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Mumsnet solutions that amuse / bemuse me

314 replies

Wishimaywishimight · 16/08/2021 16:06

Relationship problems;

LTB - fair enough when it's dire circumstances, abuse etc. but oftentimes it's when DH/DP grumbles about doing a household task or wants to take a nap.

Change the locks - DH/DP stays out late after going for a drink and neglects to keep in touch with partner / spouse.

Leave his bags outside the front door - see above.

Money problems;

Go part time / full time - are there many jobs where you can even switch like this?

Increase your hours - what? How does this even work. I have never had a job where I was paid / contracted for a number of hours. If I said to my boss that I wanted to increase my hours she would say in rather a puzzled tone; "Fine, come in earlier, leave later, whatever you like".

Noisy Neighbours;

Move to a detached house - um, yes, that's an easy solution. Where I live a detached house is probably €80k more expensive than a semi-detached so cost would be a consideration.

DH/DP doesn't want to get married and/or have children;

Dump him and find a man who does. Often the OP's in these situations are mid to late 30's - are there really hordes of eligible single men out there queueing up to meet 30 something women with a frantically ticking biological clock?

Trying to think of a few more, these are the ones that jumped out at me!

OP posts:
HarrisMcCoo · 17/08/2021 10:21

"Throw money at the problem, outsource if you can" wait till I find that money tree in my garden 🤣

HarrisMcCoo · 17/08/2021 10:23

@paepoyrol

Should I leave my 11 year old at home whilst I go out to work all day?

but also what if there was a fire or they hit their head & became unconscious.

Or you could get hit by a bus walking to work after dropping off kids at school 🤷
CloudPop · 17/08/2021 10:28

@joystir59

Mildly amusing post: 'I've just literally spat my tea all over my keyboard, and woken DH up"
Also "literally howling"
TalesOfDrunkennessAndCruelty · 17/08/2021 10:33

You have a treat in store, OP.

Maireas · 17/08/2021 10:40

The thread above this one, a woman asking for tips cleaning because she can no longer hire a cleaning service.
Poster : hire a cleaning service Hmm

Shodan · 17/08/2021 10:42

Suspect husband is with another woman on a work trip to NY? Don't just ask him. No. Buy a flight, turn up at hotel, masquerade as a room service person and catch him the act!

To be fair though, if you actually did this you could write a best-selling book about your experience, get extremely rich, hire an au pair/cleaner/gardener/poor person who's taken on all the ironing in the country, buy a second loo for your house/buy a new house that already has a second loo AND send hampers with an entire vineyard of champagne to everyone you've ever met.

On the other hand, a book detailing the story of how you actually spoke to your DH probably wouldn't sell as well.

Wishimaywishimight · 17/08/2021 10:43

@TalesOfDrunkennessAndCruelty

I can't believe I hadn't discovered that before - many thanks!

OP posts:
SudokuZebra · 17/08/2021 10:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floogal · 17/08/2021 10:55

"try going for walks" when the issue of obesity and being overweight comes up. Walking will make negligible difference sadly. To be fair this isn't just in MN

JaninesEyePatch · 17/08/2021 11:04

Poster asks for weight loss advice having tried many things and still unable to shift the weight.

"Eat less, move more"

Pretty sure that would have been their first idea themselves....

bunnypenny · 17/08/2021 11:19

there was one yesterday on a thread where the OP said her estranged husband was taking her off the car insurance.

Response: you should legally wreck the car (google it!) and get half the insurance pay out.

WTAF??

1forAll74 · 17/08/2021 12:05

Go and see a councillor or therapist, for anything under the sun.

HarrisMcCoo · 17/08/2021 14:30

@JaninesEyePatch

Poster asks for weight loss advice having tried many things and still unable to shift the weight.

"Eat less, move more"

Pretty sure that would have been their first idea themselves....

🙊
RockingMyFiftiesNot · 17/08/2021 14:36

Setting boundaries for teenagers means you are controlling bordering on abusive, apparently.

Wishimaywishimight · 17/08/2021 15:57

Whenever a poster mentions that it would not be worth them getting a job / better job as the resulting childcare costs would not make it worthwhile. Immediately someone pounces to say that childcare should be shared between both parents and it's outrageous that only the OP should be paying. Surely the point the OP is making is that the overall/joint income would suffer due to childcare costs and not that the OP would pay all of it while the DH/DP contributes nothing? Always a bit baffled by that one.

OP posts:
Skybluepinkgiraffe · 17/08/2021 16:14

I agree there is sometimes some mad advice given on here, but it can also be a massively supportive place and somewhere that you can learn a few different ways of looking at things.
Occasionally it drives me mad so I look the other way for a few days.
Gives great insight into how other people think.
On balance, I quite like it

JaninesEyePatch · 17/08/2021 16:14

@Wishimaywishimight

Whenever a poster mentions that it would not be worth them getting a job / better job as the resulting childcare costs would not make it worthwhile. Immediately someone pounces to say that childcare should be shared between both parents and it's outrageous that only the OP should be paying. Surely the point the OP is making is that the overall/joint income would suffer due to childcare costs and not that the OP would pay all of it while the DH/DP contributes nothing? Always a bit baffled by that one.
Yes I've seen that quoted too and thought exactly the same as you
Skybluepinkgiraffe · 17/08/2021 16:17

@Wishimaywishimight

Whenever a poster mentions that it would not be worth them getting a job / better job as the resulting childcare costs would not make it worthwhile. Immediately someone pounces to say that childcare should be shared between both parents and it's outrageous that only the OP should be paying. Surely the point the OP is making is that the overall/joint income would suffer due to childcare costs and not that the OP would pay all of it while the DH/DP contributes nothing? Always a bit baffled by that one.
But yes I do agree with this. I think the point of working even if it costs, is to secure decent pension/security if there's a divorce though. However I'm old school and subscribe to the notion that DH and I look after each other in the ways that suit us as individuals, and thus we have a fighting chance of staying together.
SudokuZebra · 17/08/2021 16:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaMelon · 17/08/2021 16:28

You must always , always believe the teacher over your child, as teachers are always saints

Oh definitely YY to this. I’ve seen posters getting absolutely torn to shreds when it’s quite obvious that the teacher and/or the school is in the wrong.

Laska2Meryls · 17/08/2021 16:31

OP ' My lifes a mess , DH is leaving ,had another woman taken everything out of the bank account ,made me homeless , stolen the kids and dog threatening this that and the other '

A. 'Get a free half an hour with a solicitor'

Yep... that'll sort it out then ! Even if you could get one , (I should think unlikely ) the first half hour would be spent on filling in the forms, being told the pricing structure .. etc . Not being given the solution and it all being sorted out ...

Can't afford a solicitor? . 'Get legal Aid'

Simples ....... ( I dont know why the OP even asked .... )

Laska2Meryls · 17/08/2021 16:37

Q. MIL gave your darling some food you dont approve of or bought an item of clothing ( maybe from a supermarket, it was the other day !!!)

A . Shes an abuser and deliberately undermining you/ endangering your child .. Go No Contact

plodalong12 · 17/08/2021 16:40

@iBrows
You can’t ever be remotely tipsy in case one of your children needs you to drive them to hospital. You must be sober for 18 years as there is no such thing as an ambulance, taxi, friend or relative

But, at the same time, “large glasses of wine/gin for you tonight OP after the day you’ve had!” (AKA something mildly irritating happened).

drainrat · 17/08/2021 16:40

Any poster who receives an inheritance or fantasises about a lottery win, MN will say buy a flat to rent out, or a holiday rental.

Also MN: AirBnB kills communities and landlords are scum.

plodalong12 · 17/08/2021 16:43

One suggestion I read to a woman asking for ideas to raise money whilst looking after her 3 year old daughter, was for the woman to take up street busking and her daughter could dance next to her to entertain generous passers-by Confused

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