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Original poster

Tell me honestly, is my son really annoying?

321 replies

letsleepingbabieslie · 06/09/2021 18:15

DS(9) loves talking to adults. He'll tell people his thoughts about stuff, what he's been doing, a book he's reading, his favourite food, ... whatever. I find it precocious and embarassing when he does it with strangers, and really annoying when I want to catch up with a friend and he's chattering away to them. I imagine they must be as bored as I am and am constantly mouthing 'sorry!'.
Be honest, is this as annoying to other people as I think it is, or am I over-reacting?

OP posts:
1AngelicFruitCake · 06/09/2021 21:17

@DucksFlyTogether

At least yours has conversations. Mine aged 7 is obsessed with doom and gloom.

Once sat on a train on a table seat and a man came and sat at the table too. No problem the seat was empty.

DS proceeded to tell him all about what would happen if the train de-railed and bodies would be flying out of the train. And he hoped everyone perished quickly because it must be painful. I kept going "shush, that's enough, I don't want to hear it, please stop" the poor stranger moved seats with a pale look about him 😳

Sorry but you should have stopped him! It sounds like you were begging and the stranger had to put up with it! I find that really unfair that you allowed your 7 year old (old enough to know better) to speak like that to someone. You have no idea what’s going on in their life and they had to listen to your child talk about death. Time to talk to your child about appropriateness!
stillvicarinatutu · 06/09/2021 21:18

My god you're all so mean !
My friends 14 year old
Often chats to me and we actually disappear I to the kitchen. For more privacy! Let the little lad tell you what he's into ! And if You and your friends do t want to talk to him arrange a date when he is t there! God almighty.

BlackSwan · 06/09/2021 21:18

I find children with nothing to say a disappointment. As long as they’re part of a conversation not dominating it that’s great.
It’s a kind of ageism to ignore children or expect them to keep to themselves.

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Justmuddlingalong · 06/09/2021 21:20

My god you're all so mean!
Oh, so you're allowed an opinion and those you disagree with aren't. How bizarre. 🤔

Thursa · 06/09/2021 21:21

Years ago, when our boys were young we finally managed an evening out without them. Off we went to a restaurant to enjoy our meal in peace. When we got there, there was another couple with a 5/6 year old child. Almost as soon as we sat down the child came over to our table. No amount of “I think mummy and daddy want you back at the table” worked. And at one point mummy heard and called across “no, she’s alright”! They had a nice quiet meal and we entertained their child.

LukeEvansWife · 06/09/2021 21:21

My god you're all so mean !

So it’s okay for a kid to bother a stranger then? And if they do that, presumably it’s okay for the stranger to politely tell them to bugger off?

Moonface123 · 06/09/2021 21:22

Good point regarding is he an only child?
Because my friends daughter has always carried on like this, and still does at age 20, and l do find it really annoying.

DucksFlyTogether · 06/09/2021 21:23

Yes don't worry he was practically dragged to the train carriage toilet and told off (I didn't smack him) straight afterwards.

He hasn't done it since. Thankfully.

GTAlogic · 06/09/2021 21:24

My dc is like this too. He has adhd and autism so often struggles to stop or to avoid interrupting and sometimes he will butt in with something random and that has nothing to do with the conversation being had. When this happens I tell him that it's rude to interrupt in that way and that my friend or I was talking and he must wait his turn if he has something relevant to say.

If he has a shared interest with a visiting friend then I often just let him carry on because he can and does have proper, 2 way conversations with them. I don't let him take over the visit though and do tell him to bugger off after a while.

He won't talk at strangers though unless they talk to him first.

HailAdrian · 06/09/2021 21:25

@caughtinanet huh? Are you ok? Not sure what you're on about tbh.

Anyway, if you find kids so very unbearable, don't put yourselves in situations where you might have to interact with them. They do have as much right to be there as you, after all. I think some people just love an excuse for a little rant though. Too much negativity can also be a drainer! :)

1AngelicFruitCake · 06/09/2021 21:25

@DucksFlyTogether

Yes don't worry he was practically dragged to the train carriage toilet and told off (I didn't smack him) straight afterwards.

He hasn't done it since. Thankfully.

Fair enough!😁 Train derailments! Children are so weird! One of mine cheerfully talks about a relative who ‘must now be a skeleton’🤔😁
marmaladehound · 06/09/2021 21:27

I love it when kids chat to me. Far preferable than the alternative which is either painfully shy which is not a problem but I fine awkward or just grumpy and rude!

However he obviously needs to learn when there's a time and place to chat to people and about 2 way conversations rather than just talking at people, which some kids do. Have you actually ever spoken to him about it?

My daughter is very chatty but I have had to tell her that sometimes it's too much for some people. At 8 she is much better at reading the situation, well more often than when she was younger anyway! But I did need to have quite a few chats with her.

MurielsWedding · 06/09/2021 21:27

My god you're all so mean!
Talking with a friends fourteen year old is in no way comparable to the situation the OP is describing.

And even if it was, it isn't 'mean' to not want to listen to a child talking about their favourite food.

TacoSunday · 06/09/2021 21:28

When I first read this I was slightly jealous. My kid is a clam if a stranger (or anyone he doesn’t know well) talks to him. He can barely look at them and I end up answering for him to put an end to the awkward long pause after he is asked something.

Now I’ve read the comments I realise it’s no bad thing that the conversation is over very quickly Grin

grannybiker · 06/09/2021 21:29

Our grandson used to do this until a couple of years ago, but only about a few select subjects. He has built up a wider variety of chat starters now, but all those descriptions of Minecraft building were awful!
Fast Forward another couple of years and when he emerges from his darkened room he can be very entertaining...
He's now 15 with an official diagnosis of Autism

Grimbelina · 06/09/2021 21:29

It's actually mean not to teach your child social cues and model how to behave.

JennetHumfrye · 06/09/2021 21:30

Yes it is annoying. I say this as someone that was very irritating/precocious as a child. I cringe when I recall how I used to chat to adults. Don't worry too much as we grow out of it!

lannistunut · 06/09/2021 21:30

He's only nine.

I think more parents are worrying their kids are monosyllabic than talkative.

If he is still doing it at twelve, then yes you have a problem.

I like enthusiastic and clever kids, personally. So no need to apologise to me if he goes on a bit.

HailAdrian · 06/09/2021 21:31

At least OP's DS sounds interesting, comments here seem to all be from the same poster!

grannybiker · 06/09/2021 21:32

@grannybiker

Our grandson used to do this until a couple of years ago, but only about a few select subjects. He has built up a wider variety of chat starters now, but all those descriptions of Minecraft building were awful! Fast Forward another couple of years and when he emerges from his darkened room he can be very entertaining... He's now 15 with an official diagnosis of Autism
Not saying your son does, but it sounds as if some work is needed n social boundaries xx
FortunesFave · 06/09/2021 21:33

I actually love kids like this. I know the general rule of thumb is that they're thought precocious but that's who they are and as they're a rarity more than the general....I think they're funny and interesting.

I always talk to them and enjoy hearing what they say. I went to a boring art exhibition once and all the adults were dreary...my DD however met a kid and she was like your son...and I stood chatting to her and DD for a while and it was the best part of the bloody day,

GreyhoundG1rl · 06/09/2021 21:33

@HailAdrian

At least OP's DS sounds interesting, comments here seem to all be from the same poster!
Or some people agree 🤔
ddl1 · 06/09/2021 21:35

I wouldn't find it annoying - I enjoy interacting with children. However, if he constantly interrupts other people's conversations, that is impolite and at 9, he should be beginning to realize this.

thesussedguilders · 06/09/2021 21:36

I wouldn't mind, I like kids and enjoy talking to them. However, if the person they are talking too is glazing over and not engaging it's time to step in. Not mouth sorry, actively redirect them to do something else.

DucksFlyTogether · 06/09/2021 21:40

1AngelicFeuitCake mine is like that kid from outnumbered "Ben" sometimes. He makes me cringe and sigh with exhaustion most days 😂

Skeleton relative sounds perfect for a Halloween party though 😂

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