DS (17) has been unloading the dishwasher for nearly an hour

[reallyneedmoresleep]

...and I think I'm about to explode. He was supposed to do it yesterday, but didn't. The rest of the family is playing hardball and we've let all the dirty dishes build up rather than do his chore (singular!!!) for him. After being asked about four times this morning, he's finally getting on with it.

He's doing it whilst watching youtube videos on his phone. He's had a break to go to the loo. He's had a break to have a drink. He's had a break to find some hayfever tablets. The top layer is now empty, but the bottom layer still needs emptying and the dishwasher reloading.

He's just left the kitchen for five minutes because he needs to wipe his nose.

Please tell me I'm teaching him life skills and being a better mother than one who's just do it myself?

I'm trying to sit at the kitchen table and do some work but I can feel my temper rising, which, I know, will help nothing.

Hahaha!! It can take me up to three days to empty my dishwasher, I absolutely hate doing it (but hate washing up more!). I live alone though so the only person I annoy is myself!

@OldTinHat

Hahaha!! It can take me up to three days to empty my dishwasher, I absolutely hate doing it (but hate washing up more!). I live alone though so the only person I annoy is myself!

I hate doing it as well. if left to my own devices mine would probably be a ‘spare’ cupboard.

I hate doing it as well. if left to my own devices mine would probably be a ‘spare’ cupboard.

🤣🤣🤣

I have finally overcome my own inner teenager. Finally stripped and changed my bed which for some reason I just couldn’t be bothered to do for much longer than my usual weekly chore.
My inner teenager is strong at the moment for some reason. I may need someone to turn my wifi off !!

Oh how I laugh when parents of younger children or even no children say, 'teach them when they're younger' etc

My teenage DSs used to fight, yes fight over who would Hoover and who would dust they loved it. Then bam along came the teenage hormones - slow, painfully slow, the huffing and the puffing it's comical and very difficult not to lose your shit.

They both have jobs and are highly thought of there so clearly it's just a home thing, seeing what they can get away with and how long they can keep it up before steam comes out of my ears!

My teens are grown and gone. Thank you for your post OP, made me lol.. This will pass and you will both survive it.

I would be going back to basics. Tell him that as he finds loading/ unloading the dishwasher such a trial, you have decided to go back to washing up by hand. Leave a large pile of dirty dishes by the sink and ask him to wash them all by hand. I reckon he would soon decide that actually loading and unloading the dishwasher isn’t such a terrible job after all.

But hurrah for turning off the wifi. In the olden days I used to turn off the electricity in order to get him out of his room. Instant.

I don’t get all these suggestions to turn the WiFi off. Surely that means you can’t use it either?!

I feel you @reallyneedmoresleep

My 12 year old twins have the job of unloading and reloading the dishwasher after dinner, turning it on and generally tidying up. By that I mean sauces get put away, table gets wiped - cooking detritus is dealt with by me or DH.

Even after a stern talking to right after dinner, they still didn’t manage to do it and had a proper telling off. We finished dinner at about 1830 and by 2100 they were done

I can’t be the only one seeing this in active convos & thinking He can’t still be emptying the dishwasher can he?!?

I've threatened to turn off the wifi and the stock reply is, I'll just use 4G - it costs more 😳

I have 3DS's (2, 7and 11) the eldest is soo lazy! Complains about the slightest chore including picking up his own laundry from the floor (right beside the bin) and bringing his empty glass to the kitchen.
You are definitely teaching him a valuable lesson! My DH would have turned the WIFI off by now!
Stick to your guns OP!

There needs to be a home (charger perhaps) where phones live whilst tasks such as this are done. The wifi being turned off is another option.

Your family response 'hardball' was the correct one.

Ah the old "do something so badly* no one will ask me to do it again" trick. Ask him to do it at twice the speed next time

• so slowly, in this case

DS (11) is definitely in this zone. Impressive 'uuughhh!!' if asked to anything. If he's done one thing that took ten seconds like putting his socks, which he always leaves on the floor, in the wash, then it's MASSIVELY unreasonable to expect him to do anything for at least a week. He has to do 'EVERYTHING'!!!!! IT'S SO UNFAIR. its actually like hes parodying Harry Enfield.

I know teens can be lazy and there is the teen boy expectation but it’s a bit crap at 17 they can’t manage a quick job.
I had a Saturday job from 14 working in a pub kitchen which quickly grew to holidays too.
I reckon the money incentive really taught me a lot about working hard.
My DD’s already want a Saturday job and help out a bit in the house, I come home to the dishwasher done and re filled etc they are 11 and 14 and just get on with it I haven’t asked specifically.
I think it’s a bit crap and not just teen behaviour to be so slow about doing a quick job and watching the phone all the time doing it.

Solidarity! My 17yo DD is the same. For all the smugs that say "start them young" - I did....that worked well until she hit about 11/12. Still, I persist.

My teen boys have unlimited data on their phones so turning the WiFi off does precisely nothing. 😬

My bargaining tool is lifts. Yes I'll take you into town/the gym if you strip your bed /bring down all kitchen things / take your washing to the laundry room first etc etc