DP in hospital. Reassure me he’ll be ok.

[icecreamgirl94]

DP had his appendix out on Sunday, home Monday and recovering well, posted a thread at the time which some people might have seen. This morning he woke me at 6 saying he didn’t feel good but he couldn’t explain how exactly. I thought he was just half asleep and painkillers were wearing off so I just cuddled him till he went back to sleep. Reading that back I’m aware of how stupid it sounds. When I woke up properly a bit later though he was sweaty and breathing funny. Now he’s in hospital and they’re saying it’s sepsis. I don’t understand how this has happened when he was recovering so well. He even went out and saw a mate yesterday. I’ve just been sat at home all day not knowing what to do with myself and waiting for news which hasn’t come. I don’t want to go to bed because he’s not there. Not sure I’ve even posted this in the right place I just wanted a bit of reassurance.

@Hen2018 that must have been terrifying for you! Thank you so much for sharing, I’m glad your son is ok now.
@Airplanes that made me smile so thank you so much for sharing! I feel like the most terrible girlfriend in the world at the moment so it’s comforting to know you’ve been in a similar position. He was just so vague, he said it really hurt and was the worst pain ever but he didn’t want me to actually do anything. Even when he wouldn’t let me touch his stomach I still just left him to it because he wasn’t asking for help at that point. Thank you so much for replying to me, it really does help. I’m tidying the loft to try and keep myself busy, no idea why! I’m just praying he isn’t scared on his own or in loads of pain. Thank you again, really really appreciate it.

@icecreamgirl94

I'm another sepsis survivor. I was also 27 when it happened (postpartum). ICU staff are marvellous at dealing with this sort of thing.

Your boyfriend is young and fit and in the right place getting the right treatment.

But you did notice the signs, OP. You noticed he was "sweaty and breathing funny". Your instincts kicked in and you got him help. Even when other evidence - the fact that he was recovering well and went out the day before - suggested there probably wasn't much wrong.

And as everyone has said, he's in the right place now. Be kind to yourself, it's horrible being the one waiting.

@Sapphire387 thank you, honestly you have no idea how much it means to hear positive stories.
@cantitbesimpler thank you so much for saying that, it’s really kind. You’re right waiting is absolutely horrible.
DS is back with me now so trying to focus on him. I’ve been texting DP even though I’m not expecting a reply yet, just don’t want him to think he’s been forgotten. No real change, still on oxygen and has a bit of a rash which I didn’t notice yesterday but maybe it was there and I missed it. Not sure at what point I should worry that there’s still no change.

When I was 9 I had 'yet another tummy bug which my mum ignored for 5 days because I was always getting them. On day 6 she realised something was amiss ( I had stopped peeing).GP visited and diagnosed Appendicitis. Admitted to hospital where a junior doc disagreed with GP and refused to arrange a theatre slot.Over the next few hours I was given ice-cube bed baths to bring my temp down. Eventually at 9pm a very high-ranking nursing officer came to the ward and ripped him a new one. In 6 hours I had lost 7lbs in weight. Off I went to theatre where the surgeon was horrified to see that I had a six-pack abdomen from all the gymnastics I did. It made getting to the appendix really difficult and the delay meant the appendix perforated and caused peritonitis and a cardiac arrest. My parents were told to prepare for the worst. But I survived to tell the tale with a pretty awesome scar!!! I am 52 years old now and this was in 1978!!
You did well to spot that something was wrong and get him the help he needed!! Hopefully within a couple of days he will be a bit brighter!

@Whenigrowupiwanttobea oh thank you so much for sharing your story, that sounds absolutely horrific! I’m so glad you made a full recovery. I think I’m just coming across as desperate and needy on here but reassurance and positive stories are keeping me sane at the moment, it’s not the same coming from friends and family because I feel like they think they’ve just got to say the right thing. Thank you again.

You don't sound desperate and needy. In normal times you'd be able to see him and speak face to face with the health care staff, I imagine it's must worse not being able to see him. I know I'd catastrophise in your situation.
Antibiotics always take a while to kick in. I think you're best to keep busy with your son and take care of yourself because it won't do anyone any good if you're exhausted

That's terrible that he's been so ill twice. You must be beside yourself. I hope he makes a really quick recovery.

@Airplanes thank you for being so kind 😭 Sorry I just keep saying thank you and apologising! It’s so horrible not being able to be with him, I can’t bear thinking of him all on his own. It was bad enough last week but at least he was able to text me fairly soon after the op so I knew he was ok. Fuck covid! I’ve tidied my whole loft today but not touched the rest of the house as his things are everywhere and tidying them makes me feel weird like I’m tempting fate or something. How ridiculous! Family have offered to come over but that’ll make me feel like there’s no escaping that something’s wrong. Just trying to play with DS in the garden and enjoy the lovely weather, anything to feel normal really! Thank you again.
@HollowTalk thank you so much. He’s never ill so this just doesn’t feel real.

Poor you x I remember your first thread! What an awful time he is having. Fingers crossed he starts to feel better soon. Must be very scary not being able to speak to him.

Hope he recovers real soon xxx

He's in the right place. This happens. My dad had septicaemia following appendicectomy and so did my neighbour. They were treated and were fine.

What is good is that you and husband didn't delay getting him back to hospital.

There is never a 100% guarantee but the odds are favourable that your husband will recover completely and be back to normal in a short while.

I bet you anything when you see him tomorrow, he will already be feeling a lot better.

Spoken to the hospital again, they’ve now said they’re “keeping an eye on his kidney function”. I’m allowed to go in and see him tomorrow from a distance. I was too scared to ask why they’re letting me. Is that a good sign or a bad sign? I can’t believe it’s only been 2 days it feels like years. I’ve spent this whole evening watching Disney films for escapism. If I wasn’t so scared I’d be finding myself hilarious and ridiculous!
@StrongArm thank you, it’s been the worst week of our lives. No contact with him for 2 days is honestly the worst feeling.
@frustratedwiththepandemic thank you so much.
@Maggiesfarm thank you so much for sharing your experiences.
I keep saying it but thank you for the messages, they’ve all been so so kind and thoughtful. Can’t imagine I’m going to sleep much tonight, if anyone has anything cheerful to talk about then please feel free to PM me. Sorry that sounds super beggy!
Thank you for the messages.

It sounds as though your husband is being very well looked after and scrupulously monitored.

I hope he will soon be home, icecreamgirl, and sending up a silent prayer that you (and he) get a good night's sleep.

Oh you poor thing you must be exhausted.
He’s absolutely in the right place and it sounds like they’re really keeping a close eye, which is good.

Got any boxsets to catch up on?

He’s in the best place OP. Sepsis is way more common that you think- I’ve had it and it freaked me the fuck out when they said the words, but it happens a lot.

It happened to my husband a couple of years ago. He went in for a planned bowel op but it ruptured and he had to have another emergency op and had sepsis. He even ended up in intensive care for 10 days. Don’t worry if it takes a few days until they find the right antibiotics for him. He may well be woozy. My husband can’t remember a thing about his time in intensive care, even though he was conscious for most of it.

Look after yourself too - particularly while he’s being cared for there. He’ll need your help when he comes home and has to build up.

Oh thank you all so much, truly your messages are keeping me sane! 😭 I definitely thought I’d be better at dealing with something like this 😭
@Maggiesfarm thank you so so much.
@Alternista thank you, I know you’re right, I wish I could calm myself down! I have loads of box sets to catch up on but everything seems to have someone who reminds me of DP in them. I’ve just started midsomer Murders mainly because there’s loads of episodes to see me through the night.
@BillyShears thank you, I really had no idea it was so common, like you I heard it and just thought fuck! Mentioning his kidneys and saying I can visit tomorrow had just made me think the worst.
@Honeyroar thank you so much for sharing your experience. I know I need to keep I. Mind that it might take a bit of time to get the right antibiotics for him. I checked that he has his phone with him but he’s not really conscious so obviously hasn’t seen my messages. Hopefully he won’t remember much about this either!
Thank you everyone.

Thinking of you OP, so scary that you aren't allowed to visit like normal.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It must be hard trying to keep things normal for your DS, but also a blessing at the same time.

I just wanted to add that my DD had sepsis when she was in NICU (born very premature). She was 2lb 5oz when she got sepsis and she was very unwell but she's now an incredibly healthy and active (and determined) 7 year old.

Thinking of you and wishing you a peaceful night.

@grealush thank you so much, that’s definitely the hardest part. I think I could deal with it a bit better if I was allowed to be with him and hold his hand so he wasn’t all on his own. I don’t think I’ll be allowed to touch him tomorrow but at least I’ll get to see him.
@allthesharks thank you so much for sharing your experience, that’s so reassuring that such a tiny baby was able to pull through! Your DD sounds amazing and I’m so glad she’s thriving now. DS is only 5 months old so at least he’s far too young to understand what’s going on. We just need his daddy back home where he belongs now.

Hi Icecream girl, sending you positive thoughts and good wishes.x

@TheDuchessofDukeStreet thank you, you guys have no idea how much this thread is getting me through tonight ❤️

Sending positive thoughts OP

I am sending you and your partner all my positive thoughts. This is just so scary and so stressful - I can't even imagine.