Another parent unkind to my baby

[HotelTowels]

I just want to rant about this if that's ok. I was at an outdoor performance for babies today (under 1's). We sat in bubbles on little circles on the grass and watched the show. Babies were encouraged to be themselves, make baby noises, clap, cry or whatever but parents were encouraged to try to keep babies inside the circles until the short show was over, after which there'd be a free play session where they could crawl about.

A mum and dad sat behind us and their little girl (who was wearing a tutu) was walking all around the set of the performance, going right up to the actors, picking up props etc and wandering through the audience. Her parents didn't try and get her, they just sat back looking really smug proud. (To be fair her walking was very advanced). All the other parents kept their babies inside their circles, so why couldn't they?

My little boy was, at first, glued to the performance, giggling and loving it, but as soon as he saw the little girl walking all over the stage he stopped focusing on the show and was itching to crawl over there as well. He's loves going up to other babies whenever he can. So we had to keep pulling him back with us which was frustrating as before she appeared he had been watching the show.

After the show, they let the babies explore freely. My son is 11 months and crawls and also bum shuffles everywhere at the moment. He started excitedly bum shuffling over to other babies. I thought bum shuffling was quite common for babies but he got lots of comments from other parents like "wow look at him go" and "that's a novel way to get around!" All said warmly and kindly.

Then my baby shuffled over to tutu baby's parents and I noticed the dad was watching my son with the most horrible expression on his face. He was shaking his head incredulously and sort of sniggering with a half disgusted look on his face, and started pointing out my son's bum shuffling to his wife/partner and making a sort of mocking face. He then caught me looking at him and quickly switched to a smile. All the while my gorgeous little boy was cheerfully heading over to them with a big smile in a lovely trusting way and was looking right at the dad!

I felt such a surge of protectiveness over my son I had to bite my lip! It really made me sad. Of course my son didn't notice or understand but I can't believe a grown man could behave like that towards a little baby!!

I'm still seething and it was hours ago!!! I guess the playground politics starts now!

post edited by MNHQ in order to remove disablist term

I dont get why someone would mock a baby who is bum shuffling though? Am I missing something? I prob am!

It's completely normal to be upset if you catch someone mocking your baby
But you still haven't explained what a "mocking idiot face" actually looks like, op, so I'm going with the view that you are the (vastly) over sensitive mother of a PFB.

@baldafrique

I dont get why someone would mock a baby who is bum shuffling though? Am I missing something? I prob am!

I don't think they were mocking the baby, it's unnatural. I would think they are amused how quick the baby was moving or how efficient he was moving. But Op took it wrong way because she judges others, so she expects others to judge too. That's my impression.

Two of mine were bum shufflers

They looked both strange and amusing at the same time

Perhaps he thought the same when looking at your DC - hence the look on his face?

@roguetomato I see!

Bum shufflers are funny if you haven't seen one before, I've only met 2 shufflers and have worked with children for 18 years!

It amazes me how quick they can move and you could see the determination in their little faces which used to crack me up

@GreyhoundG1rl

It's completely normal to be upset if you catch someone mocking your baby But you still haven't explained what a "mocking idiot face" actually looks like, op, so I'm going with the view that you are the (vastly) over sensitive mother of a PFB.

@GreyhoundG1rl

amazing, for once we agree on something 🤣

@HotelTowels

* You're unpleasant aren't you.

This was obviously not just a passing facial expression
He was shaking his head incredulously and sort of sniggering with a half disgusted look on his face, and started pointing out my son's bum shuffling to his wife/partner and making a sort of mocking idiot face

Anyone looking in the general direction would've noticed. He obviously also realised that what he was doing was unacceptable as

He then caught me looking at him and quickly switched to a smile

It's completely normal to be upset if you catch someone mocking your baby. Jesus, that doesn't need saying though does it. You already know that but thought you'd take an opportunity to be horrible to someone on the Internet.*

Thank you @BlaBlaSmthSmth 💕

There is so much nasty bullying on this thread.

There really is isn't there. The amount of sneering on this site really gets under my skin.

Try not to take it personally, some posters seem to look for people to pile on. They would've found something to disagree with no matter what you posted.

Did you expect the couple to stand up so your child could continue walking on the wall? 😂

@GreyhoundG1rl hahaha no! What made you think that? I just did not expect them to pull a horrible face at a 2 year old. Can't imagine why anyone would want to be mean to a 2 year old.

@baldafrique

I dont get why someone would mock a baby who is bum shuffling though? Am I missing something? I prob am!

Agree, also don't understand why someone would mock a baby in a tutu

@DoucheCanoe

Bum shufflers are funny if you haven't seen one before, I've only met 2 shufflers and have worked with children for 18 years!

It amazes me how quick they can move and you could see the determination in their little faces which used to crack me up

Really? I’d no idea they were so rare! I never crawled and neither did DS, so I wondered vaguely whether there was a genetic component.

Watching him slide around bolt upright, occasionally making halfhearted attempts to crawl and stopping in disgust, I decided the governing factor was that he couldn’t carry stuff when he was on all fours, and he was the type of baby who loved moving stuff around.

Maybe @Spandrel!

Both of mine commando crawled everywhere, neither got on to all fours. They looked like slugs - particularly if they were in their sleeping bags 🤣

It's all so... 9 yrs old.

"Miss, Miss! Amy made a face at me!"

I just can't fathom giving the simple facial expressions of a stranger this much headspace.

@DoucheCanoe

Maybe *@Spandrel*!

Both of mine commando crawled everywhere, neither got on to all fours. They looked like slugs - particularly if they were in their sleeping bags 🤣

We’ll, it sounds seriously cute.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba
What a thoroughly unpleasant post.

@Maddox33

So this parent, in your opinion, was making a sort of mocking idiot face as if he thinks my son is a total cretin - then later describe the man as some kind of moron.

You need to pick your battles and update your terminology or you will come to grief.

It wouldn't surprise me if the tutu-wearing walking girl's parents were reading this thread, you've made them pretty identifiable.

When / where did I describe the man as a "moron" please???

@Pinot4evs

You sound a massive drama llama

1 - there’s nothing wrong with tutus, Gok
2 - you’ve no idea what the man was thinking about where you thought he was throwing your baby daggers
3 - you sound rather jealous of the tutu wearing walking baby and not a very nice person using disabilist language
4 - I’d probably look surprised at a bum shuffling baby invading my space

HTH

Not really no. Just another nasty post.

@MrsLCSofLichfield

The guy sounds like a wanker. All the posters saying you are overreacting/being ridiculous would have noticed and minded if it had been their baby. Or perhaps they are all superior beings who are above such petty slights? Do your best to forget about it

Thank you thank you!! I know. So many posters are so quick to be bitchy. I was only snidey about the tutu in retrospect when writing this post after the dad was so obviously being nasty about my baby boy, and guess what I was feeling maternal and protective!

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER

I don’t blame you for being upset, OP - the least little slight to your beloved baby can affect you a lot worse than any slight to you personally.

Just don’t dwell on it - put it down to the bloke being an insensitive arse. At least your baby didn’t know or care - there may be worse later, when they’re a bit older and do know and care, even if it’s something trivial that’s upset them, and you so badly want to make it better for them, but maybe can’t. Except of course for cuddles and something specially nice for tea.🙂

Thank you. No of course I won't dwell on it. Thanks for your understanding. I just came on here to let off steam as I didn't react or respond in the slightest in the moment. I've not been out much with my baby yet so this was the first time I've experienced someone being unkind to him.

I was only snidey about the tutu in retrospect when writing this post after the dad was so obviously being nasty about my baby boy, and guess what I was feeling maternal and protective!
Have you any idea how ridiculous you sound? I wouldn't have been snidey if they hadn't started it...
Some serious growing up needed.

@MustardRose

What really makes me angry is the attitude of some parents with small children who allow them to run around and mess about near (and sometimes even climb onto) the stage when there is any kind of performance going on.

It shows a total lack of consideration or respect towards the professionals doing their job, and a complete disregard for the rest of the audience, who are trying to watch the show. Unless it is a special performance put on specifically for those with additional needs, then people should keep their kids under control.

So I'm with you on this one. Total arseholes.

Thank you @MustardRose Yes exactly, it was perfectly easy to keep little ones within the large circle mats they'd provided. My son was glued to the show. It only became difficult when this little girl started walking all around in front of the babies and on the stage. They all started getting distracted by her. Up until that point every other baby had managed fine and we're watching the actors. The parents should have gently collected her. Instead they were literally sat back leaning in their deckchairs letting her run riot.

@Beannag

Oh goodness, it's going to be a long 18 years or so for you. I'm more surprised and babies sat watching any of it, if the staff weren't happy with the girl then it's up to them to sort. I would bet the other parents don't care about your son bum shuffling.

Read my previous posts - babies were all engaged, until the little girl came on and ruined it.

@Kolo

Reading your post made a similar memory of mine come to mind. It was a decade ago now, my son was 2, walking along a wall alongside the path. It was a low wall, and a young couple were sitting on it. I was watching, but a few metres away, and the place was busy (it was the park at the back of the London eye), and my son came up to the sitting couple. I, of course, was thinking what a bloody genius at balancing my child was, and how amazingly cute and gorgeous, but then this woman, not knowing I was watching, pulled this awful face at him, as if he was dirt, because he'd come up to them and paused, working out what to do. I swear I wanted to smack that bitch in the face for pulling a face at my child. I could smack her right now, the memory still makes me livid.

I didn't smack her, of course, I called my son, to let her know I'd seen her and she was embarrassed.

I know it's not exactly rational, and theoretically I know a large proportion of the population don't love my son. But feelings aren't always rational. I still want to smack her horrible face right off.

Thank you @Kolo for understanding! You know what you saw. It wasn't a fleeting facial expression. It was a sustained reaction until he saw me looking. It's horrible isn't it. Of course it's nothing in the grand scheme of things and I'll get over it but afterwards I was ready to rant about it, and I don't blame myself.

This is a small child you are claiming 'ruined' it, so you think its outrageous that someone may have given you a funny look, but it's okay to post about a child online and make them out to be rule breaking and purposefully ruin the session for others. Come back when your little one is walking and see how much fun you have containing them in a small circle.

@baldafrique

Why would he have been judging bum shuffling? I dont get it

It was clear he hadn't seen a baby doing it before, from the way he watched him, then mocked him. And then he thought it was silly / ridiculous / or whatever he thought, I don't care.