Do you worry about what your DP/DH does when you’re not together?

[WildflowerWildfire]

I don’t mean cheating, I mean more like watching porn etc. I don’t know whether I’m just incredibly insecure but I can’t stand the thought of him doing this when he’s home alone or I’m at work etc. Am I crazy/controlling?

@WildflowerWildfire

I’m glad I’m not completely alone. I know it’s not a normal way to think and I really wish I could snap out of it. I questioned him about porn and he said he had used it previously when we had a long spell without having sex. But I’m thinking that it’s more frequent than that and he’s just trying to save my feelings. I find myself getting annoyed with him when he’s lounging around at home after work and I’m not home (he works nights). How do I stop this?

He's not lounging around if he works nights any more than you lounge around when you get home. He's probably knackered.

However, it does depress me how social media portrays women and how my daughter and other young girls will grow up thinking that this is what women look like. The influencers and the models on Instagram etc is just too much IMO.

But this has been the case forever. We all worry our daughters (or son) will follow a wrong path influenced by what's popular.

But this isnt about that. You don't have an issue with how women are viewed by your daughter and intelligence not being valued. You didn't bring this up until several pages in.

You problem is that in romantic relationships, you don't feel you are attractive enough.

If an actress was super attractive but also super intelligent, would that make you more comfortable?

In relation to your daughter, you need to speak to her about these issues. About hoe people present one way to the media, but are another way (lots of these super attractive women are very intelligent, but their looks is the many thing they put out there). Make sure she knows about women from all walks of life, all races and show her how great women can be.