DP in hospital. Reassure me he’ll be ok.

[icecreamgirl94]

DP had his appendix out on Sunday, home Monday and recovering well, posted a thread at the time which some people might have seen. This morning he woke me at 6 saying he didn’t feel good but he couldn’t explain how exactly. I thought he was just half asleep and painkillers were wearing off so I just cuddled him till he went back to sleep. Reading that back I’m aware of how stupid it sounds. When I woke up properly a bit later though he was sweaty and breathing funny. Now he’s in hospital and they’re saying it’s sepsis. I don’t understand how this has happened when he was recovering so well. He even went out and saw a mate yesterday. I’ve just been sat at home all day not knowing what to do with myself and waiting for news which hasn’t come. I don’t want to go to bed because he’s not there. Not sure I’ve even posted this in the right place I just wanted a bit of reassurance.

Just seen this thread now OP.

Ex nurse here. Sepsis is the most horrible fucking thing because symptoms don't seem too severe and it can escalate quickly if not treated - but big well done on doing something about it quickly. He sounds like he's in really good hands.

Hope you're managing to get some sleep and that there's some good news tomorrow!

I read your other thread (after he'd been to hospital) and thought it sounded like appendicitis but only because I've had it.

I was around 10 and remember describing it as a stitch that wouldn't go away to my teachers and my childminder, then I started being sick and everyone thought it was a stomach bug.

It was only until about 3 in the morning when I woke my mum up saying I couldn't sleep because the pain was so bad and she said I was literally as white as a sheet that an ambulance was called.

It's a really hard thing to spot and you never know, maybe because of your threads someone will be able to spot appendicitus in one of their loved ones :)

You did notice the signs though OP.... you said in your first post that you just cuddled him and that was "silly".... well it wasn't because doing that alerted you to his change in breathing. You did notice, in an intuitive way, and got him the help he needed in good time x

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

Just seen this thread now OP.

Ex nurse here. Sepsis is the most horrible fucking thing because symptoms don't seem too severe and it can escalate quickly if not treated - but big well done on doing something about it quickly. He sounds like he's in really good hands.

This poster is absolutely right. You did exactly the right thing and very well might have saved his life. Well done for being so decisive.

Thank you so much everyone, your posts are making me cry. In a good way.
@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop thank you, hearing that from a nurse makes me feel a bit less guilty. I still feel like I should have done more but thank you so much for your message.
@redtshirt50 oh my god thank you so much for saying that. I hadn’t even thought about it like that when the thread ended. I’m so sorry you went through that, based on DP’s experience it’s fucking horrible and I feel terrible for leaving him in that much pain for as long as I did. Thank you for what you said about the thread though, you’re so so kind.
@JovialNickname thank you so much, that’s such a lovely thing to say. I feel awful because he told me he didn’t feel well and I just cuddled him and told him to go back to sleep which makes me feel rubbish but the way you’re looking at it does make sense. I don’t think we’d been back to sleep long when his breathing woke me up so maybe I did act quicker than I realised.
@Aquamarine1029 thank you that really means the world.
Being awake in the middle of the night like this when I shouldn’t be just makes me more aware that something’s really wrong. I’m scared the phone will ring to tell me he’s gone which I know is me thinking the absolute worst and a really stupid thing to do but I can’t help doing it. I’m so frustrated with myself!
Thank you so so much for the messages I can’t believe how kind you’re all being.

Thinking of you, icecreamgirl94.

Don’t blame yourself. So many doctors miss the first signs of sepsis and you did the right thing a few hours later. He is in good hands and you are going to see him tomorrow. Try to get some sleep.
I am in Australia so happy to keep you company

You poor thing . It must be so frightening to be at home alone while he is there. Do ring if you need to , the nurses will understand.

Hopefully , his age and fitness will see him through and he will be home soon . Look after yourself as best you can .

Thank you everyone for being so kind. Really am trying to sleep but keeping checking my phone every few minutes even though I’d hear if I got a call or message. Just can’t wait for it to be morning.

@icecreamgirl94 I just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you and your DP. I hope you manage to sleep soon.

Hi icecreamgirl, I'm here.

Just wanted to say in 2013 my husband was in ICU abroad with sepsis. It was touch and go for a while, but he recovered fully and is upstairs now in the land of nod.

I remember getting through the worst night just tucked up on the sofa with a Pride & Prejudice box set and just dozing when I could. Be kind to yourself. 💐.

Sending a gentle hug and a handhold.

@icecreamgirl94

Thank you everyone for being so kind. Really am trying to sleep but keeping checking my phone every few minutes even though I’d hear if I got a call or message. Just can’t wait for it to be morning.

I was the same recently when my mum was in hospital. Especially when she caught Covid while there. A lovely nurse told me if I woke worried during the night to call anytime - she said they are a 24 hour service and to not worry about calling overnight. So I did a couple of times.

Not sure what other nurses views of this would be but when I called I just explained I was up worried and asked for an update and they were happy to give me that. Depending on the ward, nightshirt might not be quite as hectic if patients are managing to sleep. (Obviously in ICU / ED this will be different)

Oh I remember your 1st thread. Wishing him and you all the best. Speedy recovery too.

Sending you much love. My dh had sepsis in February. He was in hospital for 12 days and took a long time to return to some sort of normality. He's so much better now but it really knocked him for six.

Remember to take care of yourself too. It was a scary time for us as a family especially with Covid and no visiting.

Am awake and couldn’t read without checking in and sending you some support as well OP. Look after yourself as well - hope you’re dozing now - make sure you drink water/fluids and try and eat a little bit as well even if only snacks or comfort food if that’s what works for you. Don’t feel like you have to pretend everything is fine, take up the offer of family coming over if you like, it’s ok to have people help you when things like this happen, it doesn’t mean that things won’t turn out ok.

Oh @icecreamgirl94 I couldn't read and run. Bit of hope for you-both my children had sepsis. My oldest was born septic thanks to (they think) undiagnosed group b strep and a horrendous birth where he got stuck for a long time. I didn't actually see him when they eventually got him out, he was whizzed straight to NICU and I caught a glimpse of his little nose as he went past! 24 hours later I got to visit him and it was at that point we were taken to 'the room' that NICU parents dread and gently informed that he might not make it through the night. He's now seven, healthy as a horse and has had no ill effects after making a turn around a couple of days after that horrendous conversation. It took the right antibiotics, amazing care from the nurses and doctors and, I like to think, his own incredibly stubborn nature 😉

Second son got sepsis when he was 2 months old-undiagnosed uti of all things. Again very dramatic but when I called 111 and explained his symptoms (high temperature, just not quite right) they told me they were really short on ambulances and could take him to hospital 'if I thought it was necessary'. Thank goodness he was my second and my instincts were saying he needed to be checked because I think if I'd been told that as a first time mum I'd have been worried about making a fuss (just like your instincts absolutely kicked un for your DP, please don't keep beating yourself up that they didn't because it's very clear they did!) Got him to hospital in 20 minutes and in that time his limbs had started to turn a dark colour from the sepsis. Dr took one look at him when I was with the nurse in triage and picked him up and ran down the corridor for treatment-clearly my babies don't do things by halves! Again, got the antibiotics into him and he was a different child a few days later. He also is now in rude health, does have one rubbish kidney but that's also down to an underlying condition as well as the sepsis and doesn't affect him day to day at all.

The point of those two long winded stories is that my teeny babies were both excellently treated in the right place and antibiotics are amazing and your DP is in the same position. My ex husband had a lot of hospital admittances when we were at uni together for mystery conditions and they were all quite serious. I can well remember the absolute fear and long nights back in my bedroom, not wanting to over burden the ward with calls but also feeling totally useless and also a bit scared of going to sleep just in case.....
None of what you're doing is pathetic or dramatic or anything else you've said. He's your partner, he's ill enough to be in hospital, it's a shock and you're scared. I've been there many times and completely relate. Be kind to yourself, take all the real life help you can, we're here for you on here if you need it. If you feel too anxious to eat then try and drink smoothies or have soup or something to keep your energy up. If you can't sleep then get comfy on the sofa and put something mindless on the tv just to have background noise, you never know you might doze off.
I'm so glad you're going to be able to see him later, perhaps make a list of questions you want to ask the staff in case you feel overwhelmed when you get there? And please do feel free to message me if you want to.
Best of luck, I hope he turns a corner very soon

Hope you've managed to sleep, at least a little, and that today is a turning point towards a full recovery for your DP.
Positive vibes coming your way.
Take care of yourself.

💐

My husband was in for 12 days, they called it a gangrenous perforated appendix and it basically was infected and filled him with infection until he was in so much pain I called 111 and he ended up in an ambulance.
Was really scary, he had a collapsed lung during the surgery (and they didn't realise extent of infection until were operating), he had 2 days in intensive care and the chief surgeon (who'd ended up being called in to his op) referred to it as 'got rather bad in there'
With covid it's so hard, I was incredibly lucky to be able to visit, very restricted but I was still glad for that ❤️

Practicals 😊

• he will be very out of it and woozy with antibiotics so don't expect him to be with it or even awake
• he'll likely have multiple drips going and catheter - fluids, paracetamol, one of combo of antibiotics
• take any essentials for when he's doing a bit better - phone charger, magazine/book (and can bring any dirty clothes back)
• entrance to wards at our hospital was buzzer entry and it takes ages to get in as staff are obv busy, so be ready to wait
• they'll have posters up on process, for us it was - must wear mask, wash hands before entry to ward, we had to wear a plastic apron and gloves
• I visited him on 3 wards during stay, they each had different time restrictions on visitors stay and they were (rightly) strict on them

Just read your first thread about this, poor you, you've been through a lot! (And DH of course). Are you going to ring for an update today?

Sorry one or combo of antibiotics, it's a trial to get the right one which shows responding

Sepsis is one of those things that comes on quite quickly, even on wards it can be tricky to spot at just the right moment , so the fact you recognised there was something wrong and got him to hospital is brilliant.
Things to take in that might make his stay a bit more bearable, shorts or lightweight bottoms, a nice clean t-shirt to get changed into, deoderant, toothpaste and toothbrush, mints or nice sweets to suck, nice cordial as hospital water tastes awful, a newspaper or magazine, does he have a tablet ? so he can watch stuff ? or can he do it on his phone ? Earplugs or headphones.
Once he is past the intial feeling crap stage, being in hospital is just very noisy and very boring !

Yes @frumpety I forgot the delight my husband had of brushing his teeth after a couple days not being well enough or able to do them!

Wow I really wasn’t expecting so many lovely messages through the night, thank you all so so much. I managed to doze for about an hour then I’ve just been sat here reading all the messages 😭
@Hopeisnotastrategy thank you so much and thank you for sharing another positive experience.
@harverina thank you I’ve debated calling them a couple of times the last few hours but I’m telling myself they’ll call if anything changes.
@Groovee thank you so much for sharing another positive story. This is much more common than I realised.
@LemonViolet thank you for such a lovely message.
@MollyBloomYes thank you so so much for sharing your experiences. Hearing that such tiny babies can fight this really does give me hope.
@Suzysuz thank you for the information.
@frumpety thank you for the suggestions.
Thank you so much everyone. I’m so relieved it’s sort of morning. Been sat here crying through your messages for the last couple hours. Really you’re stopping me having a full on meltdown.

I’m going to go and pack all the things that have been suggested on here for him. His stuff is all over the house I don’t think I realised till now how untidy he is 😭 This time last week I’d been woken up through the night by him throwing up and I didn’t go and look after him because I thought it was a bug. Bloody wish it had been a bug!