Come and play my made-up game

[UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa]

I will ask for advice, and you have to answer using only a quote from somewhere else on Mumsnet. Then you can ask for the next piece of advice. (best to quote the advice question you're answering in case there's cross-posting)

Okay, first question: What should I wear to my cousin's wedding?

I want to cook more from scratch. What store-cupboard basics should I buy
Totally maggots.
At the very least 1000 flies

What can I use to make my hands look less like an old woman's?

I want to cook more from scratch. What store-cupboard basics should I buy
Given that that answer has already been given earlier in the thread, I shall change my advice to...
Fresh croissants for breakfast with strawberry conserve, note - not jam, and real coffee, sitting on the terrace wearing proper sheepskin slippers (sourced from a small family business, I love that part 🤣) that are as far removed from uggs as you can get

What can I use to make my hands look less like an old woman's?

What can I use to make my hands look less like an old woman's?

You need to get help from an accredited behaviourist. Sooner or later it will escalate and they will start biting each other. It won't be cheap and there may be a waiting list due to COVID but the sooner you enquire the better.

Should I start letting my indoor cat go outside?

Should I start letting my indoor cat go outside?

"Mine does but I've no problem with it and I reciprocate in some degree or another. If I told him not to, he wouldn't do it."

Would I be unreasonable to never speak to MIL again?

Would I be unreasonable to never speak to MIL again?

'that sounds bloody amazing! I'm definitely trying it!'

I want to donate to a local charity. What kind of cause do you think I should support?

I want to donate to a local charity. What kind of cause do you think I should support?

rescue a pot with burnt jam on the bottom

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Any tips for 'back to school' shopping?

Any tips for 'back to school' shopping?
If an alternative to liver paste is needed, fish sticks are good. We chopped them up a bit, or peeled them into smaller pieces

Could I be pregnant at 43?

Could I be pregnant at 43?

'Yes I had one of these before!! It's a scam!!'

Why isn't my toddler talking yet?

Why isn't my toddler talking yet

He sounds like a misogynist. LTB.

Should I get rid of my skinny jeans?

Should I get rid of my skinny jeans?

a low seat loo is better, position wise, it helps you open your bowels more easily.

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Having a minor operation next week - any tips for a quick recovery?

Having a minor operation next week - any tips for a quick recovery?

I would find this completely unacceptable. Raise your standards and refuse to tolerate this bullshit.

Any tips for quick lunchbox ideas for when the kids go back to school?

Any tips for quick lunchbox ideas for when the kids go back to school?

"In the end I just held
up my hands and said "F**k you", and walked out leaving a half full trolley, food on the checkout and food on the floor."

When is enough not enough?

When is enough not enough?

have we completed the bingo card with ‘meaningless lives full of designer handbags and fancy cars’ trope yet? We’ve had the ‘overwhelming love’ and ‘why are you even on MUMSnet??’ posts

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Tell me about your honeymoon.

When is enough not enough?

I think we ought to try to have a little bit more sympathy and compassion towards those who are more cautious than others. They aren’t doing it deliberately - they genuinely are scared.

Am I ever going to meet the love of my life?

Tell me about your honeymoon
Hebden Bridge? Lesbian capital of the UK. Lots of alternative stuff going on. Pretty town feel, lovely cafes, on the doorstep of nice walks and easy drive/train to Manchester and Leeds. But depending on which bit you live some major flooding issues.

Should I allow my 14 year old to sleepover at her boyfriends house?

Should I allow my 14 year old to sleep over at hey boyfriend's house

I moved in while DD was away and went back to sofa bed when she came home.
Her room also housed an extra drying rack. That's in the living room now. Dang!

What is the best way to remove a smell of damp from the carpet?

What is the best way to remove a smell of damp from the carpet?
have a box of shit in your house.

What special skills / qualifications do you have on your cv, to make you more appealing to employers?

Am I ever going to meet the love of my life?

Yeah, loads!
Someone who didn't want to pay for their TV licence because they didn't actually watch the telly - they just had it on as company for their pet parrot.

Any tips for quick lunchbox ideas for when the kids go back to school?

We usually buy fat balls in bulk, fat logs and packs of the fat bricks in various flavours, no mess seed mixes and mealworms from Wilks, as they offer good value, but I’m guilty of paying over the odds for posh food, from the local garden centre, on occasion.

What special skills / qualifications do you have on your cv, to make you more appealing to employers?

Am I ever going to meet the love of my life?

'At the risk of stating the obvious have you checked in the bag used to take in the dry cleaning, in the car thoroughly, where you undressed, where the trousers were left until they went in bag etc. Etc.?'

How can I be more environmentally friendly?

What special skills / qualifications do you have on your cv, to make you more appealing to employers?

'I am very hairy the vast majority of the time.'

How can I be more environmentally friendly?

How can I be more environmentally friendly?

Not everyone wants or needs to do their best. Some people can be the best without having to try, some people are happy enough just being 'okay' and doing enough.

How can I deal with my difficult in-laws?

How can I deal with my difficult in-laws?

'Humane traps rarely work, and you have to empty them miles away if you do catch anything.

I've had to use poison traps a few times, and never had an unpleasant consequences (for myself!).'

Why is my arm always sore?

Why is my arm always sore?

They are disgusting, leathery horrors

Where might my new kitten be hiding?

Where might my new kitten be hiding?

Could it have been in the back of the cupboard when you moved in?

What should I do when I can’t sleep?