3 children, let’s call them A, B, and C. Currently they each have their own room but we are moving to a 3 bed house (although the overall size of the house is bigger). Two of the children will need to share.
Child A: Has ASD, very quiet, insular. Intolerant of others. Attends a specialist secondary school. Does not want to share a room with anyone. Has sleep issues and is often awake half the night.
Child B: Neurotypical. Also secondary school age. Has recently started to spend time with Child A in Child A’s room (Child A appears happier and more animated when with Child B, but will unpredictability ‘snap’ and scream at Child B to leave). Child B is happy at the idea of sharing with Child A but does not want to share with Child C.
Child C: Has ASD and ADHD. Very loud, talks incessantly. Very friendly and dislikes being alone. Has some annoying habits and can be destructive. Primary school age (mainstream). Would absolutely love to share with Child B (often tries to sleep in Child B’s room already). Child B and Child C used to share but we separated them three years ago (and lost our home office) due to Child C’s sleep issues which are now largely resolved.
In a nutshell: Child A wants to share with no one. Child B wants to share with Child A but not Child C. Child C wants to share with Child B.
Advantage of putting A and B together is they are closer in age and B seems to help A with social interaction. It could be beneficial long-term for A to learn to tolerate others more, be less insular, and learn to compromise.
However, A has sleep issues which could impact on B. Also, A is prone to volatile outbursts, they don’t want to share and are becoming increasingly agitated at the idea of moving, so I don’t want create too much additional stress. I also worry if I put A and B together that C would be constantly trying to get in their room as they would feel left out.
C would love to share with B, but I worry they wouldn’t give B a minutes peace! C likes to play Lego and if C has own room they would have plenty of floor space for Lego (and to play). If C shares with B then the two beds would take up most of the floor area (Bunk beds not good idea, C has broken two sets previously).
Initially, I had decided to put A and B together. However, after taking A to visit the new house yesterday I’m thinking perhaps I should put B and C together. The main issue I think is the floor space - C would use the space to play but A wouldn’t utilise the space at all. In any scenario B would be given a work space away from the bedrooms for homework.
WWYD?