You're invited to a friends for dinner at 7pm, what time do you ring their doorbell?

[suggestionsplease1]

Out of interest, feel free to post to the minute!

Let's say this is not a very, very close friend, so you don't have a pre-existing idea of their expectations / preferences for your arrival time.

After reading another thread on visitor etiquette on AIBU today I was wondering if mumsnetters can converge on a perfect time, or if there are widely differing ideas on this issue!

I think it depends what country you are in. In some countries 7 means 7 and there is no concept of fashionably late there's just late. Also I would check the invitation to make sure it mentions dinner.

When we lived in the Netherlands an invitation from our Dutch neeighbours to arrive at 7pm with no mention of food meant there might be a few snacks and nothing more.

When our Polish friends invited us over there would be enough food to feed the 5000 and enough drink to float a battleship. We could arrive early or late and there would always be a welcome.

I liked both as you could be confident of the rules. I find it is far less clear in Britain.

7.03. I’d have been circling the block for about 15 minutes beforehand.

Anyone arriving at 7 would find me still in the bath. 7.15 I'd be dressed and ready. 7.20 I might have makeup and shoes.

7.30

If I invited people for 7 I would find it rude if they came any later. If that's when I was invited for that's when I would arrive. I am a very punctual person.

Diagnosed ASD here and this is something that utterly baffles me. If it's 7.00 it's 7.00. I have no idea how people know about these 'rules'. I'm upset by the notion that is you arrive bang on 7.00 (which I wouldn't dream of not doing) then you've committed some sort of faux pas.

God life is complicated.

7pm. Why would you deliberately turn up late to a time they have suggested?

I'd arrive at about 6:55.

If they're not ready, no big deal. I can have a quick drink while they finish off.

The same goes for people visiting me - if they're early they can have a drink, and my house has things to amuse them while I put finishing touches to what I'm serving.

7.05

@irresistibleoverwhelm

“Tardiness” is not common - but it is American English! And therefore outside the British Class System 😂

How is it American English when it comes from the French - Tard.

As in plus tard - later, or more late.

Or are the French nicking American words now too?

If I'm invited for 7 I'd arrive at 7. Definitely not earlier and definitely no later.

If its PIL inviting then arriving at 7 or later will mean you are late, everyone else will have got there at 6 and they'll have started eating at 6:30. You'll be tutted at and BIL will have eaten most of the food

I feel 7 means 7-7-10 but if I am hosting it's fine for people to turn up between 6:50 and 7:30.

7:01

7.01pm. I'm very precise!! If I invite someone for 7pm and they appear at 7.20pm I would think them rude.

I invite people round for the time I would like them to arrive, not to participate in some 'guess the arrival time' game. I wouldn't be serving dinner up at 7 but I think the initial drinks/chat is a lovely start to an evening and wouldn't appreciate someone turning up late then expecting to sit right down to eat as if I'd called them downstairs for their tea.

I'd ring the bell at 7.05 having sat in the car for 15mins - being late is rude and there might have been a traffic jam on the way. Being early is as bad. It's good when hosts say any time after 7pm and we'll be eating at 8pm as then you know what's what. I have always arrived early for everything (even root canal treatment) and would feel physically unwell if I was held up in any way - it can be a curse.

7.05 to 7.15. I try not to be on time for these things because I know it's rude to be. But I am always late for parties.

Never before 7. Terribly rude to drive before your invited time. I’d arrive as close to just after 7 or 7 prompt. Arriving early puts stress on your host. They may need that time to get everything ready. My MIL used to always arrive early and it was always while I was still getting dressed. We us to try telling her a calf hour, and then a whole hour, later than we wanted them to arrive. But she was always early. As she was very sanctimonious about the state of everything (house, kids etc) I’d be running around like a lunatic cleaning (and cleaning again as the house gets used while I’m cleaning) that I’d have really only that last half hour to shower my sweaty self and look presentable.

7.10

@3JsMa

Between 6.45 and 7 pm. I prefer to be a bit earlier and help if needed rather then being late.I think it's offensive to the host.

Oh please don’t do this! I host people regularly and whilst I would be very polite to you at 6.45, it would massively cheese me off. At 6.45 I am counting on 20 minutes last minute getting reading, yuck hoover, get the kids in bed etc. It’s rude to arrive before the start time. You really should arrive 5-15 mins later than the time stated. Never, never early!

I've been invited to a friend's house this evening for 7pm. I'm aiming to get there for 7!! I'm on public transport so it's not an exact science anyway.

The "I'm always late" gang can fuck off. As previous posters have said, I bet you manage to be on time for appointments, work meetings, trains or flights. I can't stand people who think their time is more important than mine and don't bother to try because they are just known for being "always late". Is your child always late for school? You are selfish and rude. I wouldn't invite an "always late"r to my house.

My sister is always late. "Haha, you know me, always late" as she breezes in 85 minutes after the time I specified. Gives me rage. But then she isn't a nice person and I know she thinks her time is more important than mine as she doesn't think much of me at all.

I can not stand people being late, frequently we tell people to arrive at X time and they arrive 20/30 minutes later and I hate it.

So for me it would be 6:55 or bang on 7.

Somewhere between 7:02 & 7:05, unless they're military people, then 7pm!

I don't want anyone early, but I'd think they were annoying, if not rude if they were as late as 7:20

Between 7:05 and 7:15 after having waited in the car for a bit because no doubt, I'd have reached before time!

7:10-7:15

7.07pm

Unless it's FIL, then 6:30pm because if he invites you to dinner at 7, he's putting food on the table at 7.