Is this normal ? Friend told me something and I’m wondering how common this is ?

[namechangedForthus]

Was chatting to a friend today and she mentioned something about it being ‘one of those days’ when I said I was just going to get a few bits from the shop.
After chatting a bit more it turns out that ‘one of those days’ is what she has 3-4 days each WEEK where they have ZERO in their account ?

She shrugged this off as ‘normal’ and ‘real life’ but I was quite shocked.
What if an emergency arises or an unexpected bill? She said they have no savings but that the rent and bills are paid and she always has food staples in and a freezer full so it’s just how it is. She laughed that I was shocked! I said I was more than happy to pick up any bits she needed

Is this really reality for people I would be so worried each week if it was me because of unexpected costs but she seemed resigned to this being how it will always be

Very common and if youve never experienced this consider yourself lucky x

Yes we were like that for a while, various reasons. But the bills were paid, food in the house. Kids were clean and well clothed. I'd say this lasted around a year for us. But we got out of that hole and now better off. Some people don't even have the food in the house.

I can’t imagine the stress on a weekly basis of just having all your money gone on bills and then nothing left for over half the week.
It’s really made me think

It is the norm yes.
There will be posters along to confirm the hardship of this.
Your friend sounds resigned to the situation, people dont have any choice many times.

I'm surprised that you were surprised - it's really normal.

Of course it's normal.

@Gufo

I'm surprised that you were surprised - it's really normal.

I had no idea I mean to not just not have savings but to not even have £1 in the bank. It’s just really shocked me.

Yeah this is very common. Like a pp says, you are very lucky if you have never had to experience this.

Respectfully, you sound lovely but a bit ignorant. This is probably common for the majority of the population.

I knew this as a child in the late 80s early 90s for a few days at the end of the month. To be like it half of every week surprises me (perhaps I'd better check my privilege) - half your life spent with nothing at all in your pocket.

She’s got a roof over the family’s heads, clothes on their backs and food in their stomachs. Hopefully they are a family full
of love, laughter and happiness. All we need really. Anything else is truly a bonus.
A lot of people strive just to achieve the first sentence.

I have been in that position and I don't think it's uncommon. I would mention, though - it is really, really embarrassing to have your friend ask you if you want them to pick anything up from you.

It's really normal to be in overdraft too.

You're lucky you've never had zero pounds in your account and needed vouchers for the food bank.

You're extremely lucky to have never experienced this. We used to live like this all the time. Literally down to the last tenner before payday. I am glad I aren't there anymore but it doesn't take much to get back there.

I'm self-employed and have phases like this when work is sluggish. It's uncomfortable but I am in an incredibly fortunate position that I can ask family to lend me money short-term if an unexpected expense crops up (but I hate having to do this!).

Only on Mumsnet...I have no savings. I have an overdraft and a credit card. Last month I had many things hit on one go (lots of renewals etc) that came to over £1K so I went a few hundred into my overdraft.

Then I got paid but obviously was a few hundred short from the previous month. So now am going to living in overdraft again until payday. I'm trying to reduce my spending to help me recover, and also taking extra jobs.

This is also the case with a few of my friends, they end up overdrawn/using credit cards to see them though.

None of us live a lavish lifestyle. It's just life for many, it's a privilege to live the way that you do.

@shedofdread

I have been in that position and I don't think it's uncommon. I would mention, though - it is really, really embarrassing to have your friend ask you if you want them to pick anything up from you.

Well I hope I didn’t offend her 😞 I just felt so bad for her she’s lovely. Her husband works really hard. She’s lovely the kids are lovely and I was just taken aback

She’s lovely the kids are lovely and I was just taken aback

So you think that this is only a reality for unlovely people?

You've had a sheltered life @namechangedForthus. We spent the first 3/4 years of our marriage permanently in the overdraft. It doesn't last for every - we owned our home, have climbed the ladder and have decent savings now.

Yep really common. And often for us no food in either, we used to eat a lot of plain pasta with a bit of grated cheese. It’s horrible, if anything goes wrong with anything you’re just fucked.

@MolyHolyGuacamole

She’s lovely the kids are lovely and I was just taken aback

So you think that this is only a reality for unlovely people?

No I meant I hope I didn’t offend her because she is lovely I don’t think she would have taken it that way ?

Your heart is in the right place but you're incredibly.. Incredibly lucky to not have ever experienced modern day poverty. This time last year when I left my ex and had to start all over again I was not having dinner so my daughter could eat.

You can be lovely and also poor, OP

Haven't you heard of people in poverty, using food banks etc? Why are you so shocked?