Come and play my made-up game

[UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa]

I will ask for advice, and you have to answer using only a quote from somewhere else on Mumsnet. Then you can ask for the next piece of advice. (best to quote the advice question you're answering in case there's cross-posting)

Okay, first question: What should I wear to my cousin's wedding?

How do I stop my teenage DC taking food into their rooms when I'm at work?

How do I stop my teenage DC taking food into their rooms when I'm at work?

We teach calm behaviour on their beds by capturing it when they choose to lie quietly, dropping a treat on as we go about our business. Once they’re consistently able to lie quietly, not looking for a treat or watching what we’re doing intently in the hope of getting one, we start adding in the cue. Using lower grade treats helps to build the calmness, as they’re less keen than they would be for high-grade treats. So maybe some of their usual kibble.

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What should I put on my Wedding Gift List?

What should I put on my Wedding Gift List?

My first thought was dead dog.

or

a straight jacket for the knees!

What shall I do to improve my love life?

What shall I do to improve my love life?

I would probably one last ditch attempt say, please can you make an effort to come it would mean a huge amount to ME.

If he still can’t be bothered then that speaks volumes, if he comes and sulks ditto.
If he makes an effort like an adult then ok.

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Next door's kids keep throwing balls into our garden - what can I do?

Next door's kids keep throwing balls into our garden - what can I do?

I think exposure can help eg if you can watch things that make you uncomfortable and try and push your boundaries in a controlled way.

When will my ship come in?

When will my ship come in?

'Aways arrives between 9.30 and 10am.'

What should I do when I arrive at someone's home for a dinner party?

What should I do when I arrive at someone's home for a dinner party?

• learn a basic language (free online course)
• exercise
• plan out what you'd like to do over a week/month/year if you have a goal, career or personal
• write to friends or relatives
• declutter a room

How can I attract a good man?

How can I attract a good man?

Do you get the bins out?

Banking/bills/decisions.

Can you change a tyre?

Do you bleed the radiators?

Are you happy to be alone in the night?

What is the sweetest thing your dp has ever done for you?

How can I attract a good man?

Depends where you live, but consider the police....they can definitely get involved.

What age child drew this picture?

How can I attract a good man?

Either don't bother and replace as needed or use iron on labels

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What action can I personally take to combat climate change?

How can I attract a good man?

If you get a good one they are drool-tastic.

What is the sweetest thing your dp has ever done for you?

What is the sweetest thing your dp has ever done for you?

Hopefully his penis will fall off soon.

What is the sweetest thing your dp has ever done for you?

planning for all eventualities, including zombie apocalypse and the breakdown of western civilisation.

What age child drew this picture?

Ooh. Now that looks like a wart I had sticking out of my eyebrow for a couple of years. I rubbed Ibuprofen gel into it twice a day, morning and night, and it dropped off in about 4 weeks.

@FatJan

What should I do when I arrive at someone's home for a dinner party?

• learn a basic language (free online course)
• exercise
• plan out what you'd like to do over a week/month/year if you have a goal, career or personal
• write to friends or relatives
• declutter a room

How can I attract a good man?

Love this one, FatJan

There's a rat in my kitchen, wwyd to get him out?

Get up earlier, or leave the night before and overnight in a cheap hotel, take an alternative route...plenty of options.

What action can I personally take to combat climate change?

'children are spaced out so that there will never be two at uni at the same time.'

What should I do to follow up after a job interview?

What should I do to follow up after a job interview?

Send two more emails , if they dont reply set up camp outside the office door

What should I do when I am told I am not allowed on someone else thread ?

What should I do when I am told I am not allowed on someone else thread ?

Flood it with mindless posts so the OP gets really annoyed? 

Or something. Best ask @UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa

@KurtWilde

What should I do when I am told I am not allowed on someone else thread ?

Who cares what she thinks you're an adult you can do what you like

What should I have instead of a birthday cake?

What should I have instead of a birthday cake?

I'm thinking something beige, cream, brown etc maybe black?

Top tips for dealing with unruly teens!

Top tips for dealing with unruly teens?

What should I have instead of a birthday cake?

'A cocktail of morphine and cocaine.'

Bonus Q&A (I was really drawn to this one for some reason?):

What should I do when I am told I am not allowed on someone else thread ?

'God. Nothing more mortifying than other people making stuff all about them awful attention seeking behaviour'

How can I make my dinner guests feel comfortable?

Top tips for dealing with unruly teens?

'Don't feel you need to bow to their demands out of politeness. They are certainly not being at all polite or considerate of you'

How can I make my dinner guests feel comfortable?