Another parent unkind to my baby

[HotelTowels]

I just want to rant about this if that's ok. I was at an outdoor performance for babies today (under 1's). We sat in bubbles on little circles on the grass and watched the show. Babies were encouraged to be themselves, make baby noises, clap, cry or whatever but parents were encouraged to try to keep babies inside the circles until the short show was over, after which there'd be a free play session where they could crawl about.

A mum and dad sat behind us and their little girl (who was wearing a tutu) was walking all around the set of the performance, going right up to the actors, picking up props etc and wandering through the audience. Her parents didn't try and get her, they just sat back looking really smug proud. (To be fair her walking was very advanced). All the other parents kept their babies inside their circles, so why couldn't they?

My little boy was, at first, glued to the performance, giggling and loving it, but as soon as he saw the little girl walking all over the stage he stopped focusing on the show and was itching to crawl over there as well. He's loves going up to other babies whenever he can. So we had to keep pulling him back with us which was frustrating as before she appeared he had been watching the show.

After the show, they let the babies explore freely. My son is 11 months and crawls and also bum shuffles everywhere at the moment. He started excitedly bum shuffling over to other babies. I thought bum shuffling was quite common for babies but he got lots of comments from other parents like "wow look at him go" and "that's a novel way to get around!" All said warmly and kindly.

Then my baby shuffled over to tutu baby's parents and I noticed the dad was watching my son with the most horrible expression on his face. He was shaking his head incredulously and sort of sniggering with a half disgusted look on his face, and started pointing out my son's bum shuffling to his wife/partner and making a sort of mocking face. He then caught me looking at him and quickly switched to a smile. All the while my gorgeous little boy was cheerfully heading over to them with a big smile in a lovely trusting way and was looking right at the dad!

I felt such a surge of protectiveness over my son I had to bite my lip! It really made me sad. Of course my son didn't notice or understand but I can't believe a grown man could behave like that towards a little baby!!

I'm still seething and it was hours ago!!! I guess the playground politics starts now!

post edited by MNHQ in order to remove disablist term

[RowanAlong]

Haha! Both mine bum-shuffled, one leg curled under, and never crawled. Went straight to walking after that! Ignore ignore!

[MuttiSauce]

He was being judgy and silly - just ignore.... But what is wrong with a tutu i don't quiet understand? find them so cute!

[MrsLCSofLichfield]

The guy sounds like a wanker. All the posters saying you are overreacting/being ridiculous would have noticed and minded if it had been their baby. Or perhaps they are all superior beings who are above such petty slights? Do your best to forget about it

[GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER]

I don’t blame you for being upset, OP - the least little slight to your beloved baby can affect you a lot worse than any slight to you personally.

Just don’t dwell on it - put it down to the bloke being an insensitive arse. At least your baby didn’t know or care - there may be worse later, when they’re a bit older and do know and care, even if it’s something trivial that’s upset them, and you so badly want to make it better for them, but maybe can’t. Except of course for cuddles and something specially nice for tea.🙂

[user1471538283]

I was a bum shuffler forever! I never crawled and then all of a sudden I walked! My DS never crawled. He rolled around and then one day started walking. As will your lovely son!

I was told that as long as babies develop along a line it doesn't matter when they get there as long as there is progress. Your son is bum shuffling and crawling!

[pictish]

@WorraLiberty

I honestly couldn't give a second thought to a facial expression made by another parent.

You may have misread it anyway but even if you didn't, so what? 🤷‍♀️

This, in a nutshell.

Be less precious is my advice.

[youllregretit]

@HotelTowels

Haha I knew someone would make a bitchy comment about the tutu! I judged them after what happened, when writing this post by adding the tutu reference. That's after the man was very consciously unkind about my baby (nothing absent-minded about it).

So you are saying you deliberately decided to be nasty about a baby to 'get back' at the parents?

You also have to realise that the extreme overprotectiveness most of us feel towards our babies is a bit mad, and your issue not theirs.

[GreyhoundG1rl]

So you are saying you deliberately decided to be nasty about a baby to 'get back' at the parents?
That does (incredibly) seem to be what she's saying. Wow.

[MareofBeasttown]

This is extremely PFB.

[MustardRose]

What really makes me angry is the attitude of some parents with small children who allow them to run around and mess about near (and sometimes even climb onto) the stage when there is any kind of performance going on.

It shows a total lack of consideration or respect towards the professionals doing their job, and a complete disregard for the rest of the audience, who are trying to watch the show. Unless it is a special performance put on specifically for those with additional needs, then people should keep their kids under control.

So I'm with you on this one. Total arseholes.

[MissingTheMoonlight]

You've given far too much thought to this OP.

My son was an early, confident walker and would have been incredibly frustrated if asked to stay in a circle in a baby class.
While I would have tried to keep him in the circle if asked, I certainly wouldn't judge another parent for not doing so. Often it's a choice between baby having a tantrum or letting baby have a harmless walk about :/

[Babyg1995]

Your over thinking this .

[Totallyrandomname]

Sound like you took a lot from one look. But the. Sometimes looks so convey a lot so maybe your perception was accurate.

Either way I think it’s a shrug it off sort of situation.

How come babies had to stay in their circles during the performance if they were moving about after anyway?

[Beannag]

Oh goodness, it's going to be a long 18 years or so for you. I'm more surprised and babies sat watching any of it, if the staff weren't happy with the girl then it's up to them to sort. I would bet the other parents don't care about your son bum shuffling.

[Kolo]

Reading your post made a similar memory of mine come to mind. It was a decade ago now, my son was 2, walking along a wall alongside the path. It was a low wall, and a young couple were sitting on it. I was watching, but a few metres away, and the place was busy (it was the park at the back of the London eye), and my son came up to the sitting couple. I, of course, was thinking what a bloody genius at balancing my child was, and how amazingly cute and gorgeous, but then this woman, not knowing I was watching, pulled this awful face at him, as if he was dirt, because he'd come up to them and paused, working out what to do. I swear I wanted to smack that bitch in the face for pulling a face at my child. I could smack her right now, the memory still makes me livid.

I didn't smack her, of course, I called my son, to let her know I'd seen her and she was embarrassed.

I know it's not exactly rational, and theoretically I know a large proportion of the population don't love my son. But feelings aren't always rational. I still want to smack her horrible face right off.

[GoldenTobes]

Yes unfortunately playground politics does start now. Some people can be competitive over the most silly things, a friend of mine used to call it the baby olympics! My son was a bottom shuffler, I thought it very cute.

[GreyhoundG1rl]

@Kolo

Reading your post made a similar memory of mine come to mind. It was a decade ago now, my son was 2, walking along a wall alongside the path. It was a low wall, and a young couple were sitting on it. I was watching, but a few metres away, and the place was busy (it was the park at the back of the London eye), and my son came up to the sitting couple. I, of course, was thinking what a bloody genius at balancing my child was, and how amazingly cute and gorgeous, but then this woman, not knowing I was watching, pulled this awful face at him, as if he was dirt, because he'd come up to them and paused, working out what to do. I swear I wanted to smack that bitch in the face for pulling a face at my child. I could smack her right now, the memory still makes me livid.

I didn't smack her, of course, I called my son, to let her know I'd seen her and she was embarrassed.

I know it's not exactly rational, and theoretically I know a large proportion of the population don't love my son. But feelings aren't always rational. I still want to smack her horrible face right off.

Did you expect the couple to stand up so your child could continue walking on the wall? 😂

[HotelTowels]

Thanks @NotSure94 !

[HotelTowels]

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

boo hoo!
your life must be so exhausting if you are this concerned about what faces other people make. who cares?

and why do you expect other people to adore your baby? it's not their job and they don't have to be kind to massage your ego.

and your baby doesn't have the cognitive skills to process any of it anyway so no harm done to him, whatsoever.

surely, you can't be so insecure and needy that you need validation from other people from other people.
get a grip.

Wow. I hope you feel good about yourself writing these unkind and spiteful words to someone on the internet.

[HotelTowels]

@AlternativePerspective

You are incredibly judgemental and the term “cretin” is incredibly offensive.

I have reported your post for the use of that word alone.

I already apologised when the pp said her son was a cretin and that this word was unacceptable. I clearly had no idea and clearly didn't intend it in anyway offensively.

[baldafrique]

Why would he have been judging bum shuffling? I dont get it

[HotelTowels]

• You're unpleasant aren't you.
  
  This was obviously not just a passing facial expression
  He was shaking his head incredulously and sort of sniggering with a half disgusted look on his face, and started pointing out my son's bum shuffling to his wife/partner and making a sort of mocking idiot face
  
  Anyone looking in the general direction would've noticed. He obviously also realised that what he was doing was unacceptable as
  
  He then caught me looking at him and quickly switched to a smile
  
  It's completely normal to be upset if you catch someone mocking your baby. Jesus, that doesn't need saying though does it. You already know that but thought you'd take an opportunity to be horrible to someone on the Internet.*
  
  Thank you @BlaBlaSmthSmth 💕
  
  There is so much nasty bullying on this thread.

[DarcyLewis]

What on earth is a "mocking idiot face" though??

[ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba]

@HoteLTowels

I re-iterate: boo hoo.
nobody has to be kind to you or your baby.
so stop sulking, drop the PFB attitude and grow up.

[Pinkandpink]

NeedNewKnees
I think your post is rather catty to be honest. The op only stated the parents never removed their child when they weren’t supposed to be in that area. She never mentioned anything bad about the tu tu. The parents were being prats for not following the rules, especially the dad for laughing at the ops son.