Is this normal ? Friend told me something and I’m wondering how common this is ?

[namechangedForthus]

Was chatting to a friend today and she mentioned something about it being ‘one of those days’ when I said I was just going to get a few bits from the shop.
After chatting a bit more it turns out that ‘one of those days’ is what she has 3-4 days each WEEK where they have ZERO in their account ?

She shrugged this off as ‘normal’ and ‘real life’ but I was quite shocked.
What if an emergency arises or an unexpected bill? She said they have no savings but that the rent and bills are paid and she always has food staples in and a freezer full so it’s just how it is. She laughed that I was shocked! I said I was more than happy to pick up any bits she needed

Is this really reality for people I would be so worried each week if it was me because of unexpected costs but she seemed resigned to this being how it will always be

When I was 21 I got a job in a bank so I would see customer accounts every day.

For me this was eye opening as probably 80% or more had a negative balance permanently. I'm talking overdraft, credit cards etc.

There was an incident maybe in 2012 where credits were not entering bank accounts due to a major system outage and it went on for a week. This included benefits, salaries etc. The desperate phone calls, the tears, honestly it really brought home how many people genuinely live hand to mouth.

I was still living at home with parents at the time so it's made me really appreciate what I've got.

I think you have had some unreasonably critical responses here. Yes, it is common but you didn't know and I think it's quite brave to admit that. You could take some time to become a bit more aware of the problems people face, at the minute it doesn't sound like you are very involved in your trade union or a (left) political party. Maybe once you've done a bit more research you may choose to be more more involved with some groups and campaign for improvements. Whether those improvements are better pay for public sector workers, campaigning for utilities to be nationised, more affordable housing, pay for carers... anything you can get involved with, do it. Just maybe don't tell your friend her poverty inspired you

Absolutely normal unfortunately. We’ve had similar situations a few years ago now. Full cupboards, bills paid but nothing in the bank or purse.

I had 10 years post-divorce where I had a huge amount of debt and lived in my overdraft knowing that I was only ever one pay check away from homelessness (private rental). Me and my DS had a roof over our heads, we had clothes on our backs and we always had food. It was a huge struggle and very stressful but not ever did I consider us poor. This is a reality for so many people.

Never been quite there, but there were the times when I'd been made redundant and DGF (now DW) had run off the end of a fixed-term contract when we had almost nothing coming in and were watching the redundancy money disappear month by month to pay the mortgage, council tax and utilities. When we left the bathwater in the bath to go cold because that way the heat stayed in the house rather than go down the drain.

Later there were the times when we'd committed to building extensions that were running way over budget and we had to borrow on credit cards else we'd run over the overdraft limit. There were times when we had two credit cards with different billing dates so that we'd switch between them to get the longest credit we could before the money came out of the bank account.

And in most people's eyes we're loaded . . .

What do you do op? Do you work/ do any activities?
I can't believe that the idea that its very normal to often be skint is such a surprise to you.
Do you live in a very privileged bubble?

We have 2 weeks a month in overdraft. We have credit cards for emergencies and a full freezer. Everything important is paid and bought ASAP after pay day. We both have ‘professional’ or ‘middle class’ jobs, but a huge mortgage as we live in the south east of England. The mortgage and bills are paid and we all have clean and serviceable clothes. We have two cars (both paid for, although 5-10 years old)) and no credit card debt. We have food in our tummies and a garden for fun and food. People think we’re rich - we are, I suppose, we just don’t have much disposable income once all outgoings are paid. Very little savings.
I once heard that most people are 2-3 paydays away from disaster. We are, but we’re not there and if we can hang on long enough, the overdraft will gradually shrink.

I wholeheartedly think op did not mean to offend and genuinely had a curiosity to know. It's OK to not know and educate yourself.. Albeit triggering for someone else, but that's my problem and not yours. I hope you've now realised that this is the norm for most people.

It amazes me that some people don't realize other sometimes live this way
In the past i have had zero money even at Christmas,and my children were given toys by the Lions association, NO Christmas dinner just egg and chips,
No benefits either like now
Better off now, but still as a pensioner,not much in savings, [this was in the 60s, no help from childrens father, [be different now there is a CSA or whatever it's called] din't even come and see them

Is this really abnormal? I know my financial situation is not great as I've made certain choices such as working part time to be around while my children are small but it seems pretty hyperbolic to be so shocked. As others have said all bills are paid, the shopping is done including Hello Fresh ordered until payday, ingredients for baking and am part of a scheme so I get fresh fruit and veg each week prepaid for. So no I have no money in my pocket quite a lot of the time and it can be a bit bland at the end of the month but that's because we are naff with our disposable income, we've had plenty of treats etc.

I'm rambling a bit but I guess what I'm trying to say is it's completely possible to be reasonably comfortable, have disposable income, have all essentials paid for and still have no money in your pocket a lot of the time.
I guess what I am surprised at in your post is your disbelief that people would have no cash floating around, like it sounds like you equate it with being really badly off or in poverty or something. When in reality lots of people who have households to run and get paid monthly may spend plenty of time having no spare cash.

I know people are way worse off than me and still manage to keep a smooth running household, bills paid, good food on the table each night. I don't think it's a sad way to live. Obviously would be better to have a savings pot and all that but not everyone can afford to hold money just for the sake of having spare cash and not everyone wants to either.

OP are you being goady? I refuse to believe that anyone wouldn't realise some people live like this. Don't you watch the news?

I'm a FT carer on benefits and this is a shock even to me. I don't move in particularly wealthy circles but I'm not aware of anyone who has 0p to their name for half of the week every single week.

I lived like this for a years. If anything goes wrong you either have to go deeper into the overdraft or pick up more shifts or not eat for a few days. Not fun.

@Pebbledashery

Respectfully, you sound lovely but a bit ignorant. This is probably common for the majority of the population.

I don’t think that is true. 15% of the uk population has no savings. It’s not the majority, but it is too many.

We lived like this for years. Overdrawn or nothing in the Bank towards the end of the month. I’m surprised you find this so shocking. I never take money for granted now.

I feel very lucky that I-have never been in such a position though I sometimes had a small overdraft at the end of the month after dh1 died. It was never much and, on a teacher’s salary I managed quite well once I got used to the reduced income.

Reminds me of a conversation with colleagues where I reminisced about choosing between heating or eating at college and going to bed fully clothed in lots of layers, tights included because it was so cold and we couldn't afford to heat the house.

They looked at me like I was speaking alien.

I was shocked they had never experienced this even as students.

I think the op is getting a bit of a hard time, I think a certain amount of the lack of awareness could be due to her ASD.
My husband lost his job when I was pregnant with my third child, there was no help for the mortgage on benefits and we really struggled I often had £15 a week to feed 4 of us plus healthy start vouchers, we ate a lot of beans on toast, I remember the shame of having to hunt for coppers to buy some bread and milk and being so thankful I could pay at the self checkouts so I didn't have to pay a real life person with a hand ful of change.
We are lucky that we are in a better position but I'm very aware things can go wrong so quickly.

@Bluntness100

Some of these responses are rude and wrong. Statistically only 15 percent of the population have no savings at all. The majority of the population don’t live like this. This doesn’t mean it’s uncommon, but it is not the majority of the population.

Yes, I bet half the PPs sanctimoniously lecturing the OP on her privilege are comfortably off.

And, remember, OP that your friend might be cash-poor but debt-free. If she is making ends meet, and doesn't have any debts (apart from a mortgage, if she owns her home), she's actually a lot better off than many people who might have some savings but also loads of credit card debt.

'i think you have had some unreasonably critical responses here. Yes, it is common but you didn't know and I think it's quite brave to admit that.'

Totally agree. It's shocking to think that so many people have no safety net, no cushion, having to constantly scrape by, often working bloody hard but still unable to afford to live comfortably. I understand that it's a very familiar situation for many but it shouldn't be accepted as 'normal' for so many people to struggle like this

'OP are you being goady?'

No, she's not.

I think people are being a bit unfair to the OP.

I grew up like this, my parents lived hand to mouth and were often in debt. They didn't exactly hide it from me and I spent a lot of my childhood worried about whether they'd be able to pay the rent or buy enough food. My friends' parents all seemed much better off, with nice cars, regular holidays, etc, though I suppose you never know what's happening behind the scenes.

It has made me very careful with money and I have put savings away ever since I started working in my first job. I'm very thrifty and always look for a bargain even when I can afford to spend more. I never want to feel that insecurity again so I prioritise having savings.

Does she get paid weekly?
How does she get extra money every week instead of monthly?

@MichelleScarn

What do you do op? Do you work/ do any activities? I can't believe that the idea that its very normal to often be skint is such a surprise to you. Do you live in a very privileged bubble?

This is getting nasty.

The majority of people in the the uk have savings, so it is unusual for people not to have any money at all with no savings to fall back on.

Yes it does happen, and that is unfortunate but OP was shocked that her friend was one of that minority of people who have no savings and regularly have no money at all.

I know it happens, but I would be surprised if anyone in my costal circle lived like this.

You sound really lovely too. I just thought I would say that.