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Original poster

Tell me honestly, is my son really annoying?

321 replies

letsleepingbabieslie · 06/09/2021 18:15

DS(9) loves talking to adults. He'll tell people his thoughts about stuff, what he's been doing, a book he's reading, his favourite food, ... whatever. I find it precocious and embarassing when he does it with strangers, and really annoying when I want to catch up with a friend and he's chattering away to them. I imagine they must be as bored as I am and am constantly mouthing 'sorry!'.
Be honest, is this as annoying to other people as I think it is, or am I over-reacting?

OP posts:
BeardyButton · 06/09/2021 21:41

Jesus. Never fails to surprise me how child unfriendly mn (and actually the uk) is. It’s vile!

Heaven forbid a child should be seen and heard!

Op I love a confident articulate child. I love talking to my friends kids. I like it when they talk to me. A kid who can talk to adults as well as kids their own age - really lovely.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 06/09/2021 21:43

In my previous job I had a regular come in with her little boy, probably about 8 or 9 he was like chatting to a little adult, so well spoken and polite and we always had a good chat. I enjoyed talking to him, it wasn't annoying at all. I like children who can hold a conversation.

Bobmonkfish · 06/09/2021 21:43

I used to talk to all my parents' friends at dinner parties. They were really nice to me and chatted back. I had a bedtime, when I was expected to disappear, though. I still enjoy catching up with them at family events. People must have been more tolerant in the 80s!

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Mary1Mary · 06/09/2021 21:44

really annoying when I want to catch up with a friend and he's chattering away to them. I imagine they must be as bored as I am and am constantly mouthing 'sorry!'

You're not being fair to your friends, or him, by allowing this. Teach him appropriate social skills because it's actually not ok for him to monopolise your time with your friends and to centre himself. I've no idea why you are indulging what is actually rude inappropriate behaviour from him. It's not kind to him at all.

There will be a lot less tolerance for this as he gets older. I avoid friends who allow their children to do this.

Does he monopolise dads time with his friends too? Does he chat with male strangers or just women? My friends son is like this but there is a clear difference between how he treats men and women.

I suspect my friends son at the tender age of 8 already feels entitled to women's time and attention.

Plumtree391 · 06/09/2021 21:48

He sounds good.

I understand you want an uninterrupted chat with your friend, op, but surely you could say that in advance. You son is old enough to take that on board. After all, it's not every day. Other than that I wouldn't worry.

ducks:

"DS proceeded to tell him all about what would happen if the train de-railed and bodies would be flying out of the train. And he hoped everyone perished quickly because it must be painful."

That made me laugh. It is actually quite typical, especially of some boys. They go into every gory detail. It's just a phase, funny when you look back. If the man had any children, he would have recognised it for what it is. Did you ever watch, 'Outnumbered'? The youngest son, Ben, was like that. He was hilarious.

PlanetTeaTime · 06/09/2021 21:49

Does he have a conversation with them OP? Or does he just talk at people?

If it's the former, there's nothing wrong with that and if it's the latter he just needs more time to hone his social skills.

Some of the comments on this thread are quite horrible.

Nannewnannew · 06/09/2021 21:49

Like others, I would be happy to chat to your son for quite a while but I couldn’t cope if it went on for too long, especially if he was talking at me rather than to me. Does he allow others to get a word in edge ways?
I ask this because an ex colleague will totally dominate the conversation when we meet up for coffee or lunch and I find it rude and draining, I often wonder if she was like this as a child?

PorridgeLove · 06/09/2021 21:49

YANBU. Anyone remember "Alyssa" from last week?
I am glad you are aware that not everyone wants to listen to your DC's chatter.
Anyway, my DCs are younger and older DC is currently learning that it is not ok to insert themselves into other people's conversations. However, if you bring your little chatterbox with you, you might want to make sure that he brings a book or something. I am sure he would love the positive attention of "ah, you are such a smart kid, reading your book the whole time." Wink

1AngelicFruitCake · 06/09/2021 21:50

@DucksFlyTogether

1AngelicFeuitCake mine is like that kid from outnumbered "Ben" sometimes. He makes me cringe and sigh with exhaustion most days 😂

Skeleton relative sounds perfect for a Halloween party though 😂

Love outnumbered! The skeleton comment was accompanied with ‘so your dads dead?’ 😱 luckily she was 3 and has learnt since then!
WheelieBinPrincess · 06/09/2021 21:50

@PorridgeLove yeah, except ‘Alyssa’ was a work of fiction 😂

LukeEvansWife · 06/09/2021 21:52

yeah, except ‘Alyssa’ was a work of fiction😂

WTF??? Was that a troll thread?

PorridgeLove · 06/09/2021 21:53

[quote WheelieBinPrincess]@PorridgeLove yeah, except ‘Alyssa’ was a work of fiction 😂[/quote]
True. But most people agreed that she would be really annoying and should be, ahem, quieted.

WheelieBinPrincess · 06/09/2021 21:56

@LukeEvansWife yes it was.

Justmuddlingalong · 06/09/2021 22:00

Alyssa was a figment of a troll's imagination. And yet was easily "recognised" by a lot of posters.

frumpety · 06/09/2021 22:11

Being bored by what someone says is not age specific.

TableFlowerss · 06/09/2021 22:23

That’s when you should jump in and say ‘Right chatterbox Charlie, you go and play now, so and so is here to chat to me as well. Off you trot’

Wheelz46 · 06/09/2021 22:32

It honestly does not bother me at all, l will happily engage in conversation with a child. This may stem from my own child's insecurities, he has selective mutism so If he did engage in talking to someone, I would feel awful telling him to stop chattering when we are trying to work on his communication.

We haven't got there with his communication yet but if we did and I told him to stop, I would imagine it would be a massive step back. So although I would embrace a child having a conversation with me, I do know others who it annoys.

HeidiHaus · 06/09/2021 22:34

How does he relate to his peers, OP?
I work with children of a similar age; it's quite unusual behaviour and i would love chatting with him but I would also be aware that there could very well be a neurodiversity - I have met many autistic children who present similarly. I'm not suggesting this is the case for your son.
However, the fact that so many on this thread have leapt to 'annoying' 'irritating' 'rude' 'precocious' shows very clearly why so many autistic children are still routinely avoided and excluded.
Having said that your son could be taught (whether ND or not) that it's ok to chat for a little while but that he must stop and do something else when asked.

over2021 · 06/09/2021 22:36

This is the most British, 'mumsnetty', thread I've read in ages.

Children should be seen and not heard OP Grin

GreyhoundG1rl · 06/09/2021 22:40

@over2021

This is the most British, 'mumsnetty', thread I've read in ages.

Children should be seen and not heard OP Grin

You've completely missed the point. Bless.
Bobmonkfish · 07/09/2021 00:08

How, Greyhound?

Whatiswrongwithmyknee · 07/09/2021 07:53

I don't think you need to tell him to 'shut up'. Just tell him that you are talking about X now rather than whatever topic he is trying to introduce. I would also find his talking highly irritating but would probably be more irritated by your mouthing 'sorry' rather than doing anything about it. Can there be 10 minutes for him and then the rest of the time adult talk?

olympicsrock · 07/09/2021 08:13

Initially sweet - I am happy to chat to a polite chatty child. The adult can then finish the conversation when they have had enough.

LukeEvansWife · 07/09/2021 08:26

DS proceeded to tell him all about what would happen if the train de-railed and bodies would be flying out of the train. And he hoped everyone perished quickly because it must be painful.

This is why I would suggest that you don’t allow your children to speak to strangers unless you get the cue that it’s fine.

There was a thread yesterday from an OP who was having really bad anxiety about being on there and ended up curtailing her journey halfway through.

If your child starts that kind of conversation with a stranger, please don’t let them continue. I know you spoke to your DS afterwards but it sounds like he had gone into quite a bit of detail. That could potentially have upset the man or in fact anyone overhearing

SeriouslyISuppose · 07/09/2021 08:30

@LukeEvansWife

DS proceeded to tell him all about what would happen if the train de-railed and bodies would be flying out of the train. And he hoped everyone perished quickly because it must be painful.

This is why I would suggest that you don’t allow your children to speak to strangers unless you get the cue that it’s fine.

There was a thread yesterday from an OP who was having really bad anxiety about being on there and ended up curtailing her journey halfway through.

If your child starts that kind of conversation with a stranger, please don’t let them continue. I know you spoke to your DS afterwards but it sounds like he had gone into quite a bit of detail. That could potentially have upset the man or in fact anyone overhearing

Yeah, gag your child in case they encounter someone with a specific phobia your child happens to trigger. Hmm