Sister in law brought a cake for DH but not me

[Ilovelove]

Sister in law came over.
I was in the shed doing stuff.
Walked into the kitchen and her and DH were scoffing cake. Both look guilty and body language was very ‘together’.

They were sort of guarding the cake, I was not offered any, it was a bit awkward and so I walked off to do job.

Turns out she made the cake for him and wanted to see him eat a slice and see his face.

I think this weird and and exclusionary and you don’t come around to a family home with a cake for one person or if you do it still gets offered to be shared.

DH says she just wanted to do a nice thing for him. (Not birthday or a reason)

I think both of them were weird and exclusionary.

@WokeFest

I too have a very annoying SIL that has been a pain in the arse for 28 years. She is a 50-year old spoilt brat who is the most self-centered and self-indulged person I have ever met. It is beyond belief. I can only describe our relationship as one where she has had to go to great lengths to put me in my place, at the bottom of the pile so as not to threaten her place in the family. It's like being in a pack of wild animals.

As a result, I have not been allowed to have a relationship with my MIL, as she is not even allowed to go for a coffee with me without upsetting SIL.

That is their loss though. DH and I have a great life and lovely DG which they rarely get to see because of their treatment of me. I go to great lengths to make sure we are unavailable and busy when I know they will be looking to hook up e.g. bank holidays, Easter, summer holidays, etc. MIL has mellowed a lot and told me she has made mistakes with me, but it is too late. She is only saying this as ours are the only DGC and she wants to be included in the lovely things we do. Now I only feel indifference towards them and I don't care about their feelings. They never cared about mine.

I can really relate to this and I’m only in my 17th year of it. This whole lockdown has been bliss. I remember my SIL bought aftershave for my DH and said that she hoped I liked it too I thought that was a bit odd to be honest and a personal thing to buy your brother when he already has a wife.

They are Both being weird - why doesn't he stick up for you? I would have this put with them - she is trying to cause trouble between you a lot which is unacceptable and he is enabling her - I would have a massive serious talk with him and stand your ground

Are they like the brother and sister from Friends? You know the guy that Rachael dated but he shared a bath with his sister 😂😂😂 just asking.

@linsey2581

This thought will stay with me for a long time 🤣🤣

I was about to say it was rude and unkind but now I see from your post that you had some the next morning so I think you over-reacted.

I didn’t want any.

You’re upset they didn’t offer you any cake you didn’t want any of?

My SIL would pull similar stunts back in the day. DH would never stick up for me. I was supposed to suck it up and of course I wasn't prepared to do this. So I hardly ever see her and talk to her now. DH speaks to her on the phone occasionally. I think since FIL in law passed away even DH has taken a step back as his patience had finally worn thin with all the grief she gave him when trying to make care arrangements for sick FIL and then having to deal with the inheritance when he passed away. He got an anonymous text telling him he should give FIL's whole house to SIL as he was living in a palace already. We live in a small three bed terrace. DH to this day insists that the text was sent by SIL estranged partner...even though he'd have no motive to send it. Oh yes and SIL insisted on playing 'another one bites the dust' at FILs funeral. He had expressed no such wish and didn't particularly like Queen. I am so glad I wasn't there as I couldn't get childcare for DD. I could not have borne it - even though I didn't like FIL but no one deserves this at their funeral. So at least I know that she didn't only have it in it for me

@Diva66 sorry about that 😂 But that’s the first thing I thought off 😂

Why on earth would this be an issue. ? very odd !

Honestly, the best thing you can do is just treat her with indifference if she bugs you so much. Be too busy with your own hobbies, friends, and family to even care what she is doing. Let her play her games and pretend you don't notice, can't be arsed, and have too much of a life to bother with her stupid games.

I remember I was in my kitchen once and my SIL and MIL were talking to each other about something which if overheard was meant to impress the other person. It was about something expensive they were getting, but they were talking to each other. I remember standing there and thinking that this was 3rd hand for my benefit, so I left the room to go do something else. I wasn't part of the convo IYSWIM so they couldn't think me rude. I just left and they immediately stopped talking and when I went back they were pissed off. It was so funny.

Seriously, the best revenge is to live well, etc. Fake it till you make it that when you see her it is no more important to you than when Derek from down the road delivers your local paper.

My SIL has caused me so much trouble over the years and still does, and I have no time for her. TBH she is really flattering herself as I have the greatest set of friends who are educated, talented, gorgeous, great fun, talented, and are lovely, supportive people whereas my SIL models herself on Hyacinth Bouquet. She is really flattering herself that she doesn't want a relationship with me. In fact, I'd be worried if she did like me.

I think you are a bit out of order. Do you have siblings? Me and my sisters sometimes go to each others house with the objective of seeing each other only. I love my BIL as a brother but sometimes I want only my sister and as they leave together sometimes he will be left out but he doesn't mind. I think the issue is not the cake. Is their closeness and complicity that is annoying you.

Why do you even have anything to do with her if she does all these nasty things to you?

@Reallyreallyborednow

Turns out she made the cake for him and wanted to see him eat a slice and see his face

No one else think this is wierd? Making a cake so you can watch someone eat it?

If I make a cake a “that was lovely, thanks”, is appreciation enough. I don’t need to sit and gaze at them while they eat it so I can witness exactly how much they’ve enjoyed it….

It is very weird.

Seems like this is a marijuana cake
I wouldn’t eat
It anyway

And I couldn’t care less

Why did you even bother ?
Seems a bit childish of you getting annoyed by this
Afff

@iwannafurloughmydp almost a haiku, keep trying!

[quote thisplaceisweird]@iwannafurloughmydp almost a haiku, keep trying![/quote]
Is it ?
If you say so …

My partner and his sister re connected after not seeing each other for many years, she showed up one day at our house with a big chocolate fudge cake (his favourite from when he was a kid) she made a point that cake was his( in a polite way) and she also made me some bakewell flapjacks , which was really nice of her , when she left my dp said to me to eat as much as that cake as I want so we just shared both and he let her know we enjoyed them

I can understand your situation you shouldnt have to feel uncomfortable in your own house because that sounds abit awkward your dh sister obviously is ignorant, dont let her bother you, I'm not saying she dosnt like u but if she dosnt then that's her problem just carry on being you and polite but next time she comes round I'd say that cake was nice but could of done with something extra or say it had to much of a certain ingredient in it

I can't imagine for a minute why on Earth anyone wouldn't just cut themselves a slice.

Why are you still with a man who let his family treat you so appallingly, and Him by default treat you so appallingly.

Her wanting to see his face suggests that it was either a prank cake or maybe there was weed in it😂

@Ilovelove

She is his sister not mine!

Sil can mean your husband's sister or the wife of your husband's brother. Nobody thought you meant your sister.

Somethings going on. Sounds like they're having sex.

Okay I take my comment back after you've said it's his sister. Still eww behaviour. Sounds a bit too intimate especially if the wife's there. Do they talk about you behind your back?

My SIL is like this, I think she is a complete psycho. Mine even tried talking my DH out of marrying me on the morning of our wedding. When I found out and questioned her she responded with “It’s wasn’t personal”. Umm... yes it was!
Before I came along they lived together and her daughter (no present father) called my DH “Deedee”. Which sounds creepingly like “Daddy”. They were living like a couple just sleeping in separate rooms. It was very wierd.
Anyway I think she just hates me because she sees me as some wierd competition to her. They have a very creepy wierd relationship. I ended finding a reason to move very far from her and now only have to deal with her once a year now. She still tries to talk DH into leaving me even though DH keeps telling her he is happily married.