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Original poster

How’s this for entitled..?

266 replies

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 27/07/2021 08:54

22 year old colleague/friend, injury, I won’t go into it.

No one to drive her to A&E. My DP drives her there (with me). I sit with her for almost 8 hours waiting to be seen.

Eventually I tell her that I need to go home (I needed medication I’d left behind), I’ll sort out a lift for her in the morning (A&E about 15 miles away), but pretty sure she’ll be admitted.

Roll on early this morning. She’s been discharged.

My DP can’t pick her up so I tell her I will pay for a taxi (probably about £50).

Her mother then contacts me. Absolutely fuming that her daughter is ‘stranded’. I point out that I offered to pay for a taxi but for some reason that doesn’t count.

I tell her to jog on.

Another load of shitty messages from the colleague for telling said mother to jog on.

Seriously?

I spend most of the night in A&E with someone looking after them and there’s no thanks, just a barrage of abuse from their mother.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Is it me? Seriously. Am I in the wrong?

Or are people just like this now?

OP posts:
1WayOrAnother2 · 27/07/2021 15:14

I'm glad you've blocked her and her mother!
No you were not unreasonable. You were kind and your kindness was abused.

This would be a very good time to start working on your inner lioness.

Begin working on the word that is not 'yes' and get used to using it without further excuse or qualification. (In well-known mumsnet: that word is a complete sentence.)

Think ahead to the next demand (passive or otherwise) likely to be put in front of you. Imagine firmly and gently refusing/ignoring. Do this a few times a day.

NewlyGranny · 27/07/2021 15:35

I would tell work colleagues the story with a calm demeanour, a wry smile and a glance at the screen-shotted texts. Get in first so moaning Matilda the entitled gets short shrift form everyone.

You can bet your colleagues already know two things: how obliging and helpful you are and how entitled and ungrateful your colleague is.

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 27/07/2021 15:53

@NewlyGranny

I would tell work colleagues the story with a calm demeanour, a wry smile and a glance at the screen-shotted texts. Get in first so moaning Matilda the entitled gets short shrift form everyone.

You can bet your colleagues already know two things: how obliging and helpful you are and how entitled and ungrateful your colleague is.

Don't stoop to this, it's beneath you. Gossiping / telling tales about crap like this only makes the person telling the story look bad.

Say nothing, and just be honest if it gets raised.

Original poster
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 27/07/2021 16:16

Yeah, I have no intention of mentioning it at work.

CBA.

I’m still mightily pissed off though.

I ordered the books mentioned upthread and another one about boundaries which was recommended.

OP posts:
WildfirePonie · 27/07/2021 16:39

snowed our manager would have to pick us up

Does she live with you? Why does the manager have to pick you both up?

I'd drop her like a hot potato! Who needs people like this in their life? No good deed goes unpunished OP.

noirchatsdeux · 27/07/2021 17:06

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon While I was waiting in A&E there was a middle aged man who was trying to get the nurses and A&E reception staff to get him a taxi - that the hospital would pay for. In the end they got so fed up with him they sent a senior nurse out to tell him in no uncertain terms - in front of the whole waiting room - that it wasn't going to happen and that the hospital weren't running a free taxi service. Obviously he was fully mobile, in no pain and more than capable of getting his own taxi, he just didn't want to have to pay for it...

WildfirePonie · 27/07/2021 17:15

I've read the full thread now - well done on blocking them both OP Flowers

Original poster
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 27/07/2021 17:25

I’ve wasted an entire day being upset/angry about these twats.

Pretty much moped about all day.

How do I get over it?

OP posts:
PieceOfString · 27/07/2021 17:30

You think that you are glad that they revealed the depths of their crap attitudes so you need never feel tempted to offer any kind of assistance to them ever again. The way they have acted tells you a lot about them and that's useful. Maybe it will be a catalyst for you to consider trying to adjust the upkeep of your own personal boundaries. You want to be kind and lovely because that's an asset and quality to be varied but you don't want to be taken for a mug. If this experience helps you firm that up it might be a good one looking back.

WildfirePonie · 27/07/2021 17:36

Colleague will message me a lot saying how sad and lonely she is. It’s actually quite exhausting.

She does it late at night when she knows I have work in the morning.

How good does it feel to know you never have to read her exhausting messages?

Enjoy feeling lighter OP, this colleague was like an anchor around your neck.

She will move onto her next victim and suck the life out of them instead. She is a vampire and you're well rid. Ignore her at work, you do not owe her anything! She's not your problem at the end of the day.

knittingaddict · 27/07/2021 17:44

I'm surprised that you were allowed to sit with her in A and E at the moment. I thought all A and E departments had banned people coming with their ill/injured friends/family. It's one of the easiest ways to limit transmission in hospital and I thought it applied everywhere.

Original poster
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 27/07/2021 17:51

Nah, nearly everyone in there had a person with them.

Seats were taped up though so there were two metres between each pair of seats.

OP posts:
FayeFayeFayeFayeFaye · 27/07/2021 17:51

@diddl

I thought that hospital transport was for getting people to appointments that they otherwise wouldn't be able to get to.
Not for fully mobile 22 year olds who can get a taxi or relatives to pick them up. It is not what hospital transport is for. My 90 year Grandad with dementia gets hospital transport.

Neither should she have called an ambulance.

ShirleyDab · 27/07/2021 18:07

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon

I’ve wasted an entire day being upset/angry about these twats.

Pretty much moped about all day.

How do I get over it?

You get over it by squashing it out of your headspace with new 'events,' So things like going for a swim, a nature walk, for a run or to the cinema, seeing a friend etc. Anything different that fills your thinking space.
Imnothereforthedrama · 27/07/2021 18:15

Yes what a pair of entitled twats !! You’ll get over it op . If she does not thank you when you see her in work and apologise for her mother fuck her and never help her again . 8 hours at A&e till 2am do you know what I wouldn’t even expect my dh to stay with me that long unless my leg was hanging off but I’m not entitled like that .

1WayOrAnother2 · 27/07/2021 18:15

How to get over the waste of the day worrying about all this?

Regard it as useful freeing up of your sympathy bank. Their account is now closed.

BillyIsMyBunny · 27/07/2021 18:36

@knittingaddict

I'm surprised that you were allowed to sit with her in A and E at the moment. I thought all A and E departments had banned people coming with their ill/injured friends/family. It's one of the easiest ways to limit transmission in hospital and I thought it applied everywhere.
At my A&E people are now allowed one person with them in the waiting room but friends and family are not able to go with them into treatment rooms or if they get moved to an A&E bed (unless they are vulnerable and need a carer or need a translator etc). A few months ago they were stopping family/ friends from entering the waiting room too but when I attended earlier this week that wasn’t the case and the majority of people waiting and someone with them.
Notaroadrunner · 27/07/2021 18:42

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon

I’ve wasted an entire day being upset/angry about these twats.

Pretty much moped about all day.

How do I get over it?

You get over it by making this the first day where you are not so obliging to people. Again, you think about what you are willing to do for people and the consequences of doing it - it takes up your time, energy and maybe money. Are you willing to waste these on certain people? Once you read The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck you'll see what I mean.

This can be the turning point and when you say no to the next person looking to have a moan or looking for you to do something, you will feel a little bit liberated.

knittingaddict · 27/07/2021 18:51

Ok. I was wondering as I was in a and e with a broken wrist a couple of months or so ago and had to sit in there alone for hours.

BitterTits · 27/07/2021 20:13

@knittingaddict

Ok. I was wondering as I was in a and e with a broken wrist a couple of months or so ago and had to sit in there alone for hours.
That sounds like a disingenuous way of saying you were troll-hunting. Perhaps not though, I'm just wondering.
nannykatherine · 28/07/2021 17:31

Yes people are while this now ..
Why didn’t the mother sort this all out anyway and why can’t colleague pay for own taxi home ???

bondgirl76 · 28/07/2021 17:36

You did the right thing..dont waste anymore anxiety on it

huuuuunnnndderrricks · 28/07/2021 17:36

Jesus .. I'd tell the mother to go and get her ffs .. what is wrong with people !!!

munchkinman · 28/07/2021 17:40

No you are in the right. Sounds like the time my friend’s mother phoned me to say I was selfish for buying a 5 seater car for 3 of us her point bring I could not drive her daughter and 2 kids everywhere any longer 🙄

calvados · 28/07/2021 17:50

Good for you standing up for what you believed was the right thing to do. You went above and beyond helping out in a situation where family should have stepped in to assist and relieve you to go home. You also offered to pay for a taxi! The mother is a bully as is her daughter. You do not need friends like this. This is your first step in loving yourself. Well done 😘