14 yr old DS walked in on my DP naked, how do I handle this.

[StrawberryShortcakeAndTea]

I’ve been with DP 5 years he’s quite and shy.
DS has gotten into the habit of knocking and walking straight into my bedroom when DP is out or in his office and he thinks I’m alone.

DS thought DP was out (he was about to go out, he had been getting ready to leave hadn’t left yet as we got ‘distracted’.
DP was completely undressed when DS knocked and immediately opened the door, I shouted and DP dashed into the bathroom but it was too late as he was literally stood right in full view of the door.

DS apologised and ran to his room
DP was embarrassed and furious, he got dressed straight away and left the house.
I went and told DS you never walk into someone’s room without knocking and waiting for a response he looked embarrassed but didn’t say anything.

How do I handle this.
My first instinct is to give DS a lecture about privacy and to brush it off as one of those things, but DP is shy and I know him, he will be really upset and embarrassed.

What can I do to make this less of an awful situation?

You said he was furious. I would be very concerned about a grown man being furious in this situation.

I know you have now back tracked on that statement, but you said the word.

Is that man mature enough to be living in a household with children? He sounds like a bit of a strange fish.

You live in a busy household, you have no locks on doors, someone will walk in on someone. That’s family. He really needs to grow up and get over himself.

And if he indeed was furious he needs to do some soul searching. Make sure he doesn’t take it out on your son.

So your partner is shy and embarrassed because your son walked in on him naked but it’s fine to have sex when a teenager is in the house and awake and could walk in 🤔

It's actively harmful for teenagers to be exposed to sexual activity between their parents.

What? From one extreme to the other with this comment!

DS wasn't standing there watching.

Your DP needs to get a grip.

It’s your son’s home, from the inference left immediately it sounds like he doesn’t like there?

It was an accident and your son probably feels as embarrassed as the partner

Well he'll know now. He will prrobably have a complex about opening a closed door for the next decade Time for you all to get on with pretending it never happened...

Your partner sounds like a child. Go and apologise to your actual child and tell him he's done nothing wrong. Then tell your partner to grow the fuck up - because he should have gone and spoken to your son immediately and said 'sorry, that was a bit embarrassing' and smoothed things over not stormed off.
Get a lock or a door stop.

@Clymene

The only people at fault here are you and your partner for having sex with the door unlocked when there are children in the house.

Yep this. It's really fucking grim.

You and your partner are being really dramatic about it.

@user1471462428

I really don’t think you should have sex during the day when you’re kids can walk in, seems a bit inappropriate tbh.

This

@Miniestelle

Also BU for making your son feel awkward in his own home.

And this

I don’t think there is anything wrong with having sex while your kids are in the house, as long as they don’t know what you are doing.

But your DS does now know that you and your DP were having sexual activity. He knocked and walked in on the aftermath because you had taken no precautions other than ‘he’s not likely to be passing’.

Even worse, you then appear to blame your DS for your DP’s immature reaction. Your priorities are off.

@TheVolturi

Unless you were doing it or something then why make such a big deal? He's 14! He won't do it again!

Exactly.

I remember walking out of the bathroom naked and one of my son's friends was on the landing. I learned not to do that again (he was a little boy and had no doubt seen his mum).

Your son will realise you don't go into bedrooms without knocking and waiting for an answer, you also should knock and wait before entering his, but to make more of it will cause embarrassment. Your partner is a man after all and your son knows what a man looks like, it sounds like partner over reacted.

Such things happen in families, just put it behind you.

@EarringsandLipstick

It's actively harmful for teenagers to be exposed to sexual activity between their parents.

What? From one extreme to the other with this comment!

DS wasn't standing there watching.

Exposure to parental sexual behaviour can be a catalyst for developing harmful sexual behaviour in adolescents. Obviously this doesn't mean it will definitely cause him harm but it's not a minor thing.

@Sirzy

From the language you have used here I guess you are part of the issue with the embarrassment all around

This.

What conversations have you had with your DS about erections and sex? Can you bring yourself to use those words? My mum couldn't, nor periods, nor anything like that and it really made my life awkward as a teen. Everything was smutty and to be embarrassed about. Nothing could be talked about. I'm in my 40s now and we still can't have adult conversations about anything like that.

It's not healthy.

You keep changing your response rather than accept you have both overreacted. The only thing that needs handling is your DP’s reaction.

And on that note will pp stop telling the DP to get a grip

Put a lock on your door.

No big deal. He saw a naked man. So what?

Don't go making your son feel uncomfortable in his own home. The adults here need to grow up a bit.

Your DP either gets over himself or doesn't stay over when your kid's there. Or stops grappling with you when he's around and over reacting at being caught with his pants down. Kid not at fault.

‘He’s so chilled he’s practically vertical’ is the BEST part of this thread, thank you for making me laugh, OP. In terms of the nakedness issue, your son certainly won’t be making that mistake again haha!

This story reminds me of the time my friend and me were so giggly and loud one night on a sleepover, that my mother stormed into my room butt-naked and started shouting at us. She was so furious and gesticulating so much that her boobs were bouncing around everywhere. Me and my friend still laugh about it. My mum doesn’t remember it but thinks it’s hilarious and exactly the sort of thing she’d do!

This is nothing to get 'furious' about.

Look, just diffuse the issue. It was an accident. Your ds wasn’t to know. Surely just laugh it off, in a “fuck that was awkward” kind of way, and get a lock, or ensure your dp changes in the bathroom.

Not such a big deal. At least they are same sex, so no surprises there! It would be worst if you had a DD or his DS caught you naked.
These things happen, and nudity itself is nothing scary or harmful.
Next, knock, wait, the enter slowly

@StrawberryShortcakeAndTea - Firstly, sorry everyone is giving u such a hard time on this thread. I do think getting a lock in the bedroom would be ideal just because it eliminates the risk of being walked in on in the future.

Your DP will get over it by the time he’s back and DD has learned his lesson so will no longer walk in without knocking and then waiting to be invited in.

Don’t beat yourselves up, just let it be and it’ll work itself out x

Sorry I meant DS

Your DP's reaction is really worrying. It's embarrassing yes, but way way worse for your DS. The fact that your partner was "furious" and left the house is extremely worrying. How is he going to get past this? I can't believe you're both blaming your son, especially as he did what you'd asked and knocked before he opened the door! I guess he didn't really understand the purpose of that until now, but he hasn't actually done anything wrong. Your DP on the other hand is acting really strangely and sounds a bit creepy.

What you should do is that you and your partner should apologise to your son and you should not be having a bit of a grope when your son could walk in. Please prioritise your son and not your partner here.