How do I respond to/deal with this? CF.

[PutTheCakeDOWN]

Not sure where to start really!
I was going to try and be vague and not outing but I won’t be able to explain it properly. Plus I suppose if the person sees this then problem solved maybe!?

I live in an area which is very popular for winter holidays. It’s the Cairngorms.

I have three small children, a demanding job and a husband who works offshore. Our time together when he’s home is precious.

I have a slight acquaintance/friend who I know via another friend.

2.5 years ago we were introduced to this friend.
2 years ago she invited herself to stay with us in her campervan with her family - 2 teenagers and twin babies. It was 2 weeks after Christmas, they ‘love to ski and sledge’ and I’m too nice and a people pleaser.
It was one of the worst weeks ever. They completely latched onto us, migrated into the house because it was ‘too cold’ in the van (no shit!), left mess everywhere, argued constantly, kept palming the kids off onto our nanny (who is like one of the family and who is vital because of DH being offshore) and were generally just a complete nightmare. It was so stressful.

The last few weeks I’ve had hints about them coming back this Christmas. DH has 4 weeks home and I have 3 weeks off - Christmas and the two after. This time is important to us!

She has asked when we’re free. I said we’re busy. She said ‘surely not for the whole month!?’ I’ve politely said that I can’t commit to them coming as we haven’t made plans yet but don’t want to be tied down.
She said that’s fine as we won’t even know she’s there.
She said what about a weekend? I said no sorry I can’t say that far ahead.
I said I was a bit stressed and can’t start making plans now.
She said she will just keep the whole month free as they are determined to come and have been looking forward to it since last time, so when we’re not busy just to tell her and they will set off straight away.

I don’t know how to deal with this. I am stressed and exhausted with a hundred other things.

She seems nice and I would hope she just doesn’t realise how she’s behaving but I just don’t understand how/why people carry on like this??
I wouldn’t dream of inviting myself plus 4 kids to someone’s house!

Obviously I can’t just say ‘fuck off’ as that doesn’t work in real life.

Please help!

'@59Peridot1

@Hugmemum

What does CF mean?? Cunty Folk?

Cheeky Fucker'

🤣🤣🤣🤣😅 I love it...will never read CF the same way again...!

[quote SionnachGlic]'@59Peridot1

@Hugmemum

What does CF mean?? Cunty Folk?

Cheeky Fucker'

🤣🤣🤣🤣😅 I love it...will never read CF the same way again...![/quote]
I thought it meant 'cunt face' until about a month ago 😂

@Zzelda

If she stays quiet you may need to contact her again to confirm there is no way she can come. Otherwise there's a danger she'll turn up and claim she didn't get your message.

No. Don't do this. It just creates drama. Before your last post you were at a point where she was waiting on you for a date when it would be convenient. There is no route from that to her just turning up that wouldn't still exist if you contacted her again.

You've already been clear. Just let it die. You've done a great job on this. Hope you have a great winter.

You have'nt heard from her because you are of no further use to her!

You have been (hopefully) strong and direct and left no wiggle room. She can't get round you, so will have dropped you. She's now looking for someone else she can descend upon.

So rude, but then she started rude, and carried on rude, and ended rude.

I’d be grateful she’s not replying. I would bloke now too. Do not message her again, she’ll think you’re feeling quilty or whatever since you’re still thinking about it. ,

I think CF has dropped you like a hot potatoe OP because it isn't working out for her but if she does reply promise to tell. 😂

@sunglassesonthetable

I think CF has dropped you like a hot potatoe OP because it isn't working out for her but if she does reply promise to tell. 😂

I agree. No response from CF because she sees she won't get what she wants so what's the point of maintaining the semblance of a 'friendship'?

IIRC CF has some 'connection' with OP's work. I do predict that OP may hear through the office grapevine how unreasonable and rude she was in refusing such a reasonable request.

Any news op?