Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

This is really fucking awkward.

272 replies

LordOfTheThings · 31/08/2021 09:58

I've discovered a relationship between two work colleagues. She is widowed and he is married and I really wish I didn't fucking know anything about it. She is head of my department and I have regular meetings etc. Why do I feel embarrassed when it's not be doing anything wrong? This is excruciating.

OP posts:
icelollycraving · 31/08/2021 10:01

Why are you embarrassed? Do you know his wife? Did you catch them?

thisplaceisweird · 31/08/2021 10:01

Grow up!

None of your business, just do your job and be professional

annacondom · 31/08/2021 10:03

Do they know you know? How do you "know"? But whatever, nose out and ignore.

MooBoom · 31/08/2021 10:11

Not sure why you’re embarrassed, you’re not in the relationship

FilledSoda · 31/08/2021 10:17

It's nothing to do with you , why are you so focused on it?
Seriously put it out of your head,

JennaPenna · 31/08/2021 10:22

Happens all the time.
Ignore it.

smallandimperfectlyformed · 31/08/2021 10:22

You have my utmost sympathy. I would find it very difficult knowing such personal information about people, especially if it was a relationship that was going to hurt other people.

AnneLovesGilbert · 31/08/2021 10:23

Not a clue why you’re embarrassed. You’re not shagging either of them. Go to work, do the work, attend the meetings, go home and forget all about them.

Marmite27 · 31/08/2021 10:23

It’s hideous isn’t it.

In our team of 5 two married to other people got together. I hated it. It’s a large part of why I’m staying working at home!

Bluey18 · 31/08/2021 10:24

I disagree with PP. It is a bit embarrassing and shit to be put in that position, they can't have been too discreet if you found out. Unfortunately you just have to carry on like normal as best you can. Similar happened me in a job years ago, I walked in on them one day. It went on for months before he left his wife and then, oh my gosh, they just suddenly realised they were meant for one another and moved in together 🙄. I never mentioned it to anyone (I was the youngest employee by a mile
and hated it there but I was poor and desperately needed the job) but apparently it was common knowledge the whole time.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 31/08/2021 10:25

Unless they are inviting you to watch you have nothing to be embarrassed about.

People shag all the time , do you feel awkward and embarrassed around married couples?

Just forget about it, it will likely be short lived.

LegendaryReady · 31/08/2021 10:26

Just accept that life's complicated, no one has a clue what's going on in others' lives and it's none of your business.

SummerHouse · 31/08/2021 10:27

This is grim. Shame on them for putting you in this position. Rise above and ignore.

Have you tried a nice long walk to clear your mind?? Grin Told you I would be annoying.

SusannahSophia · 31/08/2021 10:53

I’d find that really difficult. I didn’t give a fig when I was younger, but one divorce later and I’d really struggle to deal with that sort of thing now.

godmum56 · 31/08/2021 10:56

This happened to my DH. He acted up for his manager when the manager went on hols and the stupid twat had used his @< businessname> email for explicit emails and replies and not deleted them. DH had to access the account as it sat with the job and not with the person. He was furious at the arrogance of it.

BarkingUpTheWrongRoseBush · 31/08/2021 10:59

Ignore it, you don't know what's going on in their lives. It happens all the time.

DerAlteMann · 31/08/2021 11:04

What's worrying you? The relationship or the fact he's married? If the former, you'll just have to live with it. If the latter how do you know: (a) that his wife doesn't already know, (b) that his wife might not actually care if should she find out or (c) that his wife is faithful to him anyway? Forget it.

dworky · 31/08/2021 11:17

Yes, it puts you in an awkward position.
In your shoes I would be seeking a way to ensure his wife knows.

LimitIsUp · 31/08/2021 11:20

Don't dwell on it

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 31/08/2021 11:29

@thisplaceisweird

What's with the aggression. Are you the women he's shagging.

What has growing up got to do with being concerned. Where has op said she's not going to do her job. Did I miss something.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 31/08/2021 11:33

They're both an absolute disgrace. Him for obvious reasons. Her for sleeping with another women's husband after she's suffered the loss of her husband. Surely if anyone knows what heart ache is its her.

Reloxa · 31/08/2021 11:35

How is it awkward or embarrassing, unless they are making eyes at each other and playing footsie in front of you? Get on with your life and your job and stop judging.

SpanielRadcliffe · 31/08/2021 11:40

How do you know for sure that it's a sexual and/or romantic relationship? If your company has a non-fraternisation policy and you as a bystander are required to report, I'd be very sure you have proof before going ahead. Otherwise, it's probably best just to ignore it. "Excruciating" seems a bit overdramatic, unless there's more to the story and your involvement.

MintyCedric · 31/08/2021 11:43

@LegendaryReady

Just accept that life's complicated, no one has a clue what's going on in others' lives and it's none of your business.
This 100%
BoredZelda · 31/08/2021 11:47

It’s only awkward if you make it so.