Giving friends sibling a lift to secondary school. Would you do this?

[Coolter272]

DS is in year 8, his best friend lives in the street behind us. I'm friends with his mum. He has a sister who has just started year 7.

Last year, the boys did a mixture of walking and having lifts by both of us. The last couple of months DH shifts changed and he routinely gave DS and his friend a lift to school. We have to drive past their street anyway.

The mum has now asked if we would pick the sister up on the way past too. I'm not sure I want to start this but I don't really know why. How would you feel about it?

(I know I'll get replies saying they should make their own way to school but it's a long walk and DS had a pretty horrible experience last year. Giving him a lift suits us all much better)

mallowvalley thankyou.

Well done, OP.

Good response OP.

I hope the boy walks with his sister during the first few weeks.

From a Safeguarding perspective, I think it is better to take several children in the car. At least if you DS is in the car too, you are not alone with another person's child. Make sure that they sit in the back too - unless they are a danger to each other.

MakeMathsFun

From a Safeguarding perspective, I think it is better to take several children in the car. At least if you DS is in the car too, you are not alone with another person's child. Make sure that they sit in the back too - unless they are a danger to each other

Why would OP's DS not be in the car?
The other boy is only in the car when getting a lift with DS. Despite what the boy's parents think, OP & OP's DH are not actually running a school transfer service!

All the posters trying to make the other families children the ops responsibility amazes me. Just say you are not taking the child. Not your child nor your problem. The parents need to take responsibility for getting the daughter too school and not make it your issue. I wouldn't have wanted by younger sibling tagging with my mates dad when we got a lift and vice versa when he got a lift with his friend.

When I was a child, it was common for parents to alternate taking each others children to school. It was irrelevant if one parent had to deliver more siblings than the other. Its about helping each other out. If you leave one kid behind, then your taking of just one is as useless as not taking any. Its no skin off the driver's back if there is one more child in the car. It is not for the children to dictate who travels with whom. If they took a bus, they would all be together. Surely the older child would want to be kind to their younger sibling? If their mates have a problem with decent care and consideration for others, then they are not true friends.

So funny, how people are trying to FORCE someone to become a free taxi service.
OP is 100% right not to agree to signing her DP up to this unwanted job.

Everyone demanding that the other family do at least half the trips - have you read the bit where it was explained that OP's DS had a bad time, so that having company was really helpful for him?

Everyone asking whether the other family have ever said thank you for the lifts, do you also wonder how often OP has thanked the boy / his family for keeping her DS company at this difficult time.

I tend to over thank people, but let's look at the whole picture. I'm glad the situation has been resolved with no drama, that is always a win in my book.

If you are taking the son anyway, then taking another sibling costs no more time or effort. To think otherwise would be pure selfishness.

MakeMathsFun

If you are taking the son anyway, then taking another sibling costs no more time or effort. To think otherwise would be pure selfishness

Wait. What??!
So, the OP & her DH are the selfish ones? Not the PARENTS OF THE 2 CHILDREN WHO CAN'T BE ARSED TO GET THEIR OWN CHILDREN TO SCHOOL? THE PARENTS THAT HAVE NEVER OFFERED TO RECIPROCATE OR TAKE IT IN TURNS? THE PARENTS THAT HAVE NEVER OFFERED ANY PETROL MONEY OR A THANK YOU?

You're being ridiculous!

@SmokyLittleBeefBath

MakeMathsFun

If you are taking the son anyway, then taking another sibling costs no more time or effort. To think otherwise would be pure selfishness

Wait. What??!
So, the OP & her DH are the selfish ones? Not the PARENTS OF THE 2 CHILDREN WHO CAN'T BE ARSED TO GET THEIR OWN CHILDREN TO SCHOOL? THE PARENTS THAT HAVE NEVER OFFERED TO RECIPROCATE OR TAKE IT IN TURNS? THE PARENTS THAT HAVE NEVER OFFERED ANY PETROL MONEY OR A THANK YOU?

You're being ridiculous!

Aha..!. I misunderstood "having lifts by both of us" to mean that both parents of A and B gave lifts. Language is a tricky thing.

Was anyone else tripped by this subtle ambiguity?

Your message to the Mum was good and I think you made the right decision. Can't believe some of the rude messages on here.

Hi, I'm after some other mums views. My sons are currently year 5 and 6 and I drop them to school on a nearby road, they have been walking to school on their own to and from our car, but they will not walk together at all which makes me feel quite sad and confused as they are constantly together at home and very close. Any ideas as to why this might be the case? I think it's the older one who prefers to be independent and when at school being with his "mates" is more important. But for him to not want to be seen with his brother to even walk into school concerns me a little and I think bad for my younger son as I'm sure he'd happily walk with his brother. When I've spoken about it to them, the older says its because the younger one walks slow! I'm not sure if I'm worrying over nothing but this bothers me, especially as they are both about to move onto secondary school. Am I worrying over nothing? Thanks

*Aha..!. I misunderstood "having lifts by both of us" to mean that both parents of A and B gave lifts. Language is a tricky thing.

Was anyone else tripped by this subtle ambiguity?*

Even though you had six months to digest the information ?

And another zombie 🧟‍♀️ thread @MNHQ