DS (17) has been unloading the dishwasher for nearly an hour

[reallyneedmoresleep]

...and I think I'm about to explode. He was supposed to do it yesterday, but didn't. The rest of the family is playing hardball and we've let all the dirty dishes build up rather than do his chore (singular!!!) for him. After being asked about four times this morning, he's finally getting on with it.

He's doing it whilst watching youtube videos on his phone. He's had a break to go to the loo. He's had a break to have a drink. He's had a break to find some hayfever tablets. The top layer is now empty, but the bottom layer still needs emptying and the dishwasher reloading.

He's just left the kitchen for five minutes because he needs to wipe his nose.

Please tell me I'm teaching him life skills and being a better mother than one who's just do it myself?

I'm trying to sit at the kitchen table and do some work but I can feel my temper rising, which, I know, will help nothing.

It's a battle of strength, don't let him win 😆

He unloaded the top shelf first? What kind of monster are you raising?

@JustKeep

Why wouldn’t you unload the top layer first? I always do.

You are supposed to unload the bottom shelf first, otherwise any water left on top shelf things will drip onto the bottom stuff. It’s what is written in the instructions!

Jessi1972 A woman after my own heart. I used to put the teenagers stuff in a basket for them to take upstairs, if they passed it more than once and didn't bother their backside to pick it up i would put it in a locked shed and they would have to buy their things back. They were given 24 hours to clean their room, if they didn't i did, by opening the window and throwing everything that had been dumped on the floor out of the window, only ever had to do it once

@reallyneedmoresleep I also have a 17 year old DS and this is so familiar to me. 😂

@NaToth

I wouldn't be able to be in the same room as anyone unloading a dishwasher top shelf first!

It's not just me then?

And there I was thinking I was the only one with a DS that was like this! (16 yo)

Oh OP I feel your pain. They do it on purpose so that they won’t get asked again. Do not allow their gaslighting! I took DD 16 to the supermarket today to “help” me as I’m not feeling 100%. The shopping took…ages as she was dithering about on her phone and walking at a snails pace instead of collecting what I was asking for. I almost fainted in the shop and had to speed her along so I could pay and get back to the car! She was speedier when it came to the packing part though thankfully!

My dss is like this . Drives me insane

He is fundamentally lazy and I am sick of it . This isn't helpful to you I know

U like the tactic of taking ages to do something they want

Golly, I do hope his dinner won't be terribly delayed.... one item served at a time, long gaps between...

There was me being annoyed my 9yo twins have to be reminded every day - it’s their only regular job! Even they know it’s bottom level first! I would explode op.

😆Sounds like Kevin the teenager washing the car.

Do not judge, I’ve come to realise that some many interactions like this come down to who calls who’s bluff. He’s testing you and he’s hoping to get away without doing it, double his workload and if he refuses hear, then privelleges are removed; WiFi, tv, phone, outside play et al

I’m laughing in recognition 🤣 my son (almost 20) is exactly the same!

“But university is more important than the housework / my bedroom being tidy”

He’s been away for 8 weeks, back in a week. I don’t know how to feel!!!!!!!!!

Look.up the 'Kevin the teenager washing his Dad's car' on YouTube......

I have a 16 year old and 2 12 year olds. They empty the dishwasher on a rota system. It has to be done before school.

I actually washed up the breakfast dishes the other morning rather than empty the bloody thing when a huge tantrum happened prior to school and DT1 flounced out having refused to do it.
She the asked me if she could stay out with her friends after school and was told no. She had to come home to empty the dishwasher. Her twin got to stay out.

He probably thinks that if it takes him that long to complete the task he won't be asked again.
I used to be married to someone like that🙄

@Three0fivepointfour

My 13year old brought the washing in. Of her own volition. The still damp clothes were left in an IKEA bag on the floor. I came home to find all the pegs arranged on the line in rainbow coloured order. Aesthetics init?

Have you watched Harry Enfields Kevin the teenager cleaning the car? Laugh at that in front of him

Our rule was that anything on the side when you emptied the dishwasher was your responsibility to put back in. So, if he left it for two days then that's two days of washing up for him to sort out.

Tell him that he's taking the Michael and that he will lose his right to internet use or something along those lines if he doesn't get it done at a regular persons pace. If I want my children to do something they earn extra screen time for each chore they complete

This has made me smile, remembering my eldest at that age. An utter Kevin! They do get better...eventually! But my gosh they test your patience to madness. Wish you luck with him. You two will laugh about this one day. Especially if you’re lucky enough to see him raising Kevins of his own! Grannies get the last laugh!

Crikey... how big is your dishwasher that he has to have breaks?

There is hope OP. Hang in there..... My 21 year old cleaned the whole kitchen, unstacked and restacked the dishwasher and made me an omelette. I had that look on my face for sure, when he then said 'what is that look for' .

He had been the all day dishes unstacker, we have known to have no cutlery left in the drawer as it was all in his room. Clothes piled up not put away etc etc.

I don't know what happened but he has morphed out of sloth mode.

We even hold actual conversations now too. And he came along with me to the shops, just because he wasn't doing anything better. I don't think a child has volunteered to come along on a grocery shop in 10 years.

Omg

Does he have a job?

When I was a teenager I worked in a pub kitchen and now I do tasks like this super fast