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Original poster

14 yr old DS walked in on my DP naked, how do I handle this.

267 replies

StrawberryShortcakeAndTea · 09/08/2021 20:38

I’ve been with DP 5 years he’s quite and shy.
DS has gotten into the habit of knocking and walking straight into my bedroom when DP is out or in his office and he thinks I’m alone.

DS thought DP was out (he was about to go out, he had been getting ready to leave hadn’t left yet as we got ‘distracted’.
DP was completely undressed when DS knocked and immediately opened the door, I shouted and DP dashed into the bathroom but it was too late as he was literally stood right in full view of the door.

DS apologised and ran to his room
DP was embarrassed and furious, he got dressed straight away and left the house.
I went and told DS you never walk into someone’s room without knocking and waiting for a response he looked embarrassed but didn’t say anything.

How do I handle this.
My first instinct is to give DS a lecture about privacy and to brush it off as one of those things, but DP is shy and I know him, he will be really upset and embarrassed.

What can I do to make this less of an awful situation?

OP posts:
Butchyrestingface · 09/08/2021 21:06

We had just been intimate and he was, er, still, somewhat ‘happy’.

Why didn't you lock the door?

RosettaPebble · 09/08/2021 21:06

Your poor son. He walked into a room in his own home and now your partner is furious? Why the heck were you being intimate where a 14 year old could walk in? Locks are cheap.

Your partners reaction is concerning. I wouldn’t want that around my son in his home. He shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells because the adults can’t have sex at an appropriate time.

episcomama · 09/08/2021 21:06

@episcomama

That was my thought too, TBH.
Quote fail - I agree that it's grim to be having sex during the day when your teenage son could just walk in - rather belies your claim that your boyfriend is "shy".

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
ranboo · 09/08/2021 21:07

you've established a norm where he knocks then walks in. how was he supposed to know that your partner was naked when he expected that he'd left already?

your son hasn't done anything wrong. your partner is obviously embarrassed, but blaming your son is ridiculous.

Sirzy · 09/08/2021 21:07

From the language you have used here I guess you are part of the issue with the embarrassment all around

PlanDeRaccordement · 09/08/2021 21:07

I went and told DS you never walk into someone’s room without knocking and waiting for a response he looked embarrassed but didn’t say anything.

I think you’ve done a fine job of handling it already. No need to extend the excruciating embarrassment for both DS and DP.

RosettaPebble · 09/08/2021 21:08

Cross posted

itsgettingwierd · 09/08/2021 21:09

I'm pretty sure ds doesn't need a lecture.

I'm very sure he'll knock and wait in future before entering anyone's private space Wink

Everyone just needs to move on. You can be embarrassed by this forever.

Kanaloa · 09/08/2021 21:09

You make your son get naked as well so they both suffer the same embarrassment.

Or you just accept that these things sometimes happen, they’re embarrassing, and your son will knock and wait in the future.

Faevern · 09/08/2021 21:10

Your DP is practically vertical he's so chilled, do you mean horizontal, or are you still thinking about his erection?

It's still your fault, shagging when you know your DS has a habit of walking in. He's not going to do it again.

Flumo · 09/08/2021 21:10

Hes going to think he should be shy/embarrassed about his body, think you need to be talking to him about that 🤔

SparklingLime · 09/08/2021 21:11

All this talk about your DP being shy, quiet and “distracted”, when actually the issue is that you and he were having sex while your DS could have walked in. This isn’t a boundary issue for your DS as much as it is for you and your DP.

For your DP to react to his embarrassment by stropping off is ridiculous - he (and you) made the decision to have sex while your DS was up and about, and without a lock.

Your first response to “lecture” your son is disturbing - the fault for your DP’s upset does not lie with your DS.

The fact that you cannot bring yourself to state what actually happened in your first post, and cannot bring yourself to say the words sex or erection is telling.

Your poor DS is being shamed for interrupting the aftermath of adult sexual behaviour that he couldn’t possibly have expected to witness.

FortunesFave · 09/08/2021 21:11

All those who think having sex in the day is grim...when do you do it then??

If you work a lot and are tired at night, it's not often on the cards. Then you'd never have it if you discounted the day!

Obviously toddlers etc go to bed early but bloody teens are always there! You don't get ANY privacy...none in the evening either.

Ragwort · 09/08/2021 21:11

There's a bit of a difference between unexpectedly seeing someone naked and walking in on a post sex session ... I have a teenager and would be hugely embarrassed if he caught DH and I having sex ... even if it was technically 'over' Grin.

TokyoSushi · 09/08/2021 21:11

So your DP has had a massive over reaction to another male glimpsing him naked, but doesn't mind at all about shagging during the day while a 14 year old is awake in the house... Hmm

Tempnamechanger321 · 09/08/2021 21:11

You need a new partner OP! It's ridiculous! Your poor DS.

Spaghetini · 09/08/2021 21:13

If you are having sex when children are at home and awake you need a lock and some boundaries.
This is on you and your partner, as others have said he wasn’t at all quiet and shy when getting down to it when kids are at home.
I would nip the ‘furious’ in the bud too before he says anything to your son. He shouldn’t have to be walking on eggshells in his own home. Grim.

Disfordarkchocolate · 09/08/2021 21:13

Furious seems a very odd reaction, even for someone very shy. It was an accident.

CiaoForNiao · 09/08/2021 21:13

he’s so chilled he practically vertical, as they say.

Pretty sure the saying is "so laid back he's horizontal"

But that aside, I'm sure DS won't do it again. And unless he stood having a good look I doubt he noticed DP was still erect.

IDontWantthisconsole · 09/08/2021 21:13

I still walk into my mums bedroom without knocking when she's getting changed and I haven't lived with her for nearly 10 years, I've been known to sit in the bathroom chatting to her while she has a shower. Similarly my DD will follow me and see me naked and I know she's walked in on Ex-MIL and Ex-SIL in the shower a few times.

My dad sometimes forgets I'm not a kid anymore and whips his tshirt or trousers off in front of me, he laughs it off when he realises.

ExH is the same around DD, forgets she's there and gets changed.

Surely we're just normal? It's a body, nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of.

NichyNoo · 09/08/2021 21:13

Your poor son! Please don’t let your DP project his Victorian attitudes to nudity onto your son.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 09/08/2021 21:13

@FortunesFave

All those who think having sex in the day is grim...when do you do it then??

If you work a lot and are tired at night, it's not often on the cards. Then you'd never have it if you discounted the day!

Obviously toddlers etc go to bed early but bloody teens are always there! You don't get ANY privacy...none in the evening either.

Not when my teen is awake in the house Like ever. We have sex after he's asleep or at my boyfriend's house. It's really not ok to fuck when you have teens awake in the house.
WetBench · 09/08/2021 21:14

Why have you not got a lock? Surely that’s the answer?

AlternativePerspective · 09/08/2021 21:15

Not on to be having sex during the day when your children are around. Not even with a lock on the door.

Because without a lock the kids can walk in, and if it’s locked then the kids know what you’re up to. And at 14 they really don’t want or need to know that.

ThankYouStavros · 09/08/2021 21:17

Feel really sorry for your son. Furious at an accident. Jesus Christ.