Weirdest thing someone's said to you just after sex...?

[Alcemeg]

Out of sympathy for the traumatised @Sanddown, I thought I'd share the weirdest thing someone said to me after sex.

After my divorce, I was seduced by a gorgeous guy. It was just like that Brad Pitt scene in Thelma and Louise.

When I woke the next morning, I heard him say, "You're SO beautiful," and I opened my eyes in surprise... to see him -- LOOKING IN THE MIRROR 🤨

It turned out to be a bit of a clue as to how the next 6 years would go, but at the time I was grateful anyway 😋

He said "I knew you'd do it in the end" after pestering me for sex for hours on a 2nd date, Prick.
I never did it again with him or anyone I didn't have a real connection with after that.

Sorry but this one got me🤣🤣🤣🤣

Damn mine was meant to be a reply to the stevie wonder comment🙈

“Thank you” with a kiss on the forehead….don’t know why but it made me shudder

"Thank you.. that was nice"

I think the ‘well done’ and head pat post-BJ wins. Did he think he was training a border collie? (um, let’s not go there....).

I had a lovely FWB who could destroy a ‘moment’ with a remark about the weather/having a cup of tea etc. I got used to it.

We're you wearing shades and had a keyboard at the side of the bed @wendywoopywoo222?

After sex "daddy's pleased with you little one"

I ran, didn't walk, very quickly to the taxi rank!

@CovidPassQuestion

We're you wearing shades and had a keyboard at the side of the bed *@wendywoopywoo222*?

I was on too. Apparently waving my head around like Stevie Wonder does when he's playing the piano and singing. 😂

@CovidPassQuestion

We're you wearing shades and had a keyboard at the side of the bed *@wendywoopywoo222*?

Top. That should say top.

Oooh, that’s better

During sex I got asked, in a thick French accent

"Do you feel like a little girl?"

Er, no.

@wendywoopywoo222 that vision has me in tears 😎😎

But god some of these are really creepy!!

Have you not done this for a long time 🙈.

@wendywoopywoo222

When you come you look like Stevie Wonder.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

‘I’ll protect you from the hooded claw, keep the vampire from your door ‘ (lyrics from Frankie goes to Hollywood- power of love’ — and I actually lived with him for 3 years after that—- should have guessed he was a bit of a controlling weirdo just by this.

“You know, you really look so much better in the dark”

Before: "oh go on it'll only take ten minutes"
After: "the next time I see you you'd better have a mattress strapped to your back" and a wink. 🤮

'I want to sing for you..'. Produced an acoustic guitar and preceded to warble at me for an hour whilst I ran out of suitable reactions. He included 'a song from the shows'. I just clapped after a while. Cringey as hell and made me want to leap out the window in horror.

@Crikeyalmighty

‘I’ll protect you from the hooded claw, keep the vampire from your door ‘ (lyrics from Frankie goes to Hollywood- power of love’ — and I actually lived with him for 3 years after that—- should have guessed he was a bit of a controlling weirdo just by this.

Hahahaha this is the best thread ever !

I had absolutely amazing sex after which my partner said “classic intercourse” and offered me a bag of Wotsits. We’re still together ❤️

“Are your boobs real?”

They were a small B cup. I thought, if they were fake, why would I get them done so small?

He was an extremely inexperienced virgin and quite weird tbh.

I saw him in a club a few months later and he asked me if I had given him an STD. This was for no discernible reason whatsoever as he didn’t have one and neither did I

"I hope you've not got, you know, anything contagious".

Yeah. Thanks. Also, probably a bit late to consider that. He had no idea why I was pissed off.

Later found it was his first time.