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Original poster

14 yr old DS walked in on my DP naked, how do I handle this.

267 replies

StrawberryShortcakeAndTea · 09/08/2021 20:38

I’ve been with DP 5 years he’s quite and shy.
DS has gotten into the habit of knocking and walking straight into my bedroom when DP is out or in his office and he thinks I’m alone.

DS thought DP was out (he was about to go out, he had been getting ready to leave hadn’t left yet as we got ‘distracted’.
DP was completely undressed when DS knocked and immediately opened the door, I shouted and DP dashed into the bathroom but it was too late as he was literally stood right in full view of the door.

DS apologised and ran to his room
DP was embarrassed and furious, he got dressed straight away and left the house.
I went and told DS you never walk into someone’s room without knocking and waiting for a response he looked embarrassed but didn’t say anything.

How do I handle this.
My first instinct is to give DS a lecture about privacy and to brush it off as one of those things, but DP is shy and I know him, he will be really upset and embarrassed.

What can I do to make this less of an awful situation?

OP posts:
FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 10/08/2021 01:14

@JuniperJamie

I would totally handle this with a bit of humour. When they’re both in the kitchen tomorrow, ask them if they’d like a bit of sausage for dinner 😆
I'd probably get my DP (if I had one 😂) to wear a pair of fake tits the next day at breakfast or something
FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 10/08/2021 01:16

As an aside OP is your DO shy about just his body or a shy person in general?

If it's the latter it mustn't be easy for your son to have someone who barely speaks living in the house, your DP needs to do something about that

Mamanyt · 10/08/2021 01:30

You already handled it with DS, and getting an eyeful that he could have lived without drove that home better than anything you could say.

As for DP, when you talk to him, do not make a big deal out of this. It happens. I'd suggest something along the lines of, "Well, THAT won't happen again, and aren't you glad that DS isn't DD?"

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SamiReed1 · 10/08/2021 02:44

You were the one who taught your son to enter immediately after knocking. That was a silly thing to do, so this is on you. NONE of this is your son's fault. None of it. He only did what you trained him to do. The proper thing for a mother to do is teach her DC to knock and wait for an answer. Knocking does absolutely nothing and is pointless if you are just going to enter without even waiting for an answer. What is the point in knocking if you're just going to barge straight in without waiting for an answer? It's rather redundant isn't it? You knock and WAIT. That is what you should have trained him to do. So this is all on you and your very bad advice/training.

Your first instinct should be to be embarrassed that you messed up badly and taught him wrongly. Your second instinct should be to go to your son and give him a hug, reassure him he did NOTHING WRONG, he only followed what you taught him and you are sorry because you didn't train him to wait.

Lastly, tell your DP to get the pole out of his arse and grow up. He can't be too shy if he's going to the gym! I don't buy it. It takes guts to go to the gym, and a certain vulnerability. He's not shy. He has severe hangups and issues that he needs to deal with. Your son should not be made to feel he has done anything wrong just because your DP is a weirdo with issues.

BeeOnADandelion · 10/08/2021 02:56

@StrawberryShortcakeAndTea

I’ve been with DP 5 years he’s quite and shy. DS has gotten into the habit of knocking and walking straight into my bedroom when DP is out or in his office and he thinks I’m alone.

DS thought DP was out (he was about to go out, he had been getting ready to leave hadn’t left yet as we got ‘distracted’.
DP was completely undressed when DS knocked and immediately opened the door, I shouted and DP dashed into the bathroom but it was too late as he was literally stood right in full view of the door.

DS apologised and ran to his room
DP was embarrassed and furious, he got dressed straight away and left the house.
I went and told DS you never walk into someone’s room without knocking and waiting for a response he looked embarrassed but didn’t say anything.

How do I handle this.
My first instinct is to give DS a lecture about privacy and to brush it off as one of those things, but DP is shy and I know him, he will be really upset and embarrassed.

What can I do to make this less of an awful situation?

Why are you dealing with it all? DP knows you have a DS and knows DC are awkward and thoughtless sometimes. I imagine you've apologised I behalf of DS. DS has also apologised himself, and you've told him off. Job done. Leave each of them to their own emotions and let them deal with them themselves. DP will either grow up a bit and get over it, or he won't and you'll know you're dealing with a man-child. DS I expect has probably learned his lesson.
SpiceWeaselBAM · 10/08/2021 03:29

All I can say is prioritise your son and his feelings. He is the child/developing teen who didn't choose this living situation, and your DP is an adult.

Do not get angry or even scold your DS. Just talk to him about it and see how he's feeling.

carwashy · 10/08/2021 05:15

Ah. Another shit bloke being pandered to instead of looking out for your kids. Lovely.

Twinsmum2003 · 10/08/2021 05:22

@SchrodingersMat

Your poor son. Not only has he had to see some naked bloke right after you’ve been wanking him off, he then gets a telling off from you and now you’re contemplating yet another lecture, as if he hasn’t got the message? All you seem to care about is your drama queen boyfriend’s delicate sensibilities, you don’t seem to give a shit about how your son might be feeling at all. Poor kid.
Yup this!
douliket · 10/08/2021 05:37

Sorry but why has no one mentioned the small fact that the op regularly has chats with her teen son while she is naked in the bath and he is perched at the side😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 am I missing something here,is this a normal thing to do, is ds not a bit old to be seeing his mum naked in the bath??? Surely that would be more weird than him walking in and seeing a naked man for a split second..seriously am I the only one that thinks that this is all too weird😳

Sally2791 · 10/08/2021 06:10

Poor ds, he is being made to think bodies and nudity are bad. The adults here need to lighten up.

RookieRoo · 10/08/2021 06:25

@TonytheDog

Your partner sounds like a child. Go and apologise to your actual child and tell him he's done nothing wrong. Then tell your partner to grow the fuck up - because he should have gone and spoken to your son immediately and said 'sorry, that was a bit embarrassing' and smoothed things over not stormed off. Get a lock or a door stop.
Really not sure why on earth your partner should apologise to your son for being naked in his own room, door closed, and your son walking in without being invited. Surely this is how the younger generation are becoming entitled etc. as adults are apologising to them when they've done nothing wrong and, actually, your son is at fault.

I agree he won't do it again, but certainly if I had a DP with a teen daughter and she walked in and saw me naked, I would feel the same as your DP so I can understand his reaction.

It is a matter of telling your son not to enter private places without an invite and, as mentioned, a lock is definitely beneficial.

RookieRoo · 10/08/2021 06:27

@douliket

Sorry but why has no one mentioned the small fact that the op regularly has chats with her teen son while she is naked in the bath and he is perched at the side😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 am I missing something here,is this a normal thing to do, is ds not a bit old to be seeing his mum naked in the bath??? Surely that would be more weird than him walking in and seeing a naked man for a split second..seriously am I the only one that thinks that this is all too weird😳
Yeah my initial thought was "but what if he walked in and his mum was naked?!" And to think he sits and talks whilst she's dressing and bathing gives me shudders, but I thought maybe it's normal and I'm too prudish. Glad it's not just me!!
tara66 · 10/08/2021 06:33

Yes - the chatting to DS if you are naked in bath is unusual - also would say get a catch on your bedroom door - or live in separate houses perhaps (you and DP).

itsadodgyholidaywithme · 10/08/2021 06:49

@Faevern

You keep changing your response rather than accept you have both overreacted. The only thing that needs handling is your DP’s reaction.

And on that note will pp stop telling the DP to get a grip Grin

I read this as "the only thing that needs handling is your DP's erection"😮😂😂🤦🏻‍♀️
MrsSkylerWhite · 10/08/2021 06:56

Walking around in underwear in his own home is “not right”? That’s one seriously uptight person.

Polkadots2021 · 10/08/2021 07:00

@StrawberryShortcakeAndTea

I’ve been with DP 5 years he’s quite and shy. DS has gotten into the habit of knocking and walking straight into my bedroom when DP is out or in his office and he thinks I’m alone.

DS thought DP was out (he was about to go out, he had been getting ready to leave hadn’t left yet as we got ‘distracted’.
DP was completely undressed when DS knocked and immediately opened the door, I shouted and DP dashed into the bathroom but it was too late as he was literally stood right in full view of the door.

DS apologised and ran to his room
DP was embarrassed and furious, he got dressed straight away and left the house.
I went and told DS you never walk into someone’s room without knocking and waiting for a response he looked embarrassed but didn’t say anything.

How do I handle this.
My first instinct is to give DS a lecture about privacy and to brush it off as one of those things, but DP is shy and I know him, he will be really upset and embarrassed.

What can I do to make this less of an awful situation?

Blimey your poor Ds, that was the over reaction of the century. You'll give the poor kid a complex that being naked or human bodies are something to be ashamed of. This is totally your DPs problem, sorry.
Polkadots2021 · 10/08/2021 07:05

@StrawberryShortcakeAndTea

DP is very shy, he won’t even walk around the house without a T-shirt on, I think he’s just very embarrassed.

We had just been intimate and he was, er, still, somewhat ‘happy’.
I think that is a big part of why it’s such an embarrassing situation for him.

Omg, having just read this part, your poor DS, can't believe he had to see that and you're then all shouting at him. FGS OP!!!!
JuniperJuno · 10/08/2021 07:07

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop 😂😂😂

pinkmoon18 · 10/08/2021 07:08

Not your DS fault

If your DP is that shy get a lock on the room.

SingingInTheShithouse · 10/08/2021 07:09

Massive over reaction. We are born naked, it is our natural state. It shouldn't be such a big deal. It's not like your DP was playing dick helicopters & comparing tge size of his manhood is it Confused

Honestly, you've dealt with it just fine

ajja2021 · 10/08/2021 07:09

He's 14 not a child. He should wait for a response after knocking before walking in. I also think DP is massively overreacting, get a lock on your bedroom door if it's going to be that much of an issue and have a chat with DS about not just knocking and bouncing straight in.

Embarrassing for both but easy enough to get over

NotMyselfWithoutCoffee · 10/08/2021 07:22

Jesus what a family of prudes.
Has your dp ever been in a changing room? It's a non issue, nudity is nothing to be ashamed about.
Doubt he will need a telling off as the sight of your dps willy probably scarred him enough. Grin

longwayoff · 10/08/2021 07:28

Another non-event in the Mumsnet day and its not even 8am. Tell your son everyone has a naked body underneath their clothes. I hope that doesn't shock everyone too much. And also tell him to wait to be admitted after knocking on a door, any door, even one in your own house.

cricketmum84 · 10/08/2021 07:41

Total overreaction. My 16yo walked in on me naked a few weeks back I just started shouting "naked mum naked mum"!!

We were both a bit embarrassed but nobody was furious!!

Arsebucket · 10/08/2021 07:43

Oh lord, I think this has happened twice with ds and my dh (his step dad) when ds was a younger teen.

It was just “oh crap, sorry!” and laughed off.