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Original poster

Is it rude to do this when invited for dinner?

624 replies

yummytum · 01/07/2021 18:47

I often bring my own bottle of fizzy drink when going to someone else's house for dinner.

There's been a few situations over the years where I just don't know the host enough to know if they'll have a fizzy.

Anyway, I'm off to MIL's for a dinner tomorrow night and H questioned me in the car, saying 'Oh you're not bringing a bottle of drink are you? People must feel really uncomfortable'.

I said I am! It's what I like to have with my food. He just looked very Hmm

Am I really rude to do this? Is it some unspoken etiquette? If it helps, I don't announce it's for sharing but I do always say 'Got this with me, you're welcome to some' to the person standing by whilst I put it in the fridge

OP posts:
AmIPeriOrAreYouJustAnnoying · 02/07/2021 21:21

I couldn't bring myself to be offended by someone bringing a soft drink. It's a total non issue 🤷‍♀️

overtherainbo · 02/07/2021 21:36

I wouldn't be offended at all. In fact it's your family's home so you should be comfortable enough to take your choice of soft drink. It's not like you are taking it to a restaurant.

OhRene · 02/07/2021 22:36

I love the folk clutching their pearls at the terribly unhealthy soft drinks instead of wine.

Since when is booze a fucking health drink? They serving it at the gyms nowadays instead of kale smoothies?

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Thekindofwindowsfaceslookinat · 02/07/2021 22:46

I love the folk clutching their pearls at the terribly unhealthy soft drinks instead of wine

Is there much 'pearl clutching' on this aspect though? I haven't seen too much of it on this thread, perhaps surprisingly for MN.

SmackMyAssnCallMeJudy · 02/07/2021 22:47

Agree - it’s not the health aspect that people are focusing on, on this thread.

NigellaSeed · 02/07/2021 22:58

Think the pearl clutching was about fizzy being the height of childish. Unlike judging people for their choice of beverage, which is really cool and totally more like high school.

Mymapuddlington · 02/07/2021 23:00

Any Pearl clutching is purely because an apparently grown woman can’t go anywhere without her ‘fizzy’ and thinks a £1 bottle that can be shared isn’t odd when most people would buy something nice for the host or to be shared.

VerticalHorizon · 02/07/2021 23:01

That is a gross misrepresentation

SallySycamore · 02/07/2021 23:33

@NigellaSeed

Id be pretty embarrassed if I were the host and all I had for the non drinker was water. At a dinner party! That's BU.

To all your wine drinkers who thinks the OP has no manners, I can only imagine the AIBU if you went to a friend's for a meal and there was no wine, only water, and you weren't allowed to bring wine.

It honestly wouldn't bother me — I'd struggle far more at a dinner where they only served wine and/or fizzy drinks.

I find water is more thirst quenching than anything else and it goes with any food without overpowering it, which is a risk with something like ginger beer.

AnonIsTaken · 02/07/2021 23:38

I'm really confused at the amount of people thinking it's rude and weird for op to take a bottle of pop along, but it would be fine if it was a bottle of wine, or gin? So what if she wants a glass of lemonade or whatever it is with her meal while everyone else is drinking wine/beer/g&t? I genuinely don't see what the problem is. It's not rude at all. People saying that it's weird that she has to drink it all the time, but what about everyone that has to have an alcoholic drink every night? Why is that the norm?

People genuinely baffle me 😂

Mandalay246 · 03/07/2021 00:01

I would find it weird if an adult drank fizzy drinks - outside sparkling wine or water- at the dinner table

Replace "fizzy drinks" with wine or gin - is that weird too? Also as a pp said - why is Coke alone not okay for an adult to drink but perfectly acceptable when it's mixed with alcohol. Confused Honestly, some of you need to get out more!

JeansShirtJeansJacket · 03/07/2021 00:31

@Mandalay246

I would find it weird if an adult drank fizzy drinks - outside sparkling wine or water- at the dinner table

Replace "fizzy drinks" with wine or gin - is that weird too? Also as a pp said - why is Coke alone not okay for an adult to drink but perfectly acceptable when it's mixed with alcohol. Confused Honestly, some of you need to get out more!

I agree.

I am usually a regular alcohol drinker, but obviously stopped during pregnancy. I found diet coke was a decent replacement for social events where everyone else was boozing. The amount of drunk people lecturing me on the health concerns of diet coke was unbelievable. One woman actually had the audacity to say " is that... coke? Ugh, yuck!" whilst swilling a lager!

Totally bizarre. I lost a little bit of respect for those people, if I'm being honest.

Who cares what people are drinking as long as you are all enjoying each other's company and having a nice time?

BarbaraofSeville · 03/07/2021 03:45

Also as a pp said - why is Coke alone not okay for an adult to drink but perfectly acceptable when it's mixed with alcohol

But you wouldn't have a vodka and coke with a meal, would you? Most people think that sweet fizzy drinks don't go with food, that's the point. I wouldn't have a G&T with a meal either for the same reason.

Lovelydiscusfish · 03/07/2021 04:58

I don’t think taking the drink is rude.

I think shoving it in their fridge while saying “Got this with me - you’re welcome to some” seems a little odd. In fact, so odd it’s given me the giggles picturing it. I’m sure you don’t do this in reality, but in my mind you are barging past them on your way to their kitchen, cooling your fizzy drink your sole priority…..

As presumably most of the people you dine with are well known to you, have none of them picked up on your drinks preference and started catering for it? I would I think…..

OldTinHat · 03/07/2021 05:03

I was invited to dinner at a friend's a week ago, a group of us went. The invite said to bring along "whatever you want to drink". I took Pepsi Max. Perfectly normal!

BogRollBOGOF · 03/07/2021 07:00

At our wedding we bought a load of Schloer for the tables along with the wine. A lot of our guests don't drink alcohol, plus drivers, pregnant or just want something different. Guests really appreciated being provided with an appropriate drink rather than just boring water and not having to trek to the bar for an over-priced lemonade, while the drinkers got the usual red/ white provided.

No pearls were clutched.

NigellaSeed · 03/07/2021 07:24

@Mymapuddlington

Any Pearl clutching is purely because an apparently grown woman can’t go anywhere without her ‘fizzy’ and thinks a £1 bottle that can be shared isn’t odd when most people would buy something nice for the host or to be shared.
She said she brings flowers or cake.
NigellaSeed · 03/07/2021 07:26

Did she say she cant go anywhere without it, I could of missed this. But it might be she only drinks fizzy drinks as a treat on occasions such as dinner parties

TacoSunday · 03/07/2021 07:46

I’ve noticed “fizzy” being used as a noun a few times. Is this a thing now?

NotSure94 · 03/07/2021 07:53

I don't get the equivalence with alcohol that posters are making. If I brought a bottle of wine, primarily for my own consumption although I might he happy to share 'my' drink that would be odd and rather rude too.

warmfluffytowels · 03/07/2021 08:09

The snobbery on this thread is unreal Grin

It's totally acceptable to drink fizzy alcoholic fruit juice but heaven forbid someone prefers something non-alcoholic and fizzy instead Wink

ElderMillennial · 03/07/2021 08:10

I think it's weird and I wouldn't want you going in my fridge plus generally it's very full if we have people over for dinner.

Why can't you just have whatever you are offered for the night or water if there is nothing else? It's weird you can't go a few hours without "fizzy".

And before you say something about wine, I barely drink alcohol and can definitely go without it.

gamerchick · 03/07/2021 08:13

@NigellaSeed

Did she say she cant go anywhere without it, I could of missed this. But it might be she only drinks fizzy drinks as a treat on occasions such as dinner parties
If the OH is bring it up as a negative and the OP is straight on the defense with comparisons to alcohol. I wouldn't think this was a special occasion thing.

As well as the assumption you can just put shit in someone else's fridge without asking first.

It's not the taking your own drink that's odd, it's the whole tone of it in the OP.

warmfluffytowels · 03/07/2021 08:27

Why can't you just have whatever you are offered for the night or water if there is nothing else? It's weird you can't go a few hours without "fizzy".

Maybe she doesn't like other drinks? Why should someone be stuck with tap water when everyone else is having their alcoholic drink of choice? Confused

Stygimoloch · 03/07/2021 08:40

OP you have highlighted just how weird and ridiculous some people on here are!

You’ve been called a child, uncouth and not well-bred for liking fizzy drinks 🤣🤣. Mostly from people who then talk about drinking fizzy wine and having elderflower cordial like this makes them somehow seem well-bred rather than cringe-worthy snobs.

Some people really struggle with those who don’t drink alcohol. It feels better to call you a child and ridicule you for liking fizzy drinks than it does to admit that alcohol is really bad for you (as are many fizzy drinks but the point is, alcohol isn’t any better). This view of wine as being socially acceptable because it is the preferred drink of the middle classes really baffles me.

It doesn’t make you more sophisticated because you prefer wine! 🤣 And the idea that you can only drink water or posh cordial if not drinking wine so you’ll fit in with the pretentious atmosphere of a dinner party is quite frankly ridiculous!

I don’t drink alcohol and find wine snobs beyond boring. My friends know I don’t drink. They provide drinks I like if I’m invited round. I would be expected to drink water as some sort of penance for not drinking their carefully chosen wine which compliments perfectly the food (cringe 🤣).

With you all the way OP! Some people on this thread! 🤣🤣

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