Is this normal ? Friend told me something and I’m wondering how common this is ?

[namechangedForthus]

Was chatting to a friend today and she mentioned something about it being ‘one of those days’ when I said I was just going to get a few bits from the shop.
After chatting a bit more it turns out that ‘one of those days’ is what she has 3-4 days each WEEK where they have ZERO in their account ?

She shrugged this off as ‘normal’ and ‘real life’ but I was quite shocked.
What if an emergency arises or an unexpected bill? She said they have no savings but that the rent and bills are paid and she always has food staples in and a freezer full so it’s just how it is. She laughed that I was shocked! I said I was more than happy to pick up any bits she needed

Is this really reality for people I would be so worried each week if it was me because of unexpected costs but she seemed resigned to this being how it will always be

add up the shopping on the way round the supermarket

yep and sitting down before hand knowing I've only got X amount and then trying to budget a full weeks shop into it,( I knew the prices of the cheapest value stuff of by heart) and if I got to the supermarket and something or a couple of things had gone up by 5p well that just really pushed over the edge.

You're just incredibly lucky then.

This is normal for a lot of people.

@Nsky

I always knew some had far less than me, never been in this situation, surprised it’s so common. Make sure I do give by direct debit to food bank every month

Not in a horrible way but how are you surprised it's so common yet give to the food bank each month?

@Sweettea1

Are you In the UK? If so how could you not no this is normal for many off people hence we have so many food banks.

Yes I’m in the U.K. I am aware of food banks but I’ve Never seen one or been to them so I suppose i haven’t thought about it as it’s not like I’m walking past one each day of that makes sense. I know that poverty exists but I think what has taken me by surprise is that it was someone I know very well and then she was saying to me this is how it is for most people and I had never realised that. I’m just trying to ask to find out is it that common and yes it appears it is, I really didn’t realise I thought that most people had savings even a small amount and I really haven’t meant to offend anyone at all

Yes when we were kids, which is why I don’t have kids - can’t guarantee they’d be financially protected.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/whatever.scalzi.com/2005/09/03/being-poor/

Hang on. Not everybody who doesn't have savings or lives in their overdraft is in that position due to poverty or a low income.

Some people choose not to save. Some people choose to spend on whatever they fancy until the money runs out. Some people struggle with budgeting. Some people have a good income but have overstretched themselves. Some people have a good income but transfer it to family members. Some people are clearing debts. And some people are on a low income struggling to get by.

www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/blog/millions-at-risk-with-savings-of-100-or-less

Let's not pretend the whole population is living in poverty just because some posters want an excuse to attack the op.

@namechangedForthus. You haven't been offensive at all. And most people might have experienced this, but most people don't live like this every day.

Yes this is how my bank balance is most of the time, I don't have anything to spend on anything unexpected which is a bit scary if I think about it too much. When I get paid, everything is allocated to various bills. My only disposable income comes from whether or not I've been able to sell anything on eBay.

really didn’t realise I thought that most people had savings even a small amount
It is really hard to save when all your money is taken by bills and food.
I've tried to save up. I saved up £200 and then my cooker broke, and the cheapest one I could find with next day delivery and installation was £400 so I had to borrow £200 off my brother. So instead of saving again to try and build a little emergency fund, I'm having to pay back my brother. It took months to build up just that £200, saving 10 or 20 pounds each month.

Yup, very common. Lots of people all over the world live hand to mouth. No savings at all, they cover all of the necessities with their salary at the start of the month then basically have naff all left for the rest of the month. Normal.

I really don’t understand how people don’t know this is a reality for so many. If there’s an emergency you might use a payday loan company or a loan shark. Or stuff just doesn’t get fixed or replaced. Or your kids don’t go to school because you can’t get them shoes or a coat or sanitary products.

Many years ago I used to write checks at the grocery shop for milk, cereal, etc… praying that money would be in my account by the time it went through (leaving me short for the next week though) - or just cop the charge for a bounce. I was so ashamed I would do my shopping with the lark and then scurry home. I also used to joke about taking my Tupperware into work to gather up leftover company lunches because I ‘hated waste’ - no, it was often our dinner.

I'm not offended by your post OP, I'd rather these things were out in the open and your friend has a good attitude to it imo.

I am aware of food banks but I’ve Never seen one or been to them so I suppose i haven’t thought about it as it’s not like I’m walking past one each day of that makes sense.

I run a food bank. Once a week we operate a kind of supermarket where people on a low income can come along and do a weekly shop for a donation of up to £2 / give their time if they can. Every week we have people, sometimes working people or pensioners, absolutely on the bones of their arses. People generally do try to donate but I've sometimes refused the money when I've seen that it's given to us and then they have an hour+ walk home because that's the last £1 they had so no bus fare with their heavy shopping.

There are some chaotic people/homeless/asylum seekers etc - I guess more of who you'd typically expect to use a food bank. But not exclusively. Lots of ordinary families.

@NewYearNewTwatName

yes its normal.

We lived like that for years, and yes the stress takes it toll.

The constant worry, the were the fuck do I find the money for school friends Birthday present, school trip or pay a £s to school so the DC can wear something red, odd socks, PJs etc....let alone the the unexpected Bills although with that you can normally manage to juggle things or cancel a DD to buy time.

@NewYearNewTwatName Good point about the school trips, I've been there too. What annoyed me was that school would hold non uniform days, when you have worked hard to pay for 3 x uniforms, then have to pay £1 for each child to go into school wearing something decent enough not to be ridiculed by other kids with better off parents, kids can be so cruel, and schools still have non uniform days, often at short notice.

That’s me. Sometimes I have a couple of quid left, it can suck at times, but you get used to it

It's normal for some people. We all live in bubbles where we consider things normal that really are not normal in other bubbles. One of the reasons humans are resilient is because they normalise stuff that is not very pleasant.

Op, I get you. It's one thing being aware of stats in passing and another when you realise what they mean in practice for people you know. I don't think it's a bad thing to acknowledge that on here.

We all have such different backgrounds and experiences and there are threads on private schools, nannies etc I can't begin to identify with, despite knowing I'm privileged enough to be able to buy food and pay bills without being conscious of when pay day falls.

Yes I think that’s it. Till today it was just a social issue I was aware of but hadn’t thought in depth about and yes I’m very aware how lucky I am but now I can see the issue attached to a real person that I know and care about and reading here how other people are affected

Yes, I’d say it’s pretty common / normal. My fridge is 90% empty but I make sure that what is in there is fruit and veg. Cupboards have beans, pasta, eggs, bread and butter.
Like a previous poster mentioned, there’s a houseful of laughter and fun regardless.
I wouldn’t be offended if a friend found out and offered to get things in. I’d decline politely and say we manage, not to worry.

I'd be surprised if it was happening on a weekly basis, but mainly because everyone I know gets paid monthly.
I wouldnt be surprised by people having no money left at the end of the month tho, so I guess it's the same thing, just on a shorter timescale because of different pay cycles.

It's common, I've lived month to month. Luckily since DH got promoted we've managed to get decent savings and shouldn't have to live like that again.

It's hard. It's anxiety inducing, but it's really common.

I probably appear outwardly well off but I live in permanent debt. Yes unexpected bills are a pain and are usually added to a credit card. Which yes just makes the problem worse.

I've got 76p in the bank until I get paid on Thursday. My cupboards are full, as is my freezer. The car has fuel in and my DS1's activities for this week are pre paid. All bills are paid. I consider us very fortunate.

COVID wasn't kind to us at the beginning and we had to use the food bank. So I'm very glad to be back on our feet, even if we don't have any savings at the minute.

Thus is my life. No overdraft, no credit cards. When it’s gone, it’s gone. You get very good at robbing Peter to pay Paul.