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Original poster

Sister in law brought a cake for DH but not me

174 replies

Ilovelove · 12/06/2021 06:43

Sister in law came over.
I was in the shed doing stuff.
Walked into the kitchen and her and DH were scoffing cake. Both look guilty and body language was very ‘together’.

They were sort of guarding the cake, I was not offered any, it was a bit awkward and so I walked off to do job.

Turns out she made the cake for him and wanted to see him eat a slice and see his face.

I think this weird and and exclusionary and you don’t come around to a family home with a cake for one person or if you do it still gets offered to be shared.

DH says she just wanted to do a nice thing for him. (Not birthday or a reason)

I think both of them were weird and exclusionary.

OP posts:
Scarby9 · 12/06/2021 06:47

'Ooo, cake! You're a star, SIL - thank you so much. What did we do to deserve this? Pass me that knife'.
Why would you feel awkward and leave the room?

Eviebeans · 12/06/2021 06:49

Is this his sister?

SheepyLamb2 · 12/06/2021 06:50

Back story of your relationship with SIL?? This sounds odd

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Suzi888 · 12/06/2021 06:51

It shows an extreme lack of manners and if she said watch him eat it then yes, it’s a bit weird IMO. Is it his sister?

Bloomingpeony · 12/06/2021 06:55

Yeah that’s a dick move by your SIL, but fundamentally you have a DH problem. He should have offered/saved/shared even if she didn’t.

prettyvisitor · 12/06/2021 06:55

Nobody would get away with guarding cake if I was around...I'd be straight in there getting a plate out of the cupboard.

SnowyPetals · 12/06/2021 06:55

Why would you wait to be offered in your own home? As PP said, it's "Ooh that looks amazing! Pass me a plate"

Eviebeans · 12/06/2021 06:57

Had you been expecting her to come over or was it a random visit? Do you usually get on well?

RainbowCrayons · 12/06/2021 06:57

I agree, if this is his brother's (or sister's) wife then it's weird, if it's his sister then it's weird but in a whole different way.

Bluntness100 · 12/06/2021 06:58

Is she his sister?

Original poster
Ilovelove · 12/06/2021 06:58

Hmmm well there is form for excluding me.most of the time I just ignore her ‘silly’ comments eg she is more of an aunty to some of our nieces and nephews than me because they are her brothers children.

She is the photographer of the family and I am never in any photos unless they are deeply unflattering!

I definitely am over sensitive about it!

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilovelove · 12/06/2021 06:59

She is his sister not mine!

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 12/06/2021 07:01

Definitely sounds like she doesn’t like you much but your dh should have said he would share with you not gone along with her

Original poster
Ilovelove · 12/06/2021 07:01

I also did think about just ignoring vibe and going straight for the cake any way but I didn’t want any.

I wanted to be invited but not involved. So maybe I am being a bit unreasonable there.

OP posts:
BananaSpanner · 12/06/2021 07:02

But presumably she isn’t taking the leftover cake away with her so she would assume you would eat some if you wanted anyway? Once she’s given the cake to your husband, it’s for him to offer you some and if you need to wait for your husband to offer you some cake that is sitting in your own kitchen then you have bigger problems than your sister in law.

TangoWhiskeyAlphaTango · 12/06/2021 07:02

Give over.

Original poster
Ilovelove · 12/06/2021 07:02

I think that’s it - she doesn’t like me and that just reconfirmed it!!

Also I do think my husband was a dick and he has apologised to us morning.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilovelove · 12/06/2021 07:03

To me not us

OP posts:
SleepyPartyTime · 12/06/2021 07:04

I think it's really hard to judge OP because we'd need to see the body language. There's nothing wrong with her making a cake for her brother and bringing it round. You could have presumably cut yourself a slice too. That said perhaps their body language gave the impression you weren't welcome to join in which would have been very rude of course.

isthismylifenow · 12/06/2021 07:05

Maybe your dh and his sister have a long standing joke about a cake. It sounds something silly to be this upset about.

romdowa · 12/06/2021 07:07

I'd have purposely said it that I'll take a slice of that for after dinner later and then tell her she was very good. You need to kill these people with kindness.

Original poster
Ilovelove · 12/06/2021 07:09

Thanks everyone - has been useful to hear all your comments!! I am going off now to eat some banana bread made by sister in law.

So the moral of this story is ‘Let them eat cake and let me eat it the next morning for breakfast’ - hope I don’t choke!!

OP posts:
MaybeCrazy2 · 12/06/2021 07:10

I wouldn’t have someone in my house who deliberately kept trying to piss me off! It’s my home! I would tell him she isn’t welcome anymore until she learns some manners, if he wants to see her, go to her house.

rattlemehearties · 12/06/2021 07:13

Don't get this. Why can't your DH have a close relationship with his own sister? And she clearly brought enough cake to share as you are about to eat some.

happinessischocolate · 12/06/2021 07:16

I'd be down the cake shop today buying the nicest cake and then eating it in front of DH and not sharing.

Does she treat the mother of the nieces and nephews the same way as she treats you or is that her sisters kids?

You can't fight it when people behave like this your SIL she's made it clear this is how your going to be treated and you just need to have a standard response ready for her behaviour. Laugh, roll your eyes and walk off.