Family

[Maggiemaggie332]

I want to visit my parents every 2/3 weeks in London from Newcastle (by train) and I’m paying for my own train ticket not my partner. But my partner doesn’t agree and if I do he will refuse to rent? What do you think ?

@Maggiemaggie332

Doesn’t matter if I’m alright or not . I don’t want you to comment on my post is that to much to ask for ?

I mean, yes, on a forum where you've asked for opinions, you can't police the responses

Stay close to your parents if that's what you want to do

@Hadenoughofthisbullshit

I reported your post at 9am *@Givemebackmylilo*. Why are you calling the op names and replying rudely so often? I agree with the op, you don’t seem ok.

Because people who have a baby in order to not work are a new level.

I never said I want to work! You are just making pure judgements

Op it is quite difficult to work out what's really happening here.

From what I can tell, you have a young baby with a man that you aren't married to and you aren't currently working. This puts you in an incredibly vulnerable position. You are concerned that your baby's father isn't committed to family life, you also have concerns that he is going to find another partner and you are worried about moving far away from your own family. Running through this is the lack of finances. Is that it?

I have always worked! Since I finish uni so why are judging? And I never said I don’t want to work ?

I agree witb your thoughts on nursery. Not really a benefit even at 2 actually. Stay with your parents op. He chose to move. Appreciate the time you have with your parents.

He said he will see how things are and if they are not good we will just separate. Would you be annoyed if your partner said this would at least give you some doubts

Yes it would. It’s like moving into a house for which your rental contract says ‘let’s reassess in 2 weeks/months and see how it goes. We might kick you out or we might not, who knows…’. I couldn’t live like that and I definitely couldn’t stay in a relationship with someone who didn’t seem to love me that much, or be that committed?

What happens if/when you ‘just separate’? What happens with the baby and your housing situation?

I also wouldn’t be having babies unless I had a job to provide for them. As an adult it would be my responsibility to house, clothe and feed them, not that of any related adults around me.

Most people need to work in order to support themselves, whether they want to or not. Are you married?

And I never said I don’t want to work

I never said I want to work!

?

Why weren’t you living together before you had the baby?

You have assumed that’s the op’s intention. You’ve also assumed that the only reason the op’s partner moved hundreds of miles away was to provide for the family. Both assumptions seem a stretch to me.

Plenty of people think under 2 is too young for nursery. Some have family who can take care of the kids and others just decide they have to do it whether they like it or not.

Sorry meant to quote this in the above ^^

That was a typo ! Please don’t miss understand

@Bortles

I agree witb your thoughts on nursery. Not really a benefit even at 2 actually. Stay with your parents op. He chose to move. Appreciate the time you have with your parents.

They are good thoughts if the family unit is in a stable financial position to afford a stay at home parent. My own mum kept us at home until the age of 4 so I have nothing against mums who don’t work.

But the OP’s situation doesn’t sound financially stable if she can’t afford train tickets herself or to split the bills with the ‘D’P. If I didn’t have money to live off and a young baby to provide for, I’d be getting myself into work ASAP, young toddler or not.

No idea why my quotes don’t work.

Wow this hurt my head reading this. Constant changing story.
If guarantee your much younger than you say. You sound very immature. Your relationship is going no where. Stay put with your parents /move out locally.
He obviously isn't keen on you going or he wouldn't of said if it doesn't work then you can move out! That would be upheaval for the child.
Sorry to be to the point but this is all very bizzare

They are good thoughts if the family unit is in a stable financial position to afford a stay at home parent. My own mum kept us at home until the age of 4 so I have nothing against mums who don’t work

Absolutely. I would never do it without being married though.

@Maggiemaggie332

That was a typo ! Please don’t miss understand

Which was a typo?

Honestly, your posts are so difficult to understand. Don’t tell people not to misunderstand when it’s you making things so confusing!

If you are not married it is not a good idea to be financially dependent on the father, and at 28 I wouldn’t like to be financially dependent on my parents either.

Yea of course I understand what you are saying

Is there a reason he took a job so far away? How long have you been "together"?

If you split up how will you manage financially?

@Maggiemaggie332

Yea of course I understand what you are saying

You need to quote the person you're replying to. Like this.

It was a sponsorship job . Been together 3 years