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Original poster

You're invited to a friends for dinner at 7pm, what time do you ring their doorbell?

853 replies

suggestionsplease1 · 01/07/2021 23:25

Out of interest, feel free to post to the minute!

Let's say this is not a very, very close friend, so you don't have a pre-existing idea of their expectations / preferences for your arrival time.

After reading another thread on visitor etiquette on AIBU today I was wondering if mumsnetters can converge on a perfect time, or if there are widely differing ideas on this issue!

OP posts:
Thekindofwindowsfaceslookinat · 02/07/2021 01:11

I find it curious that people think it's somehow polite to turn up earlier than invited to a dinner party, as though they know better than the host what time the evening should start.

notangelinajolie · 02/07/2021 01:14

Erm if I'm invited for 7pm I'd be there for 7pm. Why is this difficult to understand?

TellmewhoIam · 02/07/2021 01:14

@LemonRoses

Most people would be a little insulted by being told 7 for 7:30. That is basically telling people they don’t have sufficient manners to consider the hosts or are unaware that they are meant to arrive 15-20 minutes after the stated time. That’s fine on a purchased event ticket, but not for supper.
Luckily not so insulted that they've stopped visiting 😝

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General relationships
notangelinajolie · 02/07/2021 01:15

Just adding that it is rude to be late and even ruder to be early. Be there for the invited time.

Middlesboroughgirl · 02/07/2021 01:16

I would aim for 7.

Quaggars · 02/07/2021 01:17

Erm if I'm invited for 7pm I'd be there for 7pm. Why is this difficult to understand?

Exactly lol.
If I wanted you any later, I would have said!
Nothing worse than wondering if someone is going to turn up when they deem fit to their own personal Princess/Prince schedule.

MerryDecembermas · 02/07/2021 01:18

Wow I didn't know turning up a few mins early was rude!!

That explains a lot of weird interactions over the years..!!

Newestname001 · 02/07/2021 01:18

In my friendship group we're quite clear. We'll usually say something like "we'll be eating at 7:30pm but feel free to arrive any time from 6:30pm for drinks beforehand. Similar with lunch. It's just easier all round knowing what's expected ... 🌹

Guavafish · 02/07/2021 01:19

7.45-8!

I’m always late

Quaggars · 02/07/2021 01:22

7.45-8!

I’m always late

Yeah, you might find you do that often enough people get wise to you and slowly stop inviting you as they can't be arsed waiting around.

Thekindofwindowsfaceslookinat · 02/07/2021 01:23

Erm if I'm invited for 7pm I'd be there for 7pm. Why is this difficult to understand?

It's not difficult to understand, it's just that - as demonstrated on this thread - people have different expectations and social graces. There isn't one answer.

In my circle, it would be normal to arrive at around 7.10 ish for a dinner party that begins at 7 pm. I would be a little surprised if someone turned up on the dot of 7, and somewhat irritated by someone turning up early.

Quaggars · 02/07/2021 01:26

OK, 10 minutes past 7 like some have said fair enough, that's on;y 10 minutes.
Some are saying around quarter to 8 though and that's taking the piss lol

Guavafish · 02/07/2021 01:28

@Quaggars

7.45-8!

I’m always late

Yeah, you might find you do that often enough people get wise to you and slowly stop inviting you as they can't be arsed waiting around.

Ha! My friends know me too well!
ClumpingBambooIsALie · 02/07/2021 01:32

@LemonRoses

Most people would be a little insulted by being told 7 for 7:30. That is basically telling people they don’t have sufficient manners to consider the hosts or are unaware that they are meant to arrive 15-20 minutes after the stated time. That’s fine on a purchased event ticket, but not for supper.
That's it. My country is completely insane 😂

Irrefutably multi-generationally middle class here, but also autistic. If you invite me round at 7, you're getting me at 7.01-7.02, depending on how far your front door is from the road. Enough time for you to glance at the clock, think to yourself "Ah, Clumping should be here any time now", and prepare yourself for the doorbell/knock so it doesn't make you jump. If you don't know me well enough to know that I will arrive when you tell me to arrive, then you're unlikely to be inviting me round for dinner and I'm unlikely to accept. I can't be doing with stupid secret rules; you might as well ask your wheelchair-using friend round to your first-floor liftless flat as expect me to intuit your meaning from a combination of your words, your tone, your class status, my understanding of your perception of my class status, the closeness of our relationship, and whether Venus is in retrograde.

Now: wine or no wine, and does it get drunk or put away? Grin

OuiOuiKitty · 02/07/2021 01:33

I'd turn up on or around 7. If I was inviting people over I would expect them between 6:50 and 7:10ish. Being a punctual person myself I wouldn't mind people being a little early and would plan to be ready to accommodate that.

gobackanddoitproperly · 02/07/2021 01:37

7 or just after. No more than 10 minutes

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 02/07/2021 01:37

7.10pm. My MIL is always early and it drives me insane.

OuiOuiKitty · 02/07/2021 01:39

@Delphigirl

All of you who say it is rude to be late are missing the point. If you are invited at 7 you are not being invited for 7. You are being invited for 7.15-7.30. You are not late until 7.30. At 7 you are early which is very rude. Family excepted. If that needs to be explained to you, then that places you in the lower part of the British class system, like it or not. Zing if your first language is not English your view might be valid for somewhere else but it doesn’t hold here. As I say, I don’t make the rules …
Hyacinth Bucket is that you? Wink
Chloemol · 02/07/2021 01:45

7pm

ShrikeAttack · 02/07/2021 01:46

I entertain a lot. I was brought up in a family that entertained. It's a half hour window. After the time given. It's OK up to half an hour after because your hosts will have allowed for that.

You are NEVER welcome early. Or after an hour late.

TellmewhoIam · 02/07/2021 01:47

I cannot bear anyone arriving even a second early. It makes me scream and hide (not literally).

Susannahmoody · 02/07/2021 01:58

7.02

SleepingStandingUp · 02/07/2021 01:59

Meh I'd rather be in the lower half of the class system and be able to use specific words to describe when I want guests to arrive than get off on feeling superior because I know I'm telling my guests one thing but using code to detect if they're classy enough for us to socialise with.

""Gosh I thought Samantha would fit into our circle nicely but then she arrived at 6.55!! I've relegated her to "play dates outside the house" now""

TaraR2020 · 02/07/2021 02:06

@TooExtraImmatureCheddar

7.20. I would intend to be there at about 7.10 but I’m always late.
Grin I was going to say 7.10 but this is so me!

Unless of course, they'd said they were serving at 7pm in which I would assume (and check) that they'd expect guests to turn up a little earlier.

DariaMorgendorffer · 02/07/2021 02:08

7.10pm