Mumsnet solutions that amuse / bemuse me

[Wishimaywishimight]

Relationship problems;

LTB - fair enough when it's dire circumstances, abuse etc. but oftentimes it's when DH/DP grumbles about doing a household task or wants to take a nap.

Change the locks - DH/DP stays out late after going for a drink and neglects to keep in touch with partner / spouse.

Leave his bags outside the front door - see above.

Money problems;

Go part time / full time - are there many jobs where you can even switch like this?

Increase your hours - what? How does this even work. I have never had a job where I was paid / contracted for a number of hours. If I said to my boss that I wanted to increase my hours she would say in rather a puzzled tone; "Fine, come in earlier, leave later, whatever you like".

Noisy Neighbours;

Move to a detached house - um, yes, that's an easy solution. Where I live a detached house is probably €80k more expensive than a semi-detached so cost would be a consideration.

DH/DP doesn't want to get married and/or have children;

Dump him and find a man who does. Often the OP's in these situations are mid to late 30's - are there really hordes of eligible single men out there queueing up to meet 30 something women with a frantically ticking biological clock?

Trying to think of a few more, these are the ones that jumped out at me!

@drainrat

Any poster who receives an inheritance or fantasises about a lottery win, MN will say buy a flat to rent out, or a holiday rental.

Also MN: AirBnB kills communities and landlords are scum.

Oh yes, this one. With kids of famous celebrities who are lazy and entitled and should be made to work, despite their parents being multimillionaires, but in the next breath the first thing they’d do if they won the lottery is quit their job

Drainrat

Any MNnetter getting any inheritance is LUCKY and should be GRATEFUL .. Most people will never even get 1p. ( and if they do they will give it to the Poor)

... and gawd help anyone asking any questions about inheritances ..

Same goes for Pensions, or asking advice for saving for pensions. they are also Lucky and taking the bread out f the mouths of others

.....Most people on MN will not be able to retire until after they are dead ..

Over on style and beauty, anyone emerging from personal strife, PND, obesity, violent marriage is told to start with having their eyebrows threaded.

I am Indian and my ladies are devoted to eyebrow threading, but let me tell you this: thinner eyebrows will never fix you.

@plodalong12

One suggestion I read to a woman asking for ideas to raise money whilst looking after her 3 year old daughter, was for the woman to take up street busking and her daughter could dance next to her to entertain generous passers-by

Stop it now 🤣

[quote plodalong12]@iBrows
You can’t ever be remotely tipsy in case one of your children needs you to drive them to hospital. You must be sober for 18 years as there is no such thing as an ambulance, taxi, friend or relative

But, at the same time, “large glasses of wine/gin for you tonight OP after the day you’ve had!” (AKA something mildly irritating happened).[/quote]
Surely you know that if you drink more than a thimbleful every other Christmas ( which is most that good Mnetters do ) then you are an Alcoholic ...

Laska pours out a cheeky 5pm wine a bit early

One suggestion I read to a woman asking for ideas to raise money whilst looking after her 3 year old daughter, was for the woman to take up street busking and her daughter could dance next to her to entertain generous passers-by

I'm surprised she didn't suggest buying a barrel organ and performing monkey as well

Don't ask for opinions on buying yourself a lovely handbag from that inheritance or for a significant birthday as it's selfish to have things that are just for you and not for the benefit of others.

Buy a bench instead.

LTB , go NC with family, move house and resign.

That's your DH, MIL, neighbours and boss all sorted....it's not you it's them

@summercupcake

LTB , go NC with family, move house and resign.

That's your DH, MIL, neighbours and boss all sorted....it's not you it's them

I do sometimes wonder if these are the same posters who pop up fairly frequently saying "I literally have no friends, not one" 🤔

There are plenty of MN problems that are just as bemusing. For example:

I'm getting a cleaner in, can I leave a dirty pot for her to clean?

I'm being invited to a wedding 200 miles away, how do I get out of it?

I'm fully vaccinated but AIBU for not wanting to take my baby to the park where there are other people less than sixty metres away?

In a crisis , trying to escape sun abusive relationship, not a penny, totally isolated, no family around , about to be homeless…??
"Just call your parents! If it was my daughter I’d move heaven and earth to help!"

Yes. And if everyone had those kind of parents they wouldn’t be posting asking for advice, would they.

Counselling for everything, absolutely everything! Everything slight, snub, fallout, break up needs ‘unpicked’

No-one on MN ever knows what to wear to any event, be it wedding or funeral and everything in between. Have you never left the house???

Everybody rages and fumes over anything! And everyone piles on with advice, all the things they’d love to say and do themselves but wouldn’t dare…

Yes, any personal or professional triumph can only be marked by a bench or “a piece of art”. (Never specified whether a painting, sculpture, or Lladro you understand). Heaven forfend you spend it on a fancy handbag or a watch.

Yes, any perceived slight or inconvenience has to be dealt with by “having it out”with that person. For some MNers, that confrontation may even go as far as fisticuffs, and some MNers glow with pride that they or their husband/partner might be willing to throw a punch. Meanwhile, other MNers are so delicate that, if their MIL sends a birthday card a day late, they have a fit of the vapours and have to take to the chaise longue like a Victorian heroine.

I love it here and have been here a very long time but these are things which (as skybluepinkgiraffe says) make me look the other way.

‘My husband hates me being ill, I lay at deaths door for a fortnight and he didn’t make me a cup of tea as much’

‘My husband would have been checking on me every ten minutes, tempting me with gourmet food and making sure I had everything I could possibly ever want or need!’ I never think that’s particularly helpful…😕

OP: my DH has asked me to look after kis kids (SDC) whilst he's at work.

MN: he's taking the piss, the kids are nothing to do with you, you're not free childcare.

Just totally missing the point that you work together as a couple when you're married and that your DH's children are not just some random kids off the street that you can ignore.

Another one:

OP: I lost my job and am on the bones of my arse.

MN: sell everything that's not nailed down on ebay.

Totally not getting that if you bought something new at full price a few points months back, how does selling it for a few quid as second hand really benefit given that your original investment will have been for nothing.

Need to be wearing a Tena pad to get through this thread....so funny 🤣🤣

Any answer to a complex problem that starts with ‘just’. Just leave your husband. Just get another job. Just move house… Such difficult long-term processes thrown out there like they’re just as easy as changing your socks.

I also can’t stand it when, on threads about people being taken advantage of, someone comes on at about page 11 and posts over and over again how much better they would have handled each situation. Just comes across as smug and a bit needy.

I read a thread earlier where an OP was concerned about something - it's a subject I know nothing about so did not contribute but did genuinely feel for her as she was obviously very worried. A less than supportive responder commented on the thread finishing with "this is a non-issue". This pissed me off no end - who are you to tell an OP that her worry is a "non-issue" when clearly to the OP is is very much an issue.

Anyway, that's more of a rant than anything else but there ye go...

@SudokuZebra

My teenage daughter is really anxious about starting her periods , what is the easiest possible products to make things easy for her ?

Poster: Give her a Mooncup OP, that will be so easy for her to rinse out and use in the school toilets.

😂

Currently reading a thread about a young child's diet - fair enough, there are lots of useful posts on how to make the diet healthier however some of the suggestions for snacks are, to me, a little off the wall; frozen banana (chopped up), baked chicken (chopped up).

1. How many people actually feed toddlers the above? I know, loads probably so I may be very much in the minority here and;
2. Thanks for clarifying "chopped up" but are there many people who need to be told this? Do we now need advice, at this level, on how to present food to a small child?

Bah, I'm just bored/in bad form I think...

Oh yes. If we’re reading the same thread, there’s the inevitable mention of hummus. Proper MN toddlers never eat anything else and just work their way through every available variety for every meal.

@TalesOfDrunkennessAndCruelty

Oh yes. If we’re reading the same thread, there’s the inevitable mention of hummus. Proper MN toddlers never eat anything else and just work their way through every available variety for every meal.

I know! According to MN, every toddler is eating carrot sticks and hummus as a snack. There is no way on gods green earth my toddler would happily dig into carrot sticks and hummus.

And veggies (note: not vegetables) - every MN toddler and child has plenty of veggies to munch and nibble on if they're hungry.