The comments posts like this get are just unbelievable sometimes.
You get posts all the time like "My DC doesnt want to go to their dads anymore and wants to live with me full time." and the comments are mostly -
"Listen to your DC. They're old enough to know."
"Why dont they want to go? I'd be thinking abuse so would stop contact."
"Dont send them. He can't make them see him."
"What has he done to make her not want to go? It's a red flag that they've been going and now don't want to."
But then a post like this comes along where the sex of the parents are reversed and it's -
"Your DC isnt old enough to make this choice. Tell her she cant."
"Has he made her say this? It might be abuse." (Because obviously on Mumsnet if a child doesnt want to see their dad he is obviously guilty of abuse, if they do want to see their dad more then he has obviously made them say it and is guilty of abuse, but the mum isn't ever thought to have made the child not want to see their dad or to have done something at home that's made them want to see him more.)
"Dont let her. Make her stay with you."
"What has happened at his house that's made her say this? It's a red flag if she now wants to live with him so I'd be thinking hes giving her material things and she wants to live thre for that. ." (Because obviously a child would only like their father more than their mother if he is buying that love! On Mumsnet anyway....).
It is just totally unfair, this idea that children should be with their mums more than their dad, and that any less than 50 50 (and even that isnt usually what people think should happen here, its usually EOW and 50% of holidays) is just unthinkable.
People forget that with all the bad threads about bad husbands and fathers on here that most of those are because people come on when they have a problem and not when things are good. So people forget that most fathers love their kids just like the mother does, that children are equally theirs, and that they aren't second class parents. Not all children love their mum more, and even ones who do it isn't just because their dad is a bad father, people just like one parent more than another. Most people on here wouldnt like it either if they were told they had to live 50 50 between two houses when one house had someone one they liked a bit more in and they liked that home more.
On here when parents aren't together if it's a baby? "A baby should be with its mum because of the bond and breastfeeding and having a familiar home." A toddler? "Too young to be between homes they need their primary caregiver they've been with from being a baby." A primary aged child? "Not old enough to say so either 50 50 or with mum and at dads EOW and 50% of holidays." A teenager? "Well at that age they're too old for 50 50 they'll want a full time home so they should just see their dad when they want but live at mums.".
Surprise, people think mum is parent one and dad is parent two and whatever age the child most people on here (so obviously mostly women and mothers....) think the kids should be with mum unless there's something so badly wrong with her even they can't say it's a good idea. They will fit what they think to whatever they need to to make it so mum should be the primary carer.
You can't use "mother knows best" anymore, its 2021, and most fathers aren't absent cold feeling people who don't want to do the day to day child rearing. Giving birth to the child doesn't give you lifetime rights to come before the father.
As females their are things every day that are sexist against females and rightly people have something to say about that, just look at the feminist section, people know it isn't right. But then move over to another section and most people don't care one bit about treating fathers badly.
This just isn't fair on children. You should put your childs safety first but after that they should be in whatever custody agreement makes them feel most comfortable.