This is really fucking awkward.

[LordOfTheThings]

I've discovered a relationship between two work colleagues. She is widowed and he is married and I really wish I didn't fucking know anything about it. She is head of my department and I have regular meetings etc. Why do I feel embarrassed when it's not be doing anything wrong? This is excruciating.

@XingMing

It. Is. Not. Your. Business.

They Have Made It Her Business.

@XingMing

It. Is. Not. Your. Business.

She saw a colleague with body parts inside another colleagues body. In a cupboard. On work property. In a school. In work hours.

They kind of made it her business!!

I must have missed that bit... but I still don't think it is the business of anyone except the three people involved first hand.

Ewwww, I remember at school once a teacher came running into our class and she threw a suitcase at the teacher and everything fell out and it was all his stuff and she was so mad at him, shouting it's over ITS OVER. It was thee best scene ever and gave all of us a good gossip forever.

As an adult I can see all sorts of wrong though because they were both married and definitely not to each other.

Anyway I don't think you have to be embarrassed. I'd call them out on it and say it's seriously inappropriate with massive look down upon eyes, but if personally leave it at that because I cba with either people's drama.

@XingMing

I must have missed that bit... but I still don't think it is the business of anyone except the three people involved first hand.

Or fingers 😬

lynn

We went through all of this with Bill Clinton

Interesting take, though I suppose a gluestick would be more effective than a cigar

[quote JaffavsCookie]**@daisychain01* of course this won’t immediately lead to OP being sacked. However it could very easily lead to spot observations being graded ri or unsatisfactory, and then leading onto competency proceedings, it could lead to the OP being shafted for cover, or over next years timetable in the hope they leave. There are lots of ways HoD can get rid of staff without overtly* breaking employment law.[/quote]
You're just speculating, whatifery, what might/could happen.

I'm talking fact, process, policy and law.

I’m talking fact, seen it happen, etc etc.
Policy, process and law are not, and have never been the exclusive way of carrying out options.

I've been reading all of your comments and advice and I did email myself from my work email to my personal email last night. I'm actually feeling quite angry about it this morning. What they choose to do, how they live their lives etc is not my business but doing something like this at school changes things. I do care that they did this at school and now I'm left worrying what the ramifications may be for me when I actually haven't done anything wrong.

Without saying too much, my HOD is a bully. She has form for it and frequently has favourites/victims and very much operates that kind of mentality. So many staff have left because of her. I've managed to stay under her radar up til now, but I don't know which way this could go and I don't want to be either one of her victims or her favourite.

I've decided to speak to a senior member of staff that I trust implicitly and I am 100% certain that they will do nothing with the information if I don't want them too. My HOD and the Head are cut from the same cloth so I don't feel I can go to the Head.

If I'm honest, this is not about them in the cupboard anymore, this is about selfishly protecting my own interests. I know that sounds awful and some of you will be appalled but that's how I feel. They can do what the hell they like but I feel like I've been brought into it because of their actions.

I'll probably leave this thread now, I'm feeling pretty stressed and not sure I can deal with being told how awful I am, but thank you to everyone who took the time to post their thoughts.

Sending good thoughts OP - it’s really shit being forced into other people’s situations through no fault of your own.

If I'm honest, this is not about them in the cupboard anymore, this is about selfishly protecting my own interests. I know that sounds awful and some of you will be appalled but that's how I feel. They can do what the hell they like but I feel like I've been brought into it because of their actions.

I think it’s completely understandable you feel this way. With the dynamics you have described with your HOD and Head, I’d be looking out for myself too. I hope the person you are going to speak to is helpful. I feel angry for you, that their selfish actions are causing you so much stress. Best Wishes.

I don't think it's at all selfish to want to protect your own interests, especially given your HoD's character. (I already posted upthread if it was me I'd be worried about being pushed out.)

Talking to someone you trust about your concerns is wise. Good luck.

I’m glad you are taking measures to protect yourself, OP, and I’m sorry that you’ve had such downright weird and shitty responses. Good luck.

Very sensible OP. They have put you in a very difficult position and you have done nothing wrong.

Sounds like a very good idea to me.

Some of the replies on here have been weird, I would be feeling just as discombobulated as you by this.

Sad world we live in,very sad.Why are people so vile?
Favourites? Sickening.

I think you're doing absolutely the right thing OP.

Not selfish at all to protect your livelihood, it's sensible and fair.

She sounds like a right prick having favourites and bullying other people.

What a shit role model for the kids she teaches 😞

That should say sensibly protecting your own interests , no hate here.

Absolutely protect your own interests, @LordOfTheThings you have done nothing wrong - you certainly aren't awful and it is understandable you're shocked at what you unknowingly walked in on, that has no place in a school, no matter how people may have tried to turn it into a joke. It isn't funny for you going through it,

If you have any specific concerns regarding your employment position, do consult with your Union, ACAS, an employment lawyer and you're welcome to start a specific thread on employment issues. You can conceal any details that you don't feel comfortable discussing, but if you have concerns that they will bully you out of your job, there is definitely recourse you can take against retaliation. They will do well not to force you into playing hard-ball, you have the upper hand.

Take care and try to put it behind you if possible.

Nope, you are doing the right thing. You’ve done nothing wrong here apart from walking into a cupboard in YOUR WORKPLACE and discovering the pair of them in a compromising position. Given your Hod’s nature, I think you’re being very wise. It’s not selfish/wrong to protect yourself.

@LordOfTheThings how did it go today?