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Original poster

How’s this for entitled..?

266 replies

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 27/07/2021 08:54

22 year old colleague/friend, injury, I won’t go into it.

No one to drive her to A&E. My DP drives her there (with me). I sit with her for almost 8 hours waiting to be seen.

Eventually I tell her that I need to go home (I needed medication I’d left behind), I’ll sort out a lift for her in the morning (A&E about 15 miles away), but pretty sure she’ll be admitted.

Roll on early this morning. She’s been discharged.

My DP can’t pick her up so I tell her I will pay for a taxi (probably about £50).

Her mother then contacts me. Absolutely fuming that her daughter is ‘stranded’. I point out that I offered to pay for a taxi but for some reason that doesn’t count.

I tell her to jog on.

Another load of shitty messages from the colleague for telling said mother to jog on.

Seriously?

I spend most of the night in A&E with someone looking after them and there’s no thanks, just a barrage of abuse from their mother.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Is it me? Seriously. Am I in the wrong?

Or are people just like this now?

OP posts:
thebeesknees123 · 27/07/2021 09:26

Why isn't her mother taking her home?

NeedToKnow101 · 27/07/2021 09:29

@mnahmnah

Taxi, not taco! Although a taco may have helped
Oh I want tacos now.
Enough4me · 27/07/2021 09:30

You gave the lift, which was really kind, but in staying for 8 hours when family should have come they have sloped shoulders of duty of care to you. Anyhow, as she is 22 and above 18 really she should be able to arrange and pay for her own taxi.

Would her family have been able to help arrange collection if they knew you were not offering a lift back though?
Is this part miscommunication/ misunderstanding?

NeedToKnow101 · 27/07/2021 09:31

I don't understand why she can't pay for her own taxi, or her mum? Or even get a bus?!!! What is the backstory here?

fluffythedragonslayer · 27/07/2021 09:37

This is bizarre! Why is this person your responsibility? Honestly she doesn't sound like a friend, she sounds like a user who is taking you for a bit of a mug. Walk away.

Original poster
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 27/07/2021 09:39

Not sure.

I’ve actually witnessed entitled behaviour from her before. Little things, like saying if it snowed our manager would have to pick us up or she won’t be working. Er, no. Put some wellies on.

I genuinely think that she believes that anyone with a car should be happy to drive her around.

Anyway, I’m laughing about it but I’m pretty bummed out. Don’t like arguing with people and I’m not used to getting unpleasant messages at 6.30am.

Was already shattered (got home from A&E at about 2am). Feeling pretty down. —And my period just started.—

OP posts:
PamTheSpam · 27/07/2021 09:42

You were very kind, some people just take the piss
Pour yourself a cuppa, put your feet up then tell us more about her CFuckness Grin

MyOtherProfile · 27/07/2021 09:44

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon

Not sure.

I’ve actually witnessed entitled behaviour from her before. Little things, like saying if it snowed our manager would have to pick us up or she won’t be working. Er, no. Put some wellies on.

I genuinely think that she believes that anyone with a car should be happy to drive her around.

Anyway, I’m laughing about it but I’m pretty bummed out. Don’t like arguing with people and I’m not used to getting unpleasant messages at 6.30am.

Was already shattered (got home from A&E at about 2am). Feeling pretty down. —And my period just started.—

I'm afraid you are feeding her sense of entitlement. I can't work out why you would offer to pay £50 for a taxi and take that level of responsibility. Please get some help for this - maybe read the Cloud and Townsend book on boundaries or try and get some counseling because this is a whole other level of people pleasing.
Howshouldibehave · 27/07/2021 09:47

If you already know she’s entitled, why did you decide it was your responsibility to take her to A and E and offer money to get her home??

What was wrong with her?

FittedSheet · 27/07/2021 09:48

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon

Not sure.

I’ve actually witnessed entitled behaviour from her before. Little things, like saying if it snowed our manager would have to pick us up or she won’t be working. Er, no. Put some wellies on.

I genuinely think that she believes that anyone with a car should be happy to drive her around.

Anyway, I’m laughing about it but I’m pretty bummed out. Don’t like arguing with people and I’m not used to getting unpleasant messages at 6.30am.

Was already shattered (got home from A&E at about 2am). Feeling pretty down. —And my period just started.—

Hang on, OP— how did the whole situation actually come to be your responsibility in the first place? Was she with you when she got injured? If not, why did she call you? Assuming she wasn’t badly hurt, or isn’t devoid of other friends and family, why did you stay eight hours with her, let alone pay a lot of money to get her home after her discharge?

Is she an unusually immature and helpless person?

Geamhradh · 27/07/2021 09:50

There has to be more to your relationship than colleague/friend.
Why on earth were you offering to pay for a taxi?

FittedSheet · 27/07/2021 09:51

And yes, OP, you need to take some responsibility for feeding her sense of entitlement, by behaving all night as if she was your sole responsibility.

Howshouldibehave · 27/07/2021 09:52

22 year old colleague/friend, injury, I won’t go into it

I think you ‘going into it’ would actually be massively helpful actually, in explaining why you felt the need to get your DH to drive this person to a hospital, why you decided to stay there for hours and why you offered £50 to get them home, to someone you already knew was entitled!!

Ronsmood · 27/07/2021 09:52

You went above and beyond OP. Why on earth are you responsible for her? They sound insane.

RaelImperialAerosolKid · 27/07/2021 09:52

You are the crazy one - mainly for not just dropping her off, and 8 hours !

Please tell us you are not now paying for the taxi!

HappydaysArehere · 27/07/2021 09:55

It’s a sad truth that some people believe that the more you do for them entitles them to expect more. The girl sounds remarkably immature and the mother is unbelievable unless her daughter has twisted the events in some way. You have done your bit so shake your head and say “some people….”. Unfortunately these experiences don’t encourage future kindnesses which is a real shame. Most people would be grateful and be giving you some flowers, card of thanks etc.

SuperSange · 27/07/2021 09:56

Christ, you need to set some boundaries and fast.

SpindleWhorl · 27/07/2021 09:56

Her mother sounds like the absolute Motherlode of Entitlement. The daughter, your colleague, is a true disciple.

Please hold your boundary and tell them you expect a thank you for all you've done.

Have you parted with the £50 yet? (Sorry if I missed that.)

toocold54 · 27/07/2021 09:58

I always try and see the other side but I can’t see that you’ve done anything wrong and I’d be telling the mum to go and pick her up herself if she’s so concerned about her.

Maggiesfarm · 27/07/2021 09:58

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon

Nah, not her boss. Not a work injury

I was just trying to be helpful.

No good deed goes unpunished.

I never quite believed that saying. Now I can see the truth of it.

What kind of people are this colleague and her mother, to send you confrontational posts?

I've not been in your colleague's position but you spent eight hours in A&E with her and offered to pay for taxis. Even if I, or my mother (perish the thought), had felt you could do more (which I don't think we would), I wouldn't say or do anything about it because I'd know you did quite a lot. Plenty wouldn't have even done that!

You don't go around bad-mouthing people over small things for goodness sakes - in this case, in my opinion, 'no' thing - if we did, life would be an endless war.

Original poster
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 27/07/2021 09:58

I offered to pay for the taxi because I knew she was skint and I felt guilty because DP couldn’t pick her up.

Yeah... I know.

The injury was an infection that got incredibly nasty and GPS round here were being massively unhelpful.

She was messaging me about it and I said it needed looking at.

She asked if DP would drive her as she doesn’t really have anyone else who drives.

Now I feel used and silly and am having a very unproductive day.

And yes, my boundaries. They deserve a thread of their own. They suck.

OP posts:
toocold54 · 27/07/2021 09:58

Please hold your boundary and tell them you expect a thank you for all you've done.

I agree!

toocold54 · 27/07/2021 09:59

Now I feel used and silly and am having a very unproductive day.

No don’t feel silly. You were being lovely and

toocold54 · 27/07/2021 10:00

When I couldn’t drive I would have appreciated someone like you so much. We need more people like you in the world!

You’ve done nothing wrong and just remember that you are a better person than these idiots.

Original poster
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 27/07/2021 10:01

No, they’re kind of pretending that the taxi offer never happened. Although, I do have a screen shot.

Was in the same sentence as the loft bit so I genuinely can’t see how it was missed.

They’re sorting themselves out now.

I’m eating pasta in my pyjamas like the unproductive slob I am.

OP posts:
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