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Original poster

My husband died suddenly today

478 replies

vickibee · 06/07/2021 01:57

And I don’t know what to do. It has not sunk in yet and I only know it happened at work around noon.
I don’t know if there is anyone up to talk to I just feel I need some human contact

OP posts:
Original poster
vickibee · 02/11/2021 09:12

Ds was meant to go horse riding but it was cancelled due to the adverse weather.
I am not sure how you see a few more people? They have their own busy lives to get on with. Living in a rural location prob doesn't help and also the fact that DS is a hermit - he hates going out anywhere new and yet I cant go out for a long time and leave him by himself (ASD) It is catch 22

OP posts:
HazelBite · 10/11/2021 22:01

Been thinking about you and Ds OP, how are you both doing?

Original poster
vickibee · 11/11/2021 06:34

TY @HazelBite
We are doing ok on the whole
The worst bit is the loneliness in the house, never see a soul once I am home from work. DS spends all his time on his PS4.
I start my new job on the 22nd so I am truly hoping that works out. It seemed like a really good idea at the time but I am having a wobble.
People are too scared of upsetting me but I actually want to keep my DHs memory alive by talking about him but it is like out of sight out of mind. It is four months on now.

OP posts:
Welcometothejingles · 11/11/2021 06:56

After my dad died, some people dropped off the radar for a bit mainly because they didn't want to upset me. I met up with people for a quick coffee or chat after a while. I think my friends were waiting for me to contact them so they knew I was ready to talk. Drop a quick text and see how it goes.

olderthanilookapparently · 22/11/2021 14:19

@vickibee hope the new job went well today

How are you both doing?

Original poster
vickibee · 22/11/2021 18:36

@olderthanilookapparently
TY today was my first day and my brain is frazzled, the people are really nice so I think I’ll like it once I get the hang of it
We are taking it a day at a time but it is till so raw, I can’t even say his name without being tearful. I miss him so bloody much…

OP posts:
Coffeepot72 · 24/11/2021 09:47

I'm so pleased your first day at the new job went well. This is really positive.

One day at a time, and please keep posting? xx

Silkieschickens · 26/11/2021 00:43

Glad people are nice at your new job. Sorry have been absent a while, just got diagnosed with advanced breast cancer myself so lots of tests atm but thinking of you still.

Tickledtrout · 26/11/2021 03:18

@Silkieschickens Very sorry to hear that. Wishing you the very best.Flowers

Silkieschickens · 26/11/2021 04:01

Thanks TickledTrout

Original poster
vickibee · 26/11/2021 07:13

@Silkieschickens
I am so sorry to hear that sending hugs and best wishes 🌸

OP posts:
Silkieschickens · 26/11/2021 17:38

Thanks Vicki Hope you have a nice weekend.

Original poster
vickibee · 27/11/2021 08:06

We have got about 30 cm of snow so it looks like a cosy day at home

OP posts:
Coffeepot72 · 27/11/2021 09:28

Wow, you must be further north than me! I hope you have a nice day xx

Original poster
vickibee · 27/11/2021 09:33

We are on the edge of the Pennines, on the woodhead pass

OP posts:
Silkieschickens · 27/11/2021 19:22

30cms of snow sounds lovely, though I also would be inside admiring the beauty under a fleece duvet rather than braving the cold. No sign of snow here but we have silkie chickens so glad we don't as they aren't supposed to get wet.

Original poster
vickibee · 28/11/2021 15:01

So today I have ordered a memorial bauble to place on our Xmas tree.🎄I have also received an invite to a memorial service at our local church for parishioners to remember their loved ones, and light a candle. Seems a comforting gesture.

OP posts:
Coffeepot72 · 28/11/2021 20:44

That’s lovely @vickibee, and I’m glad you find it comforting

Original poster
vickibee · 09/12/2021 07:08

Even though I am dreading Xmas it looks like me and DS are going to have to spend the day alone. I have family but they are all doing their own thing and I am disappointed that no one has asked me to join them. I will be Billy no mates as usual as DS will prob get up at midday and spend all his day gaming, so I’m going to feel pretty miserable. I just want 2022 to arrive and miss out Xmas

OP posts:
Indoctro · 09/12/2021 07:26

Maybe they think you wouldn't want to come, why don't you ask you family members if you and your son could join in.? Sometimes people get wrapped up in their own thoughts too much and maybe just haven't thought

I would ask if you could join them for Xmas. Don't sit home alone x

Dontjudgeme101 · 09/12/2021 08:38

@Indoctro

Maybe they think you wouldn't want to come, why don't you ask you family members if you and your son could join in.? Sometimes people get wrapped up in their own thoughts too much and maybe just haven't thought

I would ask if you could join them for Xmas. Don't sit home alone x

That’s a good idea.
Coffeepot72 · 09/12/2021 08:45

That's a good idea @Indoctro

Original poster
vickibee · 09/12/2021 09:27

My sister is visiting her son 200 miles away. My brother has booked Xmas lunch out with my elderly mum. So I don't think I have even been considered but TBH it doesn't really surprise me. I have always been a bit of a black sheep. We will just have to make the best of it.
Me and a friend are going to see the Sweet on Saturday night.( not a tribute) so I am looking forward to that. I am desperately trying to find someone whi can keep an eye on DS

OP posts:
Coffeepot72 · 09/12/2021 09:53

Could you join your brother and mum? I wouldn't feel bad about telling people that this is going to be a difficult Christmas and that any support would be helpful. Or could you invite your brother and mum round to yours after lunch?

Original poster
vickibee · 09/12/2021 10:44

I mentioned it to my sister and we ended up falling out as I ended up getting upset. I don’t get on with my brother all that well and he is golden boy. My mum thinks sun shines out of his you know what 🤣
I have got used to the idea of Xmas it’s just one day
Just got an Xmas card addressed to both of us from a former neighbour who I lost touch with. I have written back to explain as I don’t have a phone no .

OP posts:
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