My childhood bully is a professional counsellor!!

[Missusblusky1]

Kind of lighthearted I guess, but I’ve just discovered through the world of Facebook that my secondary school bully who threatened to kill me for no reason is now an established counsellor / psychotherapist…. Probably the last person I would have thought who would ever help anybody!

I remember going on a trip abroad with our school and she threatened to kill me whilst out there, the teachers didn’t take it seriously and it was a horrendous experience! She was a bitchy gossip who constantly belittled others for no reason other than for entertainment. And now I see she does all sort of work for charity too. Probably the most vile human being I’ve ever met. Hope no one goes to her for help!!!!

My primary school bully joined the army and was kicked out, then ended up in and out of prison. He hasn't changed, nasty piece of work at 10, nasty piece of work at 43.

@Leafy12

Sorry but that story reads as passive aggressive to me. Why couldn't you just directly tell your tutors you didn't fancy wine and cheese and would they like to join you in town? Isn't a lot of therapy based in open assertive communication, not passive indirect pisstake?

Is that all you took from my post? . Maybe. There was more than me there, it was a group decision. I was making a bigger point. Choose to focus on that part if you will, so meh.

An old boss of mine who was fired for relentlessly bullying female employees is now a counsellor and holistic therapist. See his vids on LinkedIn from time to time and it makes me sick to hear him talk about kindness and compassion. Perhaps he saw the error of his ways but still, hard not to be cynical.

I saw a girl at a school reunion who had bullied me 25 years ago, including asking older friends to have me beaten up. She had obviously had a difficult time since then- single mum, low paid work - child with severe SEN - I'm sorry to say that I didn't feel much empathy for her, and now feel slightly bad about that.

One of the bullies from my school days went into nursing. She was caught abusing elderly patients. I would say that she was the mildest in terms of physical bullying at school. She didn't go to prison and used her miscarriage to excuse her actions. I didn't expect it of her and thought she was more likely to have a good future due to doing relatively well at school. People still think well of her and excuse her past mistakes due to her miscarriage. My gut feeling is she got off too lightly. She mostly escaped repercussions when she was at school too.

The worst bully used to really beat people up - thankfully I wasn't her main target. She went to prison within a few years of leaving school.

The other bully continues to make her staff miserable AFAIK. She bullied me in the last few years before I left school and in my second job. Her job is indirectly involved in helping others so could be seen as making up for past mistakes.

These three people bullied me relentlessly on and off for several years. None of them seem to have changed much as adults.

Write to her and tell her joq awful she was not only to you but also to your friend. If she's changed she will get in touch and apologise BUT do you want her too!!!!????

:39HeyGirlHeyBoy

That's dreadful Raffles, a life coach is really not the same thing tho.

True. It's not the same. But her whole "let me make you a better person" attitude is just bizarre

There's a woman I know through the local playgroups who is incredibly draining and it makes me feel anxious to be around her. No one else I know makes me feel like this. She is also a psychotherapist and counsellor, it honestly beggars belief... is there no screening for people with narcissistic personalities?

Name and shame 😊

Maybe you should book an appointment to talk about your childhood bullying trauma?

Our secondary school bully became a therapist and runs a therapy centre. Trainees are put under loads of pressure and basically exploited for money.

The least loveable people, need the most love.

Book a session and tell her your life’s never been the same as you can’t recover and then report her for poor professional treatment 🤷‍♀️

I have met far too many nasty bullying narcissistic counsellors and therapists - I think they are drawn to this occupation for some mad reason - yuck - maybe you should remind her of her murky past

The vile woman who bullied me 8n a counselling organisation admitted to me in an unguarded moment that she had been a violent class bully - people don't really change I fear

I'm a counsellor and psychotherapist and I used to be a dickhead. I was a dick head because I had no self worth, alcoholic parents and was suffering from childhood emotional neglect. It was through going to counselling after I fucked up my first marriage that I realised that I was ruining my own life with pushing my issues outwards, and ultimately once I had dealt with my issues realised that I wanted to help others do the same so retrained. You will often find that counsellor's find the profession after having a lot of counselling themselves as it makes them more empathetic to others issues. Do you think it could be something similar for her?

Why would a bully want to change?

Would they be able to change easily or need to put a lot of effort in?

Doesn’t surprise me at all, I have seen so many times that the school bullies end up in professions like this, mainly nursing & being police officers.

Just from doing an access to Nursing course I can believe it, really bitchy the majority of them.

She needs to be named and shamed on her facebook.

@MoreAloneTime

I'm not convinced people really change, I think many will just find more socially acceptable ways of indulging their vicious side.

I don’t think you’re right. My childhood neighbour next door made my life hell - a total bitch and very powerful character. They moved when I was 14 and I met her years later in a maternity ward! She was now a teacher and both apologised and opened up to me that she had a very unhappy childhood, she was very overweight and bullied to scare people from bullying or teasing her. She said her father was abusive and her mother compensated with food. She had a really deep insight into the angry/protective stance she took and I think she really meant it, had reflected, had counselling and had changed.

@Gilead

You would be surprised at how many manipulative, narcissistic bullies are therapists.

Absolutely this....there is a man I know who basically broke my amazing beautiful and highly intelligent friend.....and all the time he was still counselling people. I am still on the fence as to whether to report him or not x

You would be surprised at how many manipulative, narcissistic bullies are therapists
ostensibly but it stands to reason that these types will be attracted to areas where they can express their 'superpowers'
power corrupts and the corrupt seek power

Perhaps she was going through a lot during her school years and didn’t have anyone to help her……so now she’s grown up and gone into a role where she can help others.

She needs to be named and shamed on her facebook.

Please don't do this..

I was an absolute pain in the arse in my early teens.. but I honestly think I was insecure and in with a rough crowd. I am nothing like that now in my 30’s. Surely the majority of us have changed?! I find it crazy that people think they haven’t changed..