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Original poster

Family

177 replies

Maggiemaggie332 · 17/08/2021 22:54

I want to visit my parents every 2/3 weeks in London from Newcastle (by train) and I’m paying for my own train ticket not my partner. But my partner doesn’t agree and if I do he will refuse to rent? What do you think ?

OP posts:
Kite22 · 17/08/2021 23:43

Refuse to rent what ?

How are you defining partner?

Do you live together / have dc / exist as one family unit, or are you "going out" as we used to say, but financially independent and not relying on each other to care for small dc?

Parky04 · 17/08/2021 23:45

Sorry, do not understand. What do you mean be "refuse to rent"?

Babyroobs · 17/08/2021 23:47

@Parky04

Sorry, do not understand. What do you mean be "refuse to rent"?
Presumably she means refuse to pay rent?
Original poster
Maggiemaggie332 · 17/08/2021 23:52

Rent a house

We have a baby, atm he pays for everything for the baby while I’m still living at my parents house and he lives alone in Newcastle. However if we choose to live together when he finds a place but he doesn’t ageee with me visiting my parents every 2/3 weeks. Whose in the wrong ?

OP posts:
paddlingon · 17/08/2021 23:58

Visiting your parents every two to three weeks seems a lot.
Are you sure you want to make this move?

Is your DP objecting to you visiting your parents so much?

Using money to control your behavior isn't a good sign for your relationship.
Wanting to spend so much time with your parents doesn't sound like a great sign either.

What are the benefits to you of moving?

Kite22 · 17/08/2021 23:58

So, you have a baby and currently live at your parents house in London

The baby's father wants you to live together in Newcastle where he lives, and presumably works.

If you move up there to live with him, you want to travel by train to London twice a month ?

I think the crucial detail here is money. Do you have the money to be paying for a train ticket to London twice a month ? Trains are expensive. Do you have a job in Newcastle ?

Original poster
Maggiemaggie332 · 18/08/2021 00:11

I will be paying for the trains myself but i generally don’t see it as problem because my parents are old and all I want is to understand but seems like he doesn’t

OP posts:
idontlikealdi · 18/08/2021 00:14

Every two to three weeks on the train from newcastle to London sounds like an expensive pain in the arse. Do you really want to move?

Original poster
Maggiemaggie332 · 18/08/2021 00:18

Not really tbh because it’s so far

OP posts:
Howshouldibehave · 18/08/2021 00:27

He pays for everything else but you pay for train tickets to visit your parents?

Are you paying towards any costs for your housing/bills etc?

I could understand him being pissed off if all your money is going on your social visits and not on day to day life.

How much are you earning compared to him?

idontlikealdi · 18/08/2021 00:30

The the Simone answer is you don't move.carting a baby on a train plus whatever connection you need to where your parents are will be a ball ache and you won't want to do it every other week.

Original poster
Maggiemaggie332 · 18/08/2021 00:33

I’m on maternity leave atm tbh I can’t go back to work even when maternity leave ends because the baby is to young to go to nursery until he’s two at least and besides that nursery fees will be expensive. So I don’t think he should be pissed of I told him from the beginning before getting pregnant. Do u agree with me ?

OP posts:
Kite22 · 18/08/2021 00:35

I think my thoughts are also influenced by how the situation has arisen.

If you were a couple in London and he has moved away, or if you were in Newcastle in the first place.

Also, you saying "I will be paying for the trains myself" doesn't tell us if you have that spare spending money after paying your half of your family's living costs, or if you think he should pay all that and leave you to spend your money traveling the country every couple of weeks.

Babyroobs · 18/08/2021 00:37

@Maggiemaggie332

I’m on maternity leave atm tbh I can’t go back to work even when maternity leave ends because the baby is to young to go to nursery until he’s two at least and besides that nursery fees will be expensive. So I don’t think he should be pissed of I told him from the beginning before getting pregnant. Do u agree with me ?
Most babies go to Nursery at 10/11 months old, some younger.
MorriseysGladioli · 18/08/2021 00:38

I think I would sooner just not move, than have to justify visiting my elderly parents.

ineedaholidaynow · 18/08/2021 00:38

Were you planning to have a baby, before you actually lived together? How old are your parents? Children can go to nursery before they are 2.

Kite22 · 18/08/2021 00:39

Someone put on a thread earlier today that the OP of any thread was much more likely to be unreasonable, the less information they give.

I now this is 'Chat' but I am feeling that thought applies here.

You are putting your side of the disagreement, and trying to get people to say your partner is being unfair or unkind or unreasonable, but being very close to the chest with any information that might help people decide.

fringeneedsatrim · 18/08/2021 00:41

Don't move to Newcastle. You're relationship isn't strong enough. Your parents are old and you will miss them. In Newcastle you'll be isolated.

Original poster
Maggiemaggie332 · 18/08/2021 00:44

We was in London then he find a this new job in Newcastle

OP posts:
Original poster
Maggiemaggie332 · 18/08/2021 00:44

Do you think I’m selfish …?

OP posts:
Givemebackmylilo · 18/08/2021 00:46

How old are you? 12?

Howshouldibehave · 18/08/2021 00:46

What are you paying towards your housing/food/bills?

If you won’t be earning any money as you’re not going back to work, how will you pay for these regular train fares?

Babies can go to nursery well before the age of 2-not sure where you got that idea from! Many start from 6 weeks!

If you don’t answer any questions, you won’t get many useful or relevant replies.

Galassia · 18/08/2021 00:49

Why can’t you and baby stay in London and he lives in Newcastle during the week but comes down to stay at the weekend with you?

Original poster
Maggiemaggie332 · 18/08/2021 00:52

Yes I guess I can raise that idea to him.
Atm he comes once a month

OP posts:
Original poster
Maggiemaggie332 · 18/08/2021 00:52

What’s that suppose to mean ?

OP posts: