You're invited to a friends for dinner at 7pm, what time do you ring their doorbell?

[suggestionsplease1]

Out of interest, feel free to post to the minute!

Let's say this is not a very, very close friend, so you don't have a pre-existing idea of their expectations / preferences for your arrival time.

After reading another thread on visitor etiquette on AIBU today I was wondering if mumsnetters can converge on a perfect time, or if there are widely differing ideas on this issue!

7.05 ,to early & they be not ready ,later is rude unless your bringing 2 bottles of wine

7.10
Definitely not 6.55 as a PP said!

Only well said if you value sycophancy. My valid points are undiminished by you two gushing

If a social behaviour (or for want of a better phrase etiquette) regard timekeeping has a norm or convention that is not explicit, then it is by itsnature exclusionary and arbitrary. The notion that a 7pm invite actually means arrive at 720 or be considered rude Is exclusionary as it is not made explicitly clear to arrive 720. The assumption and presumption is the guest will know about this convention and observe it. The lateness is expected but not requested. The actual request is 7pm arrival but some hosts actually want a 720pm arrival without explicitly saying so, and the host then deems punctuality to be rude. Expecting a guest to know or understand unsaid rules is exclusionary. It expects a set of knowledge based on class,habit and often moribund antiquated rules

Sounds like the French social quarter of an hour is an English adoption!

7!

Depends when you say dinner at 7 is that sitting down at 7? If so, 6.50. If not arrive as near to 7 as possible.
I ask myself when people would arrive if a restaurant table was booked at 7?

I ask myself when people would arrive if a restaurant table was booked at 7?
I’d arrive 1855 to have time to be ushered to table etc

First of all I'd clarify if it was to arrive at 7 or eat at 7 as that seems unclear. If the former then I'd probably get there around 6.50 as I'd be worried about traffic/delays making me late and lurk around unseen until about 7.04. I hate to be late so that's the best I could manage.

7pm, it always bugs me when people are late, it's a massive pet peeve of mine.

I'd say 18:45 although me being me its usually 19:20

7, why say 7 if they don’t mean 7? I hate when i agree a time and someone is late by more than ten minutes

If someone says “come for 7” in my head I hear ‘come any time from 7’ so would aim to arrive maybe 7.15. My husband on the other hand hears ‘come for 7’ and interprets it as ‘arrive by 7’ so would feel flustered arriving anytime after 7.

20 years of marriage and this is one of the few things we can’t agree on!

Exactly. If 7 actually means 720 say the arrival time is actually 720

Isn't it funny that when people say 7 we assume they don't mean it!

Humans can be strange at times!

7.03pm I'd sit in the car until exactly 7 then get out and ring the doorbell! If it was someone I knew well I'd probably be earlier as I'm always early but only about 10 mins.

7!

I hate poor punctuality and certainly wouldn't see it as polite to rock up at 7.20. I'd find it rude as hell.

Working class through and through if it matters.

When I got there which would likely to be 6.55-7.00. If I invite people over I would always be ready at least 30 mins before I asked them to arrive for.

When you arrive

Indeed, if I invite guests for 7 I am ready from 1830 on. I’m not caught out or on the hop. at 18.55 hoping guests will be late

I'm starting to think that this thread is probably split between people who have given/attended dinner parties as I know them to be, and those who choose not to.

I was thinking it's a divide between those who read 'invited friends over for dinner' and jumped to a dinner party with all those social mores and those who just read it as inviting friends over for dinner.

I really can't see anything in the OPs posts that says it's a dinner party other than possibly being invited. It did make me wonder if some people don't just invite friends over to eat sometimes without the canapes and all that.

@kindaclassy

It's weird and not fair on people who simply have no idea that you think they're being rude. but now you do know.

so will you arrive on time, or at the polite expected time?

Nope! But in future I might ask them to be very clear about what time they actually want me (probably followed by a wink). It all seems very cloak and daggers. I have been to many dinner parties and never experienced people arriving late. I don't go to randomers houses though, just friends and family, who would just tell me if I was being rude! (I'm friends with some very posh people too) so not just a class thing.

I’d have asked if dinner was being served at 7. If they said yes I’d be at least 15/20 mins early to help/get settled, if they said no to get there for 7 I’d get there around 7.

If I’m hosting, I always say 7 for 7.30, which means dinner will be at 7.30, and I would expect people to turn up at around 7.15.

Between 7 and 7.15.

7.05 - 7.10 😊