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Original poster

Is it rude to do this when invited for dinner?

624 replies

yummytum · 01/07/2021 18:47

I often bring my own bottle of fizzy drink when going to someone else's house for dinner.

There's been a few situations over the years where I just don't know the host enough to know if they'll have a fizzy.

Anyway, I'm off to MIL's for a dinner tomorrow night and H questioned me in the car, saying 'Oh you're not bringing a bottle of drink are you? People must feel really uncomfortable'.

I said I am! It's what I like to have with my food. He just looked very Hmm

Am I really rude to do this? Is it some unspoken etiquette? If it helps, I don't announce it's for sharing but I do always say 'Got this with me, you're welcome to some' to the person standing by whilst I put it in the fridge

OP posts:
SquashMinusIsShit · 03/07/2021 14:32

@warmfluffytowels

The snobbery on this thread is unreal Grin

It's totally acceptable to drink fizzy alcoholic fruit juice but heaven forbid someone prefers something non-alcoholic and fizzy instead Wink

I know right!

Or overpriced fizzy elderflower presse in a glass bottle is perfectly fine but not Diet Coke 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
yummytum · 03/07/2021 15:09

[quote Kayl23]@yummytum Hey! I don't think it's rude. Could I ask, is it because you don't drink alcohol? If so, then I think it's perfectly fine. I stopped drinking alcohol a few months before getting pregnant and started taking my own drinks out with me, usually some form of alcohol free wine if it was a meal, because otherwise I'd almost always end up just sat drinking water all night which was very boring. Unfortunately people seem to find it incredibly outrageous when a person doesn't want to drink alcohol in social situations haha, but I don't think there's anything wrong with taking an alternative drink for yourself because not many people have the option for you anyway! [/quote]

I don't drink because I suffer from hemiplegic migraines that mimic that of a stroke (slurred speech, face droops to one side, can't feel my arms). But in all honesty I just don't like alcohol very much anyway

OP posts:
Ilovecaviar · 03/07/2021 17:31

Well then, they should be catering for you. Especially family!!!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General relationships
JennieLee · 03/07/2021 17:43

I have a friend who suffers badly with hemiplegic migraines, so I was surprised by your dirink preferences. Obviously different things are triggers in different cases and we can't cut out all the things that we enjoy.. But I note on www.axonoptics.com/hemiplegic-migraine-guide/
that common triggers include

Beverages such as diet sodas and drinks that contain a lot of caffeine as well as wine and other types of alcohol

Original poster
yummytum · 03/07/2021 18:17

Jennie Sugar is a trigger and also a life saver for a lot of sufferers. I don't like regular Coke, or really any coke/Pepsi, but a can of red coke when I notice 'warning signs' such as my eyesight going, works wonders a lot of the time

OP posts:
NigellaSeed · 03/07/2021 18:42

@VerticalHorizon comment of the thread!

Crockof · 03/07/2021 18:46

@JennieLee

I have a friend who suffers badly with hemiplegic migraines, so I was surprised by your dirink preferences. Obviously different things are triggers in different cases and we can't cut out all the things that we enjoy.. But I note on www.axonoptics.com/hemiplegic-migraine-guide/ that common triggers include

Beverages such as diet sodas and drinks that contain a lot of caffeine as well as wine and other types of alcohol

What's the point of this reply, are you accusing the op of lying about her condition, or do you think you, and dr Google know better than the op?
SmileyClare · 03/07/2021 18:47

I can understand wanting to have a can of red coke with you if it prevents the disabling hemiplegic attacks you suffer from. That sounds awful.
You should perhaps have explained that at the beginning rather than on page 23.Confused

PerciphonePuma · 03/07/2021 19:02

Do you really hate water that much OP??

mbosnz · 03/07/2021 19:38

We have a friend who always brings cans of diet coke, even though we always get some in! I think it's just a habit, so she knows that she has her preferred tipple. As far as we're concerned it's absolutely fine.

Baystard · 03/07/2021 20:44

I'm confused OP, are you actually telling us that you take this fizzy drink with you as a measure to resolve a migraine (which as a follow migraineur I totally understand), rather than because you want to drink fizzy drink with a meal?

LadyDanburysCane · 03/07/2021 21:47

@JennieLee

I have a friend who suffers badly with hemiplegic migraines, so I was surprised by your dirink preferences. Obviously different things are triggers in different cases and we can't cut out all the things that we enjoy.. But I note on www.axonoptics.com/hemiplegic-migraine-guide/ that common triggers include

Beverages such as diet sodas and drinks that contain a lot of caffeine as well as wine and other types of alcohol

Not all fizzy drinks contain caffeine! I sometimes have trouble finding a soft drink that is safe for me to drink at a pub or restaurant so certainly can’t expect a friends house to contain something that won’t make me (and their bathroom) very miserable.

If OP needs a certain drink for ANY reason then she should be able to take it along. I would be happy with water with my meal but not keen on drinking it all evening.

littlegiant · 03/07/2021 21:58

@BrilliantBetty

Hi I think I know you.

Are you my husband's friend's wife who always brings a large bottle of diet coke. And has diet coke in the car as well. I don't think it's rude but a bit strange? Is it really necessary to drink fizzy? Just drink water or whatever they are offering with the meal.

I would probably try and remove this habit before it become too ingrained.

I disagree.

If it was her preferred alcohol nobody would remark on it.

I don't think it should be considered as a negative as it is a soft drink? Why should she be satisfied with only water as a soft option?

mam0918 · 03/07/2021 21:59

@Osrie

When all others offer is alcoholic drinks I think that’s thoughtless. It’s like decades ago when the only alternative for a vegetarian guest was a lump of cheese. So no I wouldn’t think you rude.
as a veggie I think you mean a stuffed pepper (honestly who invented the myth that we like that?) but that at least was thought and effort usually it was either that or 'pick the meat out of whatever is being served'.

I have never been served cheese (probably good as I dont like it, I can handle a bit in a sauce or on something but I cant just sit and eat cheese lumps even small ones).

Original poster
yummytum · 03/07/2021 22:17

@Baystard

I'm confused OP, are you actually telling us that you take this fizzy drink with you as a measure to resolve a migraine (which as a follow migraineur I totally understand), rather than because you want to drink fizzy drink with a meal?

No

OP posts:
Original poster
yummytum · 03/07/2021 22:18

@PerciphonePuma

Do you really hate water that much OP??

No, I just don't want it with my meal

OP posts:
Original poster
yummytum · 03/07/2021 22:18

@SmileyClare

I can understand wanting to have a can of red coke with you if it prevents the disabling hemiplegic attacks you suffer from. That sounds awful. You should perhaps have explained that at the beginning rather than on page 23.Confused

Not really relevant though, as I like a drink of fizz with my meal regardless

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 03/07/2021 22:48

I've read a good half of the thread and no one has mentioned this yet...

I'd find it rude, with the reason being that fizzy pop doesn't 'go' with food. Unless they're serving up chicken nuggets and chips. Assuming they're serving something they've spent a while preparing, it's rude because fizzy pop would ruin the palate for it. A bit like pouring half a bottle of ketchup or something over some elaborate delicate dish.

VerticalHorizon · 03/07/2021 22:56

I'd find it rude, with the reason being that fizzy pop doesn't 'go' with food

There is no rule book.
Who decided wine does go?
Coke is actually used as an ingredient in some dishes (although largely to act as a sugar syrup).

There is an awful lot of snobbery in the food and drink world. If Betty loves her Petrus, and Hilda loves her diet coke, then so be it.

I've had the same snobbery all my life with people trying to convince me I'd never had the right whisky. I just don't like whisky and that's that, yet people persist on telling me I'm missing out, that I need to learn to love it.

Sod that.

If Heston Blumenthal can convince people to drink frozen milk through the backside of an Amazonian armadillo, anything goes!

chickenyhead · 03/07/2021 22:59

When I host, I wouldn't be offended, I would just make sure I had your usual in, and nicely chilled.

My friend likes appletise. I buy her appletise. Because she matters.

warmfluffytowels · 03/07/2021 23:01

@arethereanyleftatall

I've read a good half of the thread and no one has mentioned this yet...

I'd find it rude, with the reason being that fizzy pop doesn't 'go' with food. Unless they're serving up chicken nuggets and chips. Assuming they're serving something they've spent a while preparing, it's rude because fizzy pop would ruin the palate for it. A bit like pouring half a bottle of ketchup or something over some elaborate delicate dish.

It's not upto you to dictate what other grown adults eat and drink!

How controlling Confused

Travielkapelka · 03/07/2021 23:21

Those of you who say that fizzy drinks don’t go with a meal - do you never order drinks in a restaurant? I’m feeling like I’ve committed some kind of massive faux pas as I often order a Diet Coke in a restaurant regardless of how posh it is. I had no idea I wasn’t meant to and ive eaten in wonderful restaurants all over the world

SmackMyAssnCallMeJudy · 03/07/2021 23:24

do you never order drinks in a restaurant?

Yes, wine.

VerticalHorizon · 03/07/2021 23:27

Did Judy just call you a swine?

Stygimoloch · 03/07/2021 23:40

@arethereanyleftatall
I'd find it rude, with the reason being that fizzy pop doesn't 'go' with food

In your opinion it doesn’t. Others disagree! How is that rude? I often drink fizzy drinks with food. It’s a strange world where that makes me rude 🤣.