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Original poster

Sister in law brought a cake for DH but not me

174 replies

Ilovelove · 12/06/2021 06:43

Sister in law came over.
I was in the shed doing stuff.
Walked into the kitchen and her and DH were scoffing cake. Both look guilty and body language was very ‘together’.

They were sort of guarding the cake, I was not offered any, it was a bit awkward and so I walked off to do job.

Turns out she made the cake for him and wanted to see him eat a slice and see his face.

I think this weird and and exclusionary and you don’t come around to a family home with a cake for one person or if you do it still gets offered to be shared.

DH says she just wanted to do a nice thing for him. (Not birthday or a reason)

I think both of them were weird and exclusionary.

OP posts:
LateAtTate · 12/06/2021 09:47

Are you sure it wasn’t a prank?
Other as @DinosaurDiana said it sound sexual. Ewww

Twickytwo · 12/06/2021 09:47

@SempreSuiGeneris
Brilliant! 😂

Brefugee · 12/06/2021 09:48

sounds like SIL doesn't like you.

I'd eat a bit and say something like "well, it's ok if you like that kind of thing. I prefer mine a bit more dry/moist/whatever" and leave it at that (no matter what you actually think of it)

And yes. Drive home your point to DH by eating something totally delicious and not sharing it.

Interested in this thread?

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Families General food
TillyTottenham · 12/06/2021 09:49

Are you on a diet perhaps OP? Perhaps they looked guilty because they didn't want to tempt you with the cake.

WimpoleHat · 12/06/2021 09:50

@DinosaurDiana

Is anyone else thinking this sounds, in some small way, sexual ?
No! I really don’t. It’s his sister! It sounds more like an in-joke to me, which might not have borne explanation to someone else. Something from childhood, maybe? They were still rude not to offer the OP a slice, though.
ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 12/06/2021 09:53

guarding the cake

🤣🤣🤣

WimpoleHat · 12/06/2021 09:54

@WokeFest That’s so sad - but you do reap what you sow. I feel a bit like that about my ILs; they’re a bit sad now that my DDs basically have no relationship with them, but they never made any effort with them when they were small. So I stopped and it all stopped. Like your situation- their loss….

Twickytwo · 12/06/2021 10:00

So all those posters who are horrified, should I be telling my son to seek counselling every time his wife's sister brings a croissant for her and her sister to share over their coffee and doesn't offer any to him? Disclosure, he would never mind anything that gave such innocent pleasure to his wife.

viques · 12/06/2021 10:00

I thought she had made him some glorious many layered ganache topped wonder. But it was banana bread.

To be frank I would be asking him what he had done to piss his sister off for bringing round such a pathetic tribute.

Banana bread ffs, it’s what you make if there are a couple of going over bananas in the bowl and a space in the oven because you are cooking something else. It is not a considered gift .

PurpleRainDancer · 12/06/2021 10:03

@MaudebeGonne

Is it a hash cake?
Grin
Reallyreallyborednow · 12/06/2021 10:05

So all those posters who are horrified, should I be telling my son to seek counselling every time his wife's sister brings a croissant for her and her sister to share over their coffee and doesn't offer any to him?

Does she bring it over so she can see her eat it and watch her face? If so, yes.

Croissants are different though, it’s one each. If I take a cake round I’ll say to everyone oh I brought cake, help yourself, there’s plenty.

thisplaceisweird · 12/06/2021 10:07

I don't have a brother but I would definitely buy cake just for my sister, go there and share it with her without bothering to ask her husband if he wanted any. I like him but it would be 'our thing' or something I did just for her. Not something to get cross over

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 12/06/2021 10:10

Turns out she made the cake for him and wanted to see him eat a slice and see his face.

Creepy!

Loubilou09 · 12/06/2021 10:11

@DinosaurDiana

Is anyone else thinking this sounds, in some small way, sexual ?
Oh dear god.....I have seen and heard a lot of shit on MN but this really takes the banana bread...
catfunk · 12/06/2021 10:21

Tbf your reaction was weirder then their behaviour I think. Surely you could have just cut yourself a small slice/ asked for a try? They're hardly going to say no are they?

Shewholovedthethebanhills · 12/06/2021 10:24

My SIL couldn't stand the fact my brother had a close relationship with his sisters. She's incredibly insecure and possessive. As a result it was impossible to have any normal interaction with her as she always made things weird and 'about her'. We disliked her in the end because she was obnoxious to us (but always thought herself the victim). She told packs of lies that DB believed and they went NC with us all. I feel sorry for them both.

Jellybabiesforbreakfast · 12/06/2021 10:27

That's bizarre.

If I were you, next time she plans to come round, I would get myself a very nice cake (something truly special!) and eat it in front of them both. If they ask for a slice, I would say "No, this is mine, I'm saving the rest for later". But I'm very, very petty Grin.

Sonofabiscuit · 12/06/2021 10:28

It does happen in some families .
My mil does the same ,will bake a cake and say just for my DP
When we have been to mil for a meal ,she used to send my DP home with cake or leftovers just for him and stress it was for him,
Dp did point it out was rude of her as we live together.

Jellybabiesforbreakfast · 12/06/2021 10:29

@Sonofabiscuit. I realise that most people are much more capable of taking the moral high ground than me, but aren't you ever tempted to do the same?

ZeroFuchsGiven · 12/06/2021 10:30

Meh, it had weed in and they didn't want to share.

Ozanj · 12/06/2021 10:30

Lol this was my sil and I last week. Have to guard cake from my brother because otherwise he scoffs it all. Could it be a similar reasom?

RealhousewifeofStoke · 12/06/2021 10:33

She’s an incestuous drug dealer natch.

And of COURSE banana bread is cake.

RadandMad · 12/06/2021 10:36

@MaybeCrazy2

I wouldn’t have someone in my house who deliberately kept trying to piss me off! It’s my home! I would tell him she isn’t welcome anymore until she learns some manners, if he wants to see her, go to her house.
Could not agree more.
frazzledasarock · 12/06/2021 10:36

I can’t imagine my husband quietly scoffing cake.

The entire scenario is so weird. DH would give me a shout and ask if I wanted a cuppa and a slice of cake.

But then my SIL wouldn’t come round with cake just to see her brothers face as he tried it! That’s so WTF Confused

If my DH had a regular thing where his sister came round with croissants for a chat and coffee I’d not find it odd at all.

But I can’t imagine this scenario where DH and his sister would be quietly eating cake and looking guilty if I walked in.

But we are all adults and largely love and care about eachother.

Auntienumber8 · 12/06/2021 10:39

I imagine there have been many small incidences over the years.

They are small micro aggressions that as isolated things mean nothing but so many over many years really show they don’t like you. It’s very hard to explain as it make you the person on the receiving end seem odd.

If someone is blatantly horrible to you then it’s obvious and more easily dealt with. I believe you op because I have had two decades of weird behaviour from my SIL.

A perfect example goes back many years. I was heavily PG and it was at Christmas. I had received a board game as a gift. I asked if we could play it. SIL was very much no and made out board games were not her thing and didn’t like them. I was tired so went to bed about midnight. As I lay there trying to fall asleep I hear SIL downstairs saying lets play that board game, which they then did and she opened it. I was PG and hormonal so just cried myself to sleep.