How’s this for entitled..?

[TheLightSideOfTheMoon]

22 year old colleague/friend, injury, I won’t go into it.

No one to drive her to A&E. My DP drives her there (with me). I sit with her for almost 8 hours waiting to be seen.

Eventually I tell her that I need to go home (I needed medication I’d left behind), I’ll sort out a lift for her in the morning (A&E about 15 miles away), but pretty sure she’ll be admitted.

Roll on early this morning. She’s been discharged.

My DP can’t pick her up so I tell her I will pay for a taxi (probably about £50).

Her mother then contacts me. Absolutely fuming that her daughter is ‘stranded’. I point out that I offered to pay for a taxi but for some reason that doesn’t count.

I tell her to jog on.

Another load of shitty messages from the colleague for telling said mother to jog on.

Seriously?

I spend most of the night in A&E with someone looking after them and there’s no thanks, just a barrage of abuse from their mother.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Is it me? Seriously. Am I in the wrong?

Or are people just like this now?

Well done original poster - you deserve a medal and your college and mother I rather not say as I would be disgusted. If the roles were reversed I would be perpetually grateful for the assistance in this situation. You are not responsible for another adult as this was an emergency good will gesture with as much inconvenience to yourself to help. You did not even need to offer the logistical assistance in the first place but did so because of your concern and kindhearted nature. Forget the mother and in time you need real friends and colleagues with more sense and appreciation. I would dismiss this as a learning experience and not put myself in this helpful position only to be treated badly let alone receive any gratitude or appreciation.

Where were her family when she had to go to hospital? You kindly took on that responsibility and stayed with her much longer than many people would. Surely a close friend or someone in the family could have sorted out her transport on discharge? It really was not your responsibility to either transport her yourself or arrange for transport.

They sound thoroughly rude, ungrateful and horrible people.

As you said, no good deed goes unpunished.

I’ve realised that sometimes we can be too helpful and people will eventually take the *iss. This has happened here. Ignore them.

Yes, I'm like this, or was. And for some reason people (family) dont realise they're treating me differently.
Im not as bad as i used to be though.

@munchkinman

No you are in the right. Sounds like the time my friend’s mother phoned me to say I was selfish for buying a 5 seater car for 3 of us her point bring I could not drive her daughter and 2 kids everywhere any longer 🙄

What?!!

I've been in a and e twice these past 2 weeks. I was admitted to stop in them once discharged I had to go back. I'm autistic. Sat 7 and 8 hours they wouldn't allow anyone with me. Strange how the hospitals have different rules.

Not troll hunting I believe you just don't get how the rules change he depending where you live.

Can I just jump in and second this recommendation? That book changed my life.

YANBU by the way, she sounds ridiculous.

Urgh quote fail. The Cloud and Townsend book is indeed brilliant.

You did above and beyond they are to be avoided lol

@RevolvingPivot

I've been in a and e twice these past 2 weeks. I was admitted to stop in them once discharged I had to go back. I'm autistic. Sat 7 and 8 hours they wouldn't allow anyone with me. Strange how the hospitals have different rules.

That's the wonder of "freedom day" I guess.

@MyOtherProfile ahh yes makes sense

You’ve been incredibly kind and they have a flaming cheek !

This has happened to me often in the past. Sad to say some people never change,That's why they're in my past. yanbu! It's hard setting boundaries if you're empathic, but please do try you need to find balance.

Omg so many questions.
Does this girl work for you ?
And did you cause her injury in some way? Did you run over her foot with your car or something?
If not then why is the girl and her mother of the bizarre opinion that you are responsible for her?
If not why did you feel you needed to take charge of this and even offer to pay for her taxi?? Where was the mother while all this was taking place!?

Why couldn't she get a bus home or a taxi and pay herself? 22 and not able to sort it out? Good grief! There are a lot of women on here who allow themselves to be used.

I thought no one is allowed even in A&e only patient

@NowWhatUsernameShallIHave

I thought no one is allowed even in A&e only patient

Freedom day, innit?

@Insanelysilver

Omg so many questions. Does this girl work for you ? And did you cause her injury in some way? Did you run over her foot with your car or something? If not then why is the girl and her mother of the bizarre opinion that you are responsible for her? If not why did you feel you needed to take charge of this and even offer to pay for her taxi?? Where was the mother while all this was taking place!?

All these questions were answered some time ago. There's a way on MN you can highlight the OPs posts in a thread and read just those so you don't need to ask questions already answered.

Any news OP?
--Sits waiting to hear that CFs realised the error of their ways--

I was in radiography yesterday and everyone was allowed someone with them, as long as they were following the rules.

No news.

I’ve not actually been at work since Thursday morning and blocked them on SM/my phone so wasn’t expecting any contact.

A few vague FB posts about how people you thought were friends let you down, but nothing else.

Back at work tomorrow. Genuinely have no idea if she’s be there as our rota is a bit chaotic atm.

I’ve had a good weekend. I had no idea how much the “I’m so sad.” texts were getting to me until they stopped. I’ve had a lovely time without those.

Still a bit pissed off and upset by the whole thing. Dreading what she’s been telling other people. However, I spoke to a couple of colleagues in confidence (not bitching, was stressed, had to chat to someone) who said it had been obvious the situation with this girl (the clingyness and neediness) was affecting me.

It had also been noticed that she speaks to me like dirt while we’re at work. I thought that was in my head.

I’ve had time to -obsess- think about it. Basically she’d gotten too big for her boots in regards to my life and feels entitled to anything I have.

I’ve done a lot of reading on toxic people over the last few days.

So, I’m dreading work but won’t be showing it... I’ll act all carefree and happy.

Fake it until you make it, right?

Should also say that I negotiated this weekend off BEFORE the A&E drama because it was with her and I was exhausted by the way she treated me.

Again, this was before the lift entitlement.

Well done OP!

It's interesting to read what your colleagues think and what they had noticed.

Good luck for tomorrow