You're invited to a friends for dinner at 7pm, what time do you ring their doorbell?

[suggestionsplease1]

Out of interest, feel free to post to the minute!

Let's say this is not a very, very close friend, so you don't have a pre-existing idea of their expectations / preferences for your arrival time.

After reading another thread on visitor etiquette on AIBU today I was wondering if mumsnetters can converge on a perfect time, or if there are widely differing ideas on this issue!

7 obviously.

tbh it all depends where you are going.
unless total strangers (in which case what's going on?) you already know people's habits & expectations.

I wonder why so many people think it's rude to be on time. were you all raised in a cave on no manners & responsibilities?
are you always late for school drop off/pick uo, gp appointments, meetings, do you miss trains etc?
or is it a cultural thing?

7.10, people who turn up early are really rude a friend always arrives early and it really stresses me out, I only end up having 15-20 to get myself ready and she turns up 15-20 mins early.

To avoid ambiguity we usually say '7 for 7.30' or 'drinks at 7' or whatever. But I wouldn't ever be early. In this case about 7.05-7.10.

Never arrive early, IMO, that’s when the hosts are rushing around getting everything ready….at least in my house, anyway.🤣 I’d aim for 7:10 personally.

My longest friend will be bang on 7pm. Exactly. I think she gets their early then hides round the corner to be exact.

If it's me, I always misjudged the time I leave so I'm always 10 minutes late

@FrangipaniBlue

6.45 because you said dinner FOR 7 so I would assume that meant you were planning to serve at 7 and I needed to be there in enough time to be seated ready to eat.

If you asked me to arrive for dinner AT 7 then I'd ring your doorbell at 7.

This. I'm so confused by the people being late in purpose because they think being late is polite.
If I said to eat for 7v if expect you there by 6 45. By 7 is be checking my phone every two minutes. By 10 past I'd be thinking you'd forgot

If you've never been to dinner with them before then you make sure you are at their house for 6:55. Too early is bad mannered.

I was invited for dinner at 7 - expecting drinks first then to eat at around 8. I got there at 7 and everyone was sat around the table and about to start. Dinner 'at' 7 can mean dinner at 7.

Another time was for 7 and we ate after 9. I think some posher folk eat later in general but this doesn't always apply.

If it's a close friend then any time between 6:30 and 7:30. If I'm too early I can help them prep or if I'm running late because I went to pick up pudding/wine they wouldn't bat an eyelid.
Anyone else and I'd arrive at 7 on the dot.

7:05 or after. But before 7:10pm

Aha you see (and I work somewhere where we regularly get ‘x for x:30’ invitations); I would actually read that differently. Fly understanding is that, “come at 7” = “whatever you do don’t arrive before 7:10-7:15”; but “7 for 7:30” means “most people will arrive between 7:15 and 7:25, but it’s absolutely fine to arrive bang on 7 if you are desperate to get more drinks in before dinner.”

Fly? My understanding. Not flies. 🤦‍♀️

As close to 7pm as possible.

If I'm invited for 7 I would arrive at 7. If i invited people for 7 I would expect them to be here at 7.

7:20-30.

7.05-7.10pm.

I hate the ambiguity of “come over for x o’clock”, as I literally don’t know what is required. I always specify arrival and eating time: “come over from 7pm, for dinner at 8pm. Some come at 7.05 and are two cocktails down before dinner - others might have been aiming for 7.15, which turns into 7.45. Either is fine, but I always try to be ready with drinks and nibbles for 7pm - and I never delay dinner for those arriving late. An hour should be enough for even the most disorganised to manage.

Im very specific in invites- come at 7pm.to eat at 7.30, for example.

Around 10 past the hour.

I wouldn't hold dinner for late arrivers.

7pm. Lateness drives me crazy. I have a friend who is ALWAYS at least half an hour late for everything. She is very nonchalant about it and thinks it’s hilarious. I think it is the height of rudeness!

@Halo1234

6.55 to 7.05.

This. But I’d consider 7.05 late. We’re always on time which was really difficult when we lived somewhere everyone else was on island time. They’d turn up any between 7.45 and 9

@Dutchesss Noooo, if I wanted you to help me prep things, I’d have asked you to come early!

I usually go to my best friend’s house early to help out if she’s having a party, but it’s pre-arranged. I tend to change into my naice outfit at the last minute so any early guests will catch me mid-changing!

This is a class issue. Those who know to arrive at 7.10-7.15 are middle class and those who say 6.55, oooh no you can’t be late, how rude etc are not.
Sorry I don’t make the rules

If someone tells me to be there for 7 I get there for 7 . If you don't want me until 7.15 just say so

SO confused why people are saying arriving at 7 would be rude ? i think it would be rude to turn up 20 mins late ?