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Original poster

14 yr old DS walked in on my DP naked, how do I handle this.

267 replies

StrawberryShortcakeAndTea · 09/08/2021 20:38

I’ve been with DP 5 years he’s quite and shy.
DS has gotten into the habit of knocking and walking straight into my bedroom when DP is out or in his office and he thinks I’m alone.

DS thought DP was out (he was about to go out, he had been getting ready to leave hadn’t left yet as we got ‘distracted’.
DP was completely undressed when DS knocked and immediately opened the door, I shouted and DP dashed into the bathroom but it was too late as he was literally stood right in full view of the door.

DS apologised and ran to his room
DP was embarrassed and furious, he got dressed straight away and left the house.
I went and told DS you never walk into someone’s room without knocking and waiting for a response he looked embarrassed but didn’t say anything.

How do I handle this.
My first instinct is to give DS a lecture about privacy and to brush it off as one of those things, but DP is shy and I know him, he will be really upset and embarrassed.

What can I do to make this less of an awful situation?

OP posts:
Panickingpavlova · 09/08/2021 21:18

Ummm tell your dp he needs to lighten up and he's living in a house with dc so he has to expect this?

SparklingLime · 09/08/2021 21:19

How would you and your DP have reacted if your DS had knocked and walked in just a few minutes earlier while you were still having sex?

Datsandcogs · 09/08/2021 21:20

Surely DS has learnt the lesson now. A quiet apology to your DP should be more than enough.

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Clymene · 09/08/2021 21:20

The only people at fault here are you and your partner for having sex with the door unlocked when there are children in the house.

Lovemusic33 · 09/08/2021 21:20

I don’t really see the issue, I think you and dp are really over thinking this, no wonder your poor ds is so shy.

EmmalineC · 09/08/2021 21:21

Put a lock on your bedroom door for goodness sake!! Nobody, least of all your teenage son, wants to walk in on a couple being intimate with each other. Grant him the same courtesy and offer to get him a lock for his door too.

HealthKick2021 · 09/08/2021 21:21

Sorry but this is funny. Tell your DP to get over it b

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 09/08/2021 21:21

I feel sorry for your son. Anger is a strange response from your DP - he's the adult and should have already done his work unpacking the hangups he was brought up with, rather than pushing them onto your child.

My oldest DC is a few years younger than 14 so I might change my perspective on this later, but I think it's actually nice he feels comfortable and welcome to come into your room. A lock is a practical solution if you want to shag while he's home and awake I guess, but I do think it's a bit grim.

Definitely wouldn't say anything further to DS about this, but might need words with DP about his weird response.

Lotusmonster · 09/08/2021 21:23

Calmness needed all round here. Just a ‘please knock and wait for an answer thanks’ plus Do get a latch fitted!!!!!

SeasonFinale · 09/08/2021 21:24

"How do I handle it?"

Nothing further to be said to your son.

Tell DP to get a grip. It is his response that is not normal.

Original poster
StrawberryShortcakeAndTea · 09/08/2021 21:25

And just to be clear, we weren’t having sex, he was getting changed to go to the gym and I took advantage of him being naked and had a bit of a grope, that’s it. he was just about to start getting dressed when DS walked in.

The bedroom is on the third floor over DPs office with a separate staircase, he wouldn’t be walking past the room or sitting next door listening to anything even if we were to have sex.
But I don’t think there is anything wrong with having sex while your kids are in the house, as long as they don’t know what you are doing.

he’s so chilled he practically vertical, as they say.

Pretty sure the saying is "so laid back he's horizontal"

Yes that’s what I meant, I’ve no idea how I messed that up so spectacularly.

OP posts:
Lotusmonster · 09/08/2021 21:25

Go down b&q and buy a big bag of door latches

pommepommefrites · 09/08/2021 21:25

Was just sick in my mouth, think you both need to apologise to ds for him having to witness dp wiping his dick off because you can't lock a door? Wait for an appropriate time? Ewww

Abouttimemum · 09/08/2021 21:25

It’s funny, everyone needs to relax, have a chuckle and move on.

GoodVibesHere · 09/08/2021 21:25

Oh c'mon your son won't be traumatised by seeing an erection. You are making waaay too big a deal if you mention it further.

Yes it's embarrasing for everyone but surely you just move on?

KindChick · 09/08/2021 21:26

I feel sorry for your son, there seems to have been a huge over reaction both on your part and also on DPs part. These things happen, the embarrassment your son must have felt/feels would be enough without the lecture. Your DP getting dressed and leaving the house like it’s some big drama - that’s actually hideous. Your poor son.

ThirtyCharacterUsernamesOnly30 · 09/08/2021 21:26

Nothing more needs to be said. I'm sure your son will remember not to just walk in, from now on! 🙈😂

I'd also get a lock, just in case!

SpaceshiptoMars · 09/08/2021 21:26

A lock is a practical solution if you want to shag while he's home and awake I guess, but I do think it's a bit grim.

When do 14 yr old boys ever sleep? 3am and still on the bloody console...

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 09/08/2021 21:27

@GoodVibesHere

Oh c'mon your son won't be traumatised by seeing an erection. You are making waaay too big a deal if you mention it further.

Yes it's embarrasing for everyone but surely you just move on?

Actually a 14 year old boy could definitely be traumatised by seeing a man's erect penis after sexual activity with his mum. It's actively harmful for teenagers to be exposed to sexual activity between their parents. It's not just a no biggie funny situation.
QuirkyUsername · 09/08/2021 21:27

Here's how you handle it. Chill out, no need for hand wringing.
To DS "Ooop. That was awkward. Bet you won't do that again, huh?! Now you see what I was saying about the knocking and waiting for an answer thing?"
To DP "Ooop. That was awkward. Bet he won't do that again. Still. At least it brings it home with the knocking and waiting for an answer thing"
Aaaaand theeeeen move on. Never mention it again.

EarringsandLipstick · 09/08/2021 21:27

DP needs to get a grip.. If he's shagging or has his dick out in a teens house there is every chance he could be seen.

Exactly this.

I feel really sorry for your DS to be honest.

Your 'shy' DP was happy to have sex while DS was around. But is overcome with embarrassment that he was seen naked.

Reminding DS about knocking & waiting as you did, is all that's needed. Please also reassure him it's not a big deal & he's not responsible for your DP's embarrassment.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 09/08/2021 21:27

@SpaceshiptoMars

A lock is a practical solution if you want to shag while he's home and awake I guess, but I do think it's a bit grim.

When do 14 yr old boys ever sleep? 3am and still on the bloody console...

Mine isn't allowed on the console until 3am Isn't that parenting??
CambsAlways · 09/08/2021 21:28

Lock the door simples

EarringsandLipstick · 09/08/2021 21:28

Your DP is practically vertical he's so chilled, do you mean horizontal, or are you still thinking about his erection?

🤣🤣

SleepingStandingUp · 09/08/2021 21:30

Well considering you'd just had discrete sex, its lucky he only saw a naked man not the naked man doing rude things to his mother.