my first part time job, aged 13.

NO, not so much as a tin of beans. And no emotional support from my dad and minimal from my mum.

@Pebbledashery

I'm not a financial advisor! I'm no expert when it comes to investing at all, my dm left me a small isa when she died so I learned all I could from scratch about it.

In the end I had the confidence to move the investing platform and change her investments. She was quite set in her investment ways and didn't have access to the Internet.

My long search led me back to my dh principles which are to invest in index type funds.

Eg buy the ftse 100 which means you buy a little of each company in it.. If a company isn't performing well, eg marks and Spencer it will drop out of the index.. Meaning it's self cleansing, companies that fail drop out.

The US similar one the s & p 500 has done incredibly well driven by the tech shares eg tesla, amazon, apple.
If you buy into the most innovative market in the world you will also buy a little of these stocks and plenty more again rather than soley buying into one company, if you buy into the index if one company fails it falls out.

Vanguard funds are very good for this. Buying a little of everything. As a base line over several decades you can roughly expect 10% return.

My dc nationwide isa at its top rate was 3% per annum now fallen to 1%.

Their stocks and shares isa.. Invested in mainly the index type funds mentioned above has averaged... 20 - 30 %
That's even after the covid dip.

Sorry for this hugely long essay but if you want to grow your money for your dd I'd advise doing the cash isa bit also opening up a stocks and shares junior isa.. And investing for them.

Nb stocks and shares you can get less that what you put in.

My kids know they can ask for help and I'll give it.
Both have had cars given to them.
I think it's pretty even.
When I die they'll both be set up well for a good long time. I hope they'll never fight about money.

No, it would be very weird given that we make about at much as my parents! I think the last time they helped us out I was about 23 and I'm almost 31 now. I received some financial support through university though, which I'm greatful for as it helped me stand on my own feet financially in the long run.

Nope.

Not so much as a penny for birthdays or Christmas.

Wow.

I had no idea people lived like this!

If I were struggling –as in really struggling –I know I could ask my dad for money. But I'd tighten my own belt as far as I could before I got to that point.

And things like a brand new car or a fancy holiday? I can't imagine accepting money from my father for something like that if he offered off his own steam, let alone asking for it.

I'm pretty sure if he had that kind of cash to spare he'd be more likely to quietly invest it in stocks for my future rather than buying 'stuff' for me now.

But that's leftover mentality from my grandparents –Jewish Holocaust survivors who tended to be squirrelers rather than splurgers. "You always want a good chunk of something hidden away, preferably offshore, in case you have to run", as my grandad used to say. One of the saddest things I've ever heard –and yet still absolutely a rule I live by.

Each to their own, but I'd be embarrassed if my parents were giving me a monthly allowance as grown adult.

No definitely not

I get £20 for my birthday and similar for my Christmas plus perfume / pjs etc.

I’ve never had cash handouts ever , no money transfers or gifts
No house deposit
No cars being bought or paid for etc

I’ve paid my own way for everything since I moved out at 19.

My parents are lovely and we have a great relationship but they just don’t give me money.

My sister and I have had all education paid for-up to PhD level, lived rent free for years (in a flat my parents owned), and a large enough lump sum to buy a property outright. Now that we are all older they are generous at birthdays etc but don’t dole out large sums. They’d like to help my kids pay for uni though.

We have been incredibly lucky. They very much take the attitude that they can’t take it with them and we benefit more now than in the future.

@penguinwithasuitcase sadly to live in a Jewish area in London like Golders Green, Hendon or Finchley these days, it often needs family help. Many people we knew helped their kids out so they could stay locally and near parents. After all, it's either north London, borehamwood or Manchester and not much else if you want Jewish community/amenities. We only managed to buy near my mother in law cos we stayed with her rent free for 3 years (and it is within the eruv so she can walk over on Saturday). My husband's family is not rich and his sisters are not willing to stay at the family home for years to save a deposit so now they have moved/in the process of moving to Israel where they will get Aliyah monies to get started and rent is slightly cheaper than London.

Yes I'm 28 and get help from Mum with items/building work for house. I really appreciate it and know I'm very lucky.

I've been very lucky, my parents and grandmother and in-laws are/were very generous. I had my rent and books paid for at uni, a decent car bought for me in my early 20s, £15k towards a London flat deposit to supplement redundancy monies, £10k towards our wedding and recently new carpets, tv, windows and boilers paid for as well as holidays, which my mum and dad paid for and joined us on (or I joined them!). Dad was always first to the bar and was surprised and delighted if someone beat him to it fuck, I miss him so much!
We're aiming to skip a generation with inheritance in our family so grandkids benefit at a more crucial time in their lives rather than when they're in their late middle age (hopefully) and already financially secure.

@penguinwithasuitcase it's terrible your grandparents were forced to have that mentality.

My parents are dead. PIL are pretty well off but stockpile it and give us nothing. They pay for SIL wedding and a £10 k house deposit, but same for DH? No.
FIL says he has more money coming in now than when he was working and he's been retired almost 30 years.
DS1 got a £30 cheque for his 18th birthday. I get £20 for mine. Small family.

Little bits and pieces here and there from my grandmother.

For example, I have bought teabags and toilet roll only a handful of times myself in the last 10 years.

I didn't. My mum was always skint and it was me bailing her out and giving her money. Never got a single penny from either of my parents. I don't resent it. It was just the way it was.

@Pebbledashery

Each to their own, but I'd be embarrassed if my parents were giving me a monthly allowance as grown adult.

I agree. I think that's really weird.

My dad gives me money all the time so I can treat the kids. Transfers money so I can book holidays, buy a car. I care full time for his mum so am restricted with my own working ability he helps me by helping me buy my kids Xmas and birthday presents, parties, swimming lessons etc. Very lucky and very grateful

My mum isn't in a financial position to help as she is living on a state pension, which is fine - it works the other way (e.g if we go out for a meal we pay for mum).
DH's parents have supported us considerably over the years as they are wealthy and paranoid about losing everything to inheritance tax. They have gifted us money towards house renovations, a new car and our house purchase. They wouldn't just pay for credit card bills or phone contracts though. I do realise how fortunate we are although they are quite tucked up as a family and in some ways it's payback for Dh's mental health issues and lack of earning potential as a result...

My mum doesn’t help us out and I wouldn’t ask or accept it, I’m an adult who can stand on my own two feet and earn money for my own family.

I’d be mortified if my mum regularly gave me money,. I’d much rather she spent her own money on herself and treated herself rather than hand it to us to spend.

No, have supported myself since I was 16. Was lent money once which was paid back but have never been given anything.

We have friends who's parents pay for holidays to florida and the carribean, who pay for all kids clothes and school uniform and have done very year even though eldest is now 18.

I've often thought I might be nice but would feel so odd to be given money or something so extravagant.