How’s this for entitled..?

[TheLightSideOfTheMoon]

22 year old colleague/friend, injury, I won’t go into it.

No one to drive her to A&E. My DP drives her there (with me). I sit with her for almost 8 hours waiting to be seen.

Eventually I tell her that I need to go home (I needed medication I’d left behind), I’ll sort out a lift for her in the morning (A&E about 15 miles away), but pretty sure she’ll be admitted.

Roll on early this morning. She’s been discharged.

My DP can’t pick her up so I tell her I will pay for a taxi (probably about £50).

Her mother then contacts me. Absolutely fuming that her daughter is ‘stranded’. I point out that I offered to pay for a taxi but for some reason that doesn’t count.

I tell her to jog on.

Another load of shitty messages from the colleague for telling said mother to jog on.

Seriously?

I spend most of the night in A&E with someone looking after them and there’s no thanks, just a barrage of abuse from their mother.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Is it me? Seriously. Am I in the wrong?

Or are people just like this now?

No thanks for sitting 8 hours with her? Seriously tell this cheeky fucker to get to fuck

What do other Nationalities do? Any tips for me?

Well, in New York we would have told her to Fuhgeddaboudit when asked for the lift to A&E.

Think no more about it - just chalk it down to experience! They both sound like tits! I have no idea why anyone would have considered you responsible for her transport home from hospital and you had already done her a massive favour taking her in the first place.

I'd a colleague once who became ill in work. One of the guys offered to take her home (30-ish miles, so 60 round trip) but she asked me to do it (suspect she didn't want the arrogant, materialistic twat seeing her parents' house!). Now I didn't do it for reward, but tbh if that had been me, I would have offered petrol money/bought a small gift to say thanks, but it was never mentioned again.

On another occasion, I had spoken to a junior member of staff re behaviour. She was in her early 20s too. Her mother rang me to scold me for telling her off!!!!! I very politely informed her that she wasn't our employee and hence it was none of her business!

If she relies on you for support, both financial and emotional, then maybe she doesn’t get it from her mother, maybe that’s why the mother was annoyed, you just failed to do what she has failed to do for years, except you’re not the girls mother.

Honestly this is a gift because if you every doubted her before ,you have now seen them for what they are and with out any re dress you can fuck them off guilt free .

Yes, time to work on yourself now. Find those boundaries…

You are so right when you say "No good deed goes unpunished". Her entitled behaviour puts people off doing favours for others. Don't let it. Keep being nice - but not to this CF.

You've been more than reasonable, you've gone above and beyond really. Tbf if I were with a colleague who was clearly unwell/injured and I were able to take them to A&E I almost certainly would. But I wouldn't expect that to automatically translate to picking them up again in the morning. And you even offered to pay for a taxi, and that wasn't good enough?! Wtf!

The real irony being that I'm sure if your husband had been available, you probably would have sent him. Ie you have done absolutely everything in your power to help this fully grown woman. Some people are just awful.

Sadly sometimes the more you do for people the more they expect.

This sounds very strange: not just rude and entitled, but almost delusional. I myself don't drive for medical reasons, but I would get and pay for my own taxi. Why was she at A&E? Why is her mother involved? There are, I suppose, possible reasons why her mother might have panicked at her being on her own- but what would have happened if you'd not been around at all? It sounds like a much stranger situation than anything explainable just as politeness or rudeness.

Totally entitled. If an ambulance had taken her to A&E, she would have also needed to sort her own transport upon discharge too.

This has changed your view of her, yourself & life in general. Give yourself some 'down time' to allow your brain to process all of this; don't worry about wasting a day or so, because it hasn't been a waste. You've learned some valuable lessons which will improve your life in the future.

---

I used to work on a confidential helpline, back in the days when most people had a landline & calling a mobile number from a landline was very expensive. We were called by a young woman using her mobile because she didn't have a landline, who wanted us to call her back to save her money, as it would be a series of long calls. Our staff refused because the charity didn't have the money to do that. We then had her mother calling & haranguing us because we 'should' spend our charity's money calling her daughter. Er, why not let her use your landline, missus, or pay her mobile bills for her, if you're that bothered?

It's done. Say your piece to them about their ingratitude and then block.

Don't put yourself out in future.

Jeez @TheLightSideOfTheMoon you give people an inch and they take a mile. You’ve not only done nothing wrong, you and your family went out of your way to be made to feel shitty. It beggars belief. Try to put it (& especially them) all behind you now. Be civil at work but no more favours.

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon

You are the sort of person that everyone wishes we knew

It just shows how the other person could have fallen through the cracks

So many questions, why would you offer to pay her taxi, why spend the night with her, why wasn't her family called . Normal friend would take her to hospital she/you would call her family that would take over allowing you to go home and carry on with your life after a couple of hours.

Everyone asking why you offered to pay her taxi, I can see why. It was you that forgot your meds and so had no choice but to "abandon" her. But, come on! You gave her 8 hours of your company! That was plenty and you didn't owe her more.
Don't feel bad about this "error", be glad you see her for how she is

Jesus, what a piss take. Never mind a taxi, I wouldn’t have splashed her the bus fare. You did your bit, hopefully they’ll be embarrassed enough to see that in time.

Well done for blocking.

@tallduckandhandsome

Is there anyone more doormatty than us Brits? I honestly don't know any of my international friends who would put up with this.

I don’t know anyone in real life that would put up its this, UK or abroad.

How did the mother get your number? Also does your friend know that her mother is sending them nasty messages she may not even know? I would not pay 50.00 for a cab for someone that was up to her to sort out.

She's not your friend and you saved £50

It sounds like in this case the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Both your colleague and her mother have terrible manners and should be thanking you.

You did the right thing in blocking her and telling them to jog on. How entirely embarrassing for the two of them.

Her mother is rude. Why can't her mother pick her up or the girl can pay for her own taxi?

@listsandbudgets

If they kept her waiting 8 hours it wasn't serious enough for your to wait with her that long let alone sort out her journey home. She can sort herself out, she's a grown up and so presumably is her mum.

I once had to pay £70 for a taxi from A&E, having also been given a lift there - it was a long way through country lanes and the driver stopped 3 times for me to be sick as I reacted to the morphine they'd given me. He even provided mints and wet wipes. It was rubbish and meant fairly basic food shopping that week but all I wanted to do was go home to bed and gobble down pain killers.

Oh bless you

I’d of given you W lift

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon. I’m the exact same as you. Id do anything for anyone. Then I get upset when the favour is never returned. Which it never is. Because people aren’t as nice as me. It’s taken me 40 years to realise that if I offer something. That I never want to have it returned.

It’s a hard pill to swallow. It really is. I get that. So huge hand hold x

I'd unblock them both. Send them a joint message reading the riot act. Then block them again. You need some catharsis OP.