Mumsnetters who support trans women, please comment here

[LiberaceTrumpet]

Mumsnetters who are gender critical - please please do not comment here, this is not a discussion thread, I just want to see if there are other people here who share my views.

I believe feminism is nothing if not intersectional.

I feel really alone on mumsnet. Every time I come on and want to get advice about something or just waste five minutes there's always another trans thread. Maybe this website is not the place for me?

If we make lots of activity a normal part of everyday life instead of a competition, the positive health effects will be much greater.

Do you know what other countries think of the Brits. That we are lazy and have no ambition in life. If we take away competition then there will be no reason for our youngsters to push themselves to succeed. Find a niche work at it and master it. Be better than your competition.

We're in the middle of an obesity crisis. This is the first generation that is estimated to have a shorter lifespan than their parents and it's down to that.
Do how does getting rid of competitive sports help that? Yes, non competitive activities are important too for people who prefer them, but competition is a massively motivating factor in why people get active.
And if you actually bothered to watch the woman's world cup, you'd see the atmosphere is very different and much less hostile from the men's. This was highlighted when England played the one team that played in that way (Cameroon).

What a selfish comment to make. Sport is often the one thing people thrive at and you want to take that away?

UNBELIEVABLE.

@AlfonsoTheMango

I once read a fascinating novel called "Dictionary of the Khazars", of which there were male and female versions. The only difference was a single paragraph.

A bit like real life

Yes, my partner was saying only the other day, periods, pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, women's health issues, sexism, rape, the pay gap, FGM, the glass ceiling, harassment, domestic violence, the menopause, the care burden - why, it's all nothing but a minor paragraph of difference between us, my dear!

Surely it is far more toxic and "win at any cost" to compete in the female classification with the advantages of a male body than for example Ali Brownlee carrying his brother to the finish line or the Danish players at the weekend blocking the fight for their team mates life from the view of the camera or Derek Redmond limping over the finish line in Barcelona in '92 with his dad's support or the marathon runner that allowed the chap that had taken the wrong route to over take him. Elite sport can be brutal but it can also bring out the very best in people and teach great lessons.

@ArabellaScott

I hope you read my post in the spirit it was meant.

I don't know, Alfonso, I sometimes find it quite hard to tell when people are being deadly earnest these days! Hoping you were being sarcastic, that would be a relief.

Yes, my partner was saying only the other day, periods, pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, women's health issues, sexism, rape, the pay gap, FGM, the glass ceiling, harassment, domestic violence, the menopause, the care burden

The whole argument of Trans Women are women ends there doesn't it. There has to be acceptance that they are trans women only. I am 10 years from the menopause trans women will never experience that part of it. Bluelipstick has stated that she is transgendered and she knows who she is. When did the argument start with TWAW?

I'd agree with Alfonso in the fact that DH and I don't live gendered lives. We both care for ds, clean, take the rubbish out, empty the dishwasher, watch the same shows, enjoy a beer etc, go to work. This is why I don't buy, living as a woman, because it basically equates to wearing a costume that a lot of women don't wear (how many women wear a uniform of jeans and t shirt for most of the year, no make up and only crack out a dress in the summer and make up on a rare night out?)
It's just that there's an invisible soundtrack to my day, regulated by periods, everyday sexism etc.
But women on the whole just get on with it.
Which is why it seems our differences can be reduced to a paragraph. We don't make a fuss.

The Gender Recognition Act never had anything to do with public bathrooms, women’s refuges or changing rooms, however. Trans people can access those spaces—with certain exclusions—under the Equality Act 2010. If the government were to bar trans people from those spaces, they would be rolling back rights we already possess.

That is from the times so if a trans woman want to use the toilet or changing facilities you cant turn them away. It would be discrimination.

That is from the times so if a trans woman want to use the toilet or changing facilities you cant turn them away. It would be discrimination.

And some discrimination is legal, which is why there are exemptions to both the GRA and EA. Female only spaces are provided for. So yes, you can use the single sex exemption to exclude males from women's spaces in certain circumstances, but they may try to challenge it legally. This issue has not been fully tested in court.

That is from the times so if a trans woman want to use the toilet or changing facilities you cant turn them away. It would be discrimination. There are exemptions where a female only space is proportionate and necessary. A supplier can choose to run a female only refuge, for example.

That is from the times

Written by a trans activist. Other viewpoints on the law around this have also been published in The Times. It's just an opinion.

And it would be too much to hope for them to have some empathy for vulnerable female users and so not demand that 'right'.
Obviously some do respect women's privacy and dignity and I admire their selflessness.

@ArabellaScott

I don't know, Alfonso, I sometimes find it quite hard to tell when people are being deadly earnest these days! Hoping you were being sarcastic, that would be a relief.

My tongue was very firmly in my cheek as I am not a sarcastic person.

It's just that there's an invisible soundtrack to my day, regulated by periods, everyday sexism etc.
But women on the whole just get on with it.
Which is why it seems our differences can be reduced to a paragraph. We don't make a fuss.

@MouseyTheVampireSlayer - what a great way of putting it.

@CardinalLolzy

*It's just that there's an invisible soundtrack to my day, regulated by periods, everyday sexism etc. But women on the whole just get on with it. Which is why it seems our differences can be reduced to a paragraph. We don't make a fuss.*

@MouseyTheVampireSlayer - what a great way of putting it.

I thought that too. It’s only since perimenopause has hit that I’ve realised just how much that regular rhythm of life has been a part of things every day for 35 years!! It’s not just that one week, but the way that week interacts with all the others. The fear of pregnancy and the awareness of it being a good/bad time for sex, the planning of holidays etc and knowing that every single one would be tainted by bad luck when it inevitably falls that week! It’s was a relentless feature even if not at the forefront of my mind. So freeing when it just bloody stops!!

@NeedNewKnees

Are you really actually saying that we should tell women who are born into cultures with fgm that they should just lump it because they can’t change it?

Wouldyou have told slaves to accept who they are because they would be happier that way?

I am flabbergasted. Of course we can’t change everything on day 1, but the more we encourage everyone to be who and what they want, the greater the chances of the world getting there eventually. And that’s worth a lot to me.

I’m an older woman too, and I could decide that that’s what I am and too bad, and let my body go decrepit, or I can work hard to exercise and be healthy and fight off the ravages of time on my body, which I do and as a result am much more capable at my age than the previous generation of women in my family were. Progress is possible but it doesn’t happen if we all just learn to ‘accept our lot’.

It's just that there's an invisible soundtrack to my day, regulated by periods, everyday sexism etc.

Genuinely curious, are periods something that you even notice, unless you have a health problem?

I can’t say my periods have ever regulated anything at all. I generally forget I’m having them, apart from once or twice a day when I go to the loo and decide to change my pad.

MouseyTheVampireSlayer

Exactly 👏👏👏

I’ll also add that the only people who get excited about WANTING to wear sanpro have obviously not experienced the NEED to wear sanpro - or the symptoms

Catherine, periods massively affected me just off the top of my head:
When teaching- I need to dash put straight away at break to get a toilet or arrange with a ta to cover in an emergency.
When diving- I've been on all day dives where because the instructors were of course, male, they didn't do loo breaks with men peeing off the back of the boat. I've then endured snide comments about timing whilst on my period when I've insisted we need to stop.
Ditto for on safari. At one point I accidentally attracted a big cat to our jeep because I ahem, changed, behind the jeep.
In my sport where a period makes my skin feel extra sensitive and using metal poles (gymnastics aerial sports) makes me tender and focus on less complicated moves. Obviously it affects my performance.
Then there's ensuring that you have supplies, period pants washed etc.
That's before I even get to the fact I have awful cystitis like pains on my period. Possibly endemetriotis, no one has bothered to investigate properly. But they have been so bad I've had to sit in the shower crying instead of sleeping at times.

I also know periods affect different sports in different ways. I just know how it affects my own sport, but I'm sure there are many ways I haven't considered.
Catherine it sounds like you aren't particularly active yourself and so assume other women aren't/don't need to as an overextension.

TMI alert: I always get diarrhea when I have a period. So I spend the days scuttling from toilet to toilet. Not to mention hideous cramps on day one, like someone is trying to dig their way out. Oh, and the temporary weight gain that means I have to wear looser trousers.

I'm sorry you feel alone.

You know who also feels alone? The growing numbers of detrans men and women who have been shunned and excluded from the trans community the moment they express hesitancy about the changes they have experienced.

Where's their support?

@Wrongsideofhistorymyarse

TMI alert: I always get diarrhea when I have a period. So I spend the days scuttling from toilet to toilet. Not to mention hideous cramps on day one, like someone is trying to dig their way out. Oh, and the temporary weight gain that means I have to wear looser trousers.

These sort of things started to hit me in my thirties. In my early twenties periods were much more of a non event and just dictated whether I was going to have sex or not.

@MondayYogurt

I'm sorry you feel alone.

You know who also feels alone? The growing numbers of detrans men and women who have been shunned and excluded from the trans community the moment they express hesitancy about the changes they have experienced.

Where's their support?

I would guess that "trans widows" also feel alone.