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Original poster

My husband died suddenly today

478 replies

vickibee · 06/07/2021 01:57

And I don’t know what to do. It has not sunk in yet and I only know it happened at work around noon.
I don’t know if there is anyone up to talk to I just feel I need some human contact

OP posts:
Indoctro · 09/12/2021 12:47

@vickibee well why don't you and your son go out, and have a nice meal prepared for you. A reason to get out the house for a bit too , pop on a fancy top and go and have a nice time x

Original poster
vickibee · 15/12/2021 23:09

I really can't wait for 2021 to end. This evening we got home and had been broken into. Our alarm went off so they were disturbed and only took my bag. They did however pick up my Dh urn and carry it down to the kitchen table. I think it was mistaken for a jewellery box. Very odd . Now I am feeling stressed and waiting for csi

OP posts:
HotelCaliforniaOnRepeat · 15/12/2021 23:43

@vickibee I'm so sorry this has happened on top of everything else. I have a similar sibling set up, if you ever need to talk I'm always willing to listen.
My alarm is of the canine variety. I have read that putting up a dog sign and having a pet food bowl / less visible is a good deterrent for thieves. Your alarm did a good job. Were there any keys in your bag or any sensitive info/passwords you may need to change? I know some people keep a note.

Original poster
vickibee · 16/12/2021 00:57

It looks like they have taken dh keys off the hook. I only just noticed because they just hang there. There was a debit card which is cancelled my wireless headphones and a charging leads. Dh bought the bag for my birthday. I just thank God that left the urn as that is irreplaceable. Scumbags

OP posts:
Booklover3 · 16/12/2021 01:05

💐

Original poster
vickibee · 16/12/2021 01:19

My blue vaccination card was in my purse. With my name and nhs no on it. Is that sensitive information

OP posts:
Coffeepot72 · 16/12/2021 08:00

So sorry to hear this , thank heavens for your alarm

HotelCaliforniaOnRepeat · 16/12/2021 08:33

@vickibee I don't think they can do much with your vaccination card. Make sure you change locks on everything the set of keys will open. Was there a car key on that bunch?

Original poster
vickibee · 16/12/2021 11:38

No I was out in the car at the time.
I feel really edgy and I am desperately trying to get in touch with a locksmith.
DS kept asking if I was sure there was no one in the house, he has a high base level of anxiety anyway but this may just tip him over the edge. I had to force him into school this morning.

OP posts:
HotelCaliforniaOnRepeat · 17/12/2021 08:27

It's totally understandable that he's feeling that way. Horrible breech if your safe space. I hope you can get the locksmith sorted soon.

Original poster
vickibee · 17/12/2021 18:09

@HotelCaliforniaOnRepeat
In the end I decided to go the insurance route for convenience. Both sets of locks are changed
We are having a rubbish week, one of Guinea pigs has now died, my poor ds. I leapt him stay off school today becuase he hasn’t sept for the last two nights and needed sleep
We are supposed to be out tonite at footie but I am scared of leaving the house, not rational I know.

OP posts:
HotelCaliforniaOnRepeat · 19/12/2021 09:50

@vickibee it is rational, in that you had a bad experience while you were out. Make yourself a plan so you feel better. Leave certain lights on, even the tv if you're out for a short time. If the house looks occupied it will put chancers off.
Hopefully you're done with the bad luck now. Fingers crossed for a better year to follow

Coffeepot72 · 30/12/2021 18:44

@vickibee, just checking in with you, i know this week won’t have been easy xx

PearlclutchersInc · 30/12/2021 18:56

I'm so sorry Flowers

Original poster
vickibee · 31/12/2021 07:04

@PearlclutchersInc and @Coffeepot72
I spent yesterday choosing a 🪦 for the cemetery plot and trying to come up for appropriate wording.
I feel I have the weight of the world on my shoulders because mum is I’ll again , this time with a UTI. My Dsis disappeared to visit her son 200 miles away and has the cheek to tell me that I am not doing enough to support her and need to drop everything,
I dearly hope 2022 has better offerings for us.

OP posts:
BeetyAxe · 01/01/2022 11:05

Hi OP. I have read your thread and really do hope 2022 is a better year for you and your son. I hope you are ok after getting the headstone sorted, it’s all sounds very difficult, well done for keeping moving. Flowers

Original poster
vickibee · 01/01/2022 11:16

Ty @BeetyAxe

It is my birthday on Monday so me and DS are going to the panto, it is an annual tradition in our house but this year done as a two and not a three.
HNY to everyone whatever that means for you 🎉

OP posts:
BeetyAxe · 01/01/2022 11:39

Happy Birthday in advanceCake well done for keeping the tradition alive for your DS. I hope the pants gives you a laugh and you enjoy it.

Silkieschickens · 01/01/2022 23:34

Hope things start to improve for you in 2022 Vicki and have a lovely birthday on Monday.

Coffeepot72 · 03/01/2022 08:44

Happy Birthday Vicki, hoping you enjoy the panto xx

Rhubarbarelle · 03/01/2022 10:00

Happy birthday Vicki, hope you and your son enjoy your trip to the pantomime together x

Silkieschickens · 03/01/2022 10:13

Happy Birthday Vicki Cake

Original poster
vickibee · 03/01/2022 19:19

TY all, the panto was fab, so nice to sit and 🤣🤣🤣🤣for a couple of hours and forget all your worries.
Back to the grind tomorrow……..

OP posts:
Silkieschickens · 04/01/2022 17:06

Glad you had a lovely birthday.

Hope things start to improve for you in 2022.

Original poster
vickibee · 16/04/2022 19:31

So nine months later we have finally managed to arrange for the internment of his ashes. It is scheduled for Thursday afternoon and now I’m conflicted about what to do. I have had him at home for so long now I’ve kind of got used to having him here. I pursued this plan because I thought it was what he would have wanted. The cemetery plot is only about a 5 minute walk from home so not far to visit,
So option 1 go ahead with the internment as planned
Option 2 keep his ashes at home and have a memorial stone in the cemetery
I need to know what to do for the best and would appreciate advice
Ty in advance

OP posts:
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