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Original poster

14 yr old DS walked in on my DP naked, how do I handle this.

267 replies

StrawberryShortcakeAndTea · 09/08/2021 20:38

I’ve been with DP 5 years he’s quite and shy.
DS has gotten into the habit of knocking and walking straight into my bedroom when DP is out or in his office and he thinks I’m alone.

DS thought DP was out (he was about to go out, he had been getting ready to leave hadn’t left yet as we got ‘distracted’.
DP was completely undressed when DS knocked and immediately opened the door, I shouted and DP dashed into the bathroom but it was too late as he was literally stood right in full view of the door.

DS apologised and ran to his room
DP was embarrassed and furious, he got dressed straight away and left the house.
I went and told DS you never walk into someone’s room without knocking and waiting for a response he looked embarrassed but didn’t say anything.

How do I handle this.
My first instinct is to give DS a lecture about privacy and to brush it off as one of those things, but DP is shy and I know him, he will be really upset and embarrassed.

What can I do to make this less of an awful situation?

OP posts:
Kittykat93 · 09/08/2021 20:55

Obviously your house and everything but why are you having sex in the day with your son nearby who could walk in anytime ? Why not wait till bedtime or first thing.

Redglitter · 09/08/2021 20:55

I think first thing is stop making it into something it's not. There's nothing to handle. You've done it. You've told your son not to walk in in future. That's all you need to do

lunar1 · 09/08/2021 20:57

Your partner isn't that shy if he's having sex in the day with the door unlocked when children are home.

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MistyFrequencies · 09/08/2021 20:57

This is crazy. It's fucking weird that this is even a topic of discussion. It's just a penis. Half the population has one. Just forget about it and move on.

Miniestelle · 09/08/2021 20:57

So by 'distracted' You mean you were shagging? BU for doing that when 14 year old son is likely to walk in, what do you expect? Anyway it's a none event. I'm sure your son knows what a naked man looks like. And BU for your partner to be 'furious'

Shirleyphallus · 09/08/2021 20:57

Really?! Shock

idontlikealdi · 09/08/2021 20:57

@StrawberryShortcakeAndTea

DP is very shy, he won’t even walk around the house without a T-shirt on, I think he’s just very embarrassed.

We had just been intimate and he was, er, still, somewhat ‘happy’.
I think that is a big part of why it’s such an embarrassing situation for him.

Oh this is just grim. Get a ducking lock or wait until your kid goes out.
Hen2018 · 09/08/2021 20:58

What would the “lecture” be for? Going into a room of his own house in the early evening?

Inthemuckheap · 09/08/2021 20:58

Oh my goodness what a palaver over nothing! DS is 14 and your DP is male.

Complete non-event.

Hoppinggreen · 09/08/2021 20:58

I think the adult in this situation should get the fuck over themselves
Total over reaction, he turned something very minor that could have been handled with “oops I’m sorry “ and “ok but please do knock in future” into a huge deal.
Your poor child

Azilliondegrees · 09/08/2021 20:59

Your poor son. I would have been mortified at his age. I agree with PP that you need a lock if you’re going to be having sex in the day time. But I also agree that this is only an issue because you are all making it into one. Especially your DP.

Galassia · 09/08/2021 21:00

Unless he was masturbating into the vacuum cleaner the I hardly doubt the briefest of glimpsed is going to damage your sons mind.

As for your partner’s reaction to an incident that lasted seconds then he is being a huge drama queen.

Sweetpeasaremadeofcheese · 09/08/2021 21:00

DP was furious that someone saw him naked while he was walking around naked during the day? That's a bit like taking a shit in the living room and being furious that everyone is watching 😁

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 09/08/2021 21:01

Why were you shagging when your 14 year old was awake and in the house?? Grim. Hopefully this will teach you both to be more respectful and boundaried.

Miniestelle · 09/08/2021 21:02

Also BU for making your son feel awkward in his own home.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 09/08/2021 21:02

@MistyFrequencies

This is crazy. It's fucking weird that this is even a topic of discussion. It's just a penis. Half the population has one. Just forget about it and move on.
Yeah it was an erect penis. This is gross.
Regularsizedrudy · 09/08/2021 21:02

Your dp needs to get a grip

IDidntFloatUpTheLaganInABubble · 09/08/2021 21:03

When I was about the same age I did the same but walked in to see mum & stepdad having sex.

I was mortified as were they but after the make sure you knock and wait for a response chat it was never spoken of again and none of us have any long term damage from it!

FawkesThePhoenix · 09/08/2021 21:03

Lesson for you OP... dont shag whilst theres a 14 year old wondering around. Lesson for son...dont walk into moms bedroom as she may be shagging. That's it really.

episcomama · 09/08/2021 21:03

That was my thought too, TBH.

Original poster
StrawberryShortcakeAndTea · 09/08/2021 21:04

To address a few points.

The over reaction from your dp is concerning. Is he normally this hot headed?

He’s the least hot headed person the the planet, he’s so chilled he practically vertical, as they say.
His reaction was 100% out of embarrassment rather than anger, it’s my fault for wording it badly.

You have allowed him to do this 'knock-and-enter' thing

It’s a habit he started doing recently and he’s been told off for, the rule is if the door is open or pushed to it’s fine to come in, if it’s closed you knock, every time he had done it I have told him off for it because it is rude.

*This is a very very British response to nudity... 🤣

Fgs it's just a human body!*

Yes, and DS has been raised in a way to normalise (acceptable) nudity, I have no clue issue with him sitting and talking to me while I’m in the bath or getting dressed, it’s how I was raised and I think it’s healthy.

But DP was raised in a way that nudity is private and he is very shy,
he wouldn’t even walk around his parents house in his underwear as it’s ’not right’.

I really don’t think you should have sex during the day when you’re kids can walk in, seems a bit inappropriate tbh.

I’m my defence we are discrete, DS was playing on a games console two floors down so we didn’t think there was a risk of him hearing anything or walking in.

We obviously won’t make that mistake again.

OP posts:
BakewellGin1 · 09/08/2021 21:04

DP needs to get a grip.. If he's shagging or has his dick out in a teens house there is every chance he could be seen.

DS is in his own house. Usually he's allowed to go in the room. If you don't want to get caught in the act then put a lock on your door.

DS is probably mortified and won't enter again. Nothing needs 'handling'

DP needs to stop acting like a stroppy child.

heyyellowyellow · 09/08/2021 21:04

I want to give your laddie a big hug! He did nothing wrong. Your partner’s reaction is riddled with shame-response and I’d be wondering why that is. Most grown men would have found that situation quite funny and would probably try to have a conversation with your mortified son. Fury, walking out etc… give your son a hug, laugh about the situation, reassure it won’t happen again and then have a conversation with your partner to let him explain his over the top reaction.

Port1aCastis · 09/08/2021 21:04

@Regularsizedrudy

Your dp needs to get a grip
I think he already had a grip and that's the reason he was embarrassed
wishingitwasfriday · 09/08/2021 21:05

I think you need to put a lock on your door for times you are 'distracted' during the day when your child is at home.
Your partner has completely overreacted. You've already spoken to your son and so you just need to move on. He'll have learnt not to walk in without waiting for a response.