What would it take for you to never visit your adult DC again?

[Wookydook]

What would your adult DC have to do / change in their life for you to never visit their home again? Assuming you had been going to their house perhaps once a month/every 2 months. Discounting the pandemic and hypothetical transport issues - what would be a "deal breaker"?

The opposite of a kitten is a vacuum cleaner! A dishwasher?

is it an Amazon Alexa or Echo and the parent doesn't want to feel that Amazon is listening to everything s/he says?

you could promise to unplug & turn off Alexa every time they visit?

did you buy lots of chalk and drew all over the pavement??

If it was something that the parent was allergic to/causes them actual distress that's fair enough. So if it's, say, a dog or a cat or an air freshener or plant that causes sneezing, or a prominently displayed erotic photo of you or gruesome Halloween decorations displayed year round then fair enough. If they don't like the colour of your kettle, then that's weird. If they are scared of your echo dot, then that's maybe understandable but fixable. Either way, there's nothing much you can do except keep in touch in other ways and hope they change their mind.

You bought something for your own home and now your parent doesn't want to visit.

However, she/he wants you to visit them.

WTF did you buy? A mantrap?

If it’s 25% then Google suggests it’s probably a cat. If they have a phobia, and allergy, or just are repulsed by the smell of litter trays then you’ll probably just have to accept that it’s their choice. Meet elsewhere.

Have your parents got previous for acting strangely?
If a quarter of households have got this object you know YANBU.

Unless it’s a dog and they’re terrified of them I can’t see a reasonable excuse.

I can't imagine what they would be. Even if they did something awful, I would want to understand why and try to help their rehabilitation. They would have to have done something truly terrible AND be utterly unrepentant.

I (briefly) knew a guy who cut off his adult daughter as she said she wanted to take him out for lunch on Father's day. He objected to the phrase ' take you out' ( 'like I am an old man). She was really upset by it. He said she had to come to him apologising and he would 'live with the pain' of her not being in his life if she didn't.
This is why I only knew him briefly. He clearly wasn't someone to get to know better.

Internet connected doorbell? CCTV? My dm refused to visit because she was adamant that she was being watched/tracked/spied on.

I'm assuming Alexa or equivalent too.

If the parent has a mobile phone, they are wasting their time.

Plug-in air fresheners. Give me debilitating migraines. I can't be in places where they are in use.

My DM said she'd never visit if I moved abroad. She claimed she wouldn't come to
My wedding. She eventually came three times in 7 years and but under severe duress and made it clear she hated every minute .

I know this is an annoying thread. I'm sorry. It's like the ones where the DH has a hobby and the OP won't say what it is and everyone is shouting "just say it's cycling. Everyone bloody cycles!"
In my defense though, it is an extremely mundane run-of-the-mill acquisition and I do think it's outing to say "I bought a kitten/robot vacuum/man in an apron" and now my parents won't visit.
Because, to be fair, it would usually take a lot for a parent to never visit. That's what I was wondering. Is it a normal reaction. And the fact that posters are saying that it would have to be a crime/phobia/allergy in order for them to never visit DC again means I'm not the unreasonable one ( I know it's not AIBU)

I love the guesses. My favourite is the man in the apron. It's also I interesting that Alexa could be a deal breaker. I don't have one but I do feel slightly odd in a house that does

Just say what it is .... I wouldn't visit someone if they had a large dog, I really feel uncomfortable around dogs ... but if it was my DC I would hope they would arrange to meet elsewhere.

Lizzies I know of a couple of situations where an adult child has committed a very serious crime ... in both cases the parents offered a home to their DC when they were released from prison ... it is a very difficult and complex situation, it is very easy to say 'I would disown my DC' but you don't know how you would behave until it happens to you. I believe these parents thought they were offering their DC a better chance at turning their life around than if they were left to live in a bedsit or similar.

I'd guess a pet, my grandparents very rarely visited my uncle's house becaus of the dog and my brother's house because of their cat and dog. My grandma didn't like dogs.

Which is fine and their choice, but as long as they don't expect 'extra' visitation in return or accept not being invited to something like Christmas if it was at that house.

I have just seen the erotic photo suggestion and the man-trap made me laugh out loud.
Fair point about Alexa = mobile phone

Is it an alive thing?

OP loves the guesses...

But how are we supposed to know if it's unreasonable for them to refuse to visit over if we don't know what it is?

So you’re parents won’t visit you because you bought something?

I might see their point if it’s an animal otherwise difficult to comprehend

I think the mass guessing game is because the reason they don’t like it would affect the response given. For example, do they think it might harm them in some way? In which case it’s kind of understandable even if it’s a batshit reason like they are scared of microwaves emoting radiation or something. Do they not like it because it goes against one of their principles, like a leather sofa to a vegan? Or do they not like it because they think it is common or vulgar?
Ooh, is it a hot tub?!

Actually, no, surely. a quarter of households don’t have a hot tub

I bet it’s a dog

@allfurcoatnoknickers that's really tough
@frogface69 I wasn't expecting guesses. I'm impressed with how witty people are. I suppose I could have titled it "guess what I bought and now...."
@pucelleauxblanchesmains
I suppose if people say "there's not a whole lot that would stop me visiting my child" then I know I'm not U.

If most people say "if my child got a kitten/dog/Alexa/air freshener then I'd never visit" I'd know that actually, lots of people choose not to visit their DCs homes
@wednesdayweather lucky escape from that guy. His poor daughter

But it does depend what it is.

My mother refuses to visit because I bought a grey sofa and she haters grey-batshit, my mother refuses to visit because I bought a Pit Bull and she’s terrified of them-understandable.